by Rebecca A. Anderson

beckyannea@aol.com

Kathryn Janeway gazed at the photograph, then carefully placed it back into the gilded trunk from which it came. It was of her father and Justin; pages and people from her past that didn't have any bearing on her life in the here and now.

She had found the photograph while she was digging through the trunk in search of a certain pair of earrings to wear on her trip to the holodeck with Chakotay.

She gently clamped the locks on the trunk shut, and turned the key, sealing and isolating that part of her past once again.

Chakotay noticed his companion was subdued. She seemed even more aloof than usual, if that was possible, seeming to draw strength from her inner reservoir of composure and dignity.

They strolled along the beach in silence, Kathryn not paying a bit of attention to her surroundings, but to her inner struggle for strength.

Finally not able to tolerate the overwhelming silence any longer, Chakotay stopped walking and said, "Kathryn, what's going on? I know that you're not normally this..." he fumbled for a word, "...reserved." His eyes reflected genuine concern for her well being.

She hesitated. How could she bare her very soul, the torments of her life, past and present, to this man? How could he possibly understand?

Janeway didn't realize that she was crying until he wrapped his arms around her shaking body. "It's all right, Kathryn," he soothed.

She finally, after much debate, decided to bring her problems to a head, and expose them, and her soul as well, to her friend and First Officer. After all, once more into the breach.

"I saw a... photo today," she started, sniffling miserably. "It was one of my father and Justin." Emotion slammed into her like a brick wall and she began to sob into her First Officer's shoulder.

Lieutenant Justin Tighe piled the firewood, intending to build a fire, but a sudden feeling of anxiety overcame him, but then it was gone, just as soon as it had come in the first place.

Vice-Admiral Edward Janeway staggered into the clearing that surrounded their tiny house, carrying the results of a day's hunting; three fowl. The fowl were huge, probably about eleven kilograms apiece, possibly more.

For the last sixteen years, these two stubborn men had worked together to ensure their survival. They had lived together, taken care of each other.

Neither knew whether or not Kathryn had survived the crash of the Terra Nova. All that they knew was that she hadn't been thrown into the subspace anomaly with them. The anomaly had taken them from Tau Ceti Prime, and deposited them on this forested planet, god only knows where.

Perhaps she was dead. Maybe she was alive. Neither knew, and it didn't really matter at that point. But both prayed that she was alive and well.

Edward ran his fingers through his silver hair, after he slung the fowl to the ground. "Justin, will you please help me pluck these things?"

"Of course, Ed," Justin replied.

Kathryn awoke screaming. For an instant, her quarters weren't her quarters, but the rear cabin of the Terra Nova. Her throat hurt, but she kept screaming.

Her hair was plastered to her head, held in place by perspiration that would put an athlete to shame. She sucked in a few harrowed breaths after she consciously quit screaming. Her mind still cried out in fear.

The doors to her quarters hissed open and Chakotay dashed into the room. He had obviously just been awakened from a deep sleep, seeing as how he was still blinking back to consciousness. "Are you all right, Kathryn?"

Still gulping air as if it were going out of style, she nodded. "It was just a dream," she said, trying to assure not only him, but herself as well. "I think you can go back to bed now, Chakotay."

He looked uncertain. "Are you sure?"

She struggled with herself and her conflicting emotions, then shook her head no. "Please stay," she requested. His presence would make her feel safer.

She was only now beginning to realize the extent of her feelings, her love, her devotion, towards him. His presence in a room was like a soothing salve to her tormented body and soul.

"Are you sure?" he asked again. "I can go if you want me to."

"I want you to stay. Please," she practically begged.

Seeing how insecure she was feeling, Chakotay decided that it was in their best interests that he stay.

Kathryn struggled in her sleep, tossing from one side to the other restlessly, almost in a panic. Then she started awake with a frightened shriek. Chakotay stayed beside her, comforting her and calming her.

It had been nearly two weeks since her first nightmare, and still, every night, she pleaded with him to stay. He was considering just moving in with her.

The betting pools and rumor mills were going full swing in light of their developing relationship.

Tears slid down her cheeks, leaving shiny, wet streaks of the salty liquid on her face. She hadn't revealed what her dreams were about, but it was obvious that, whatever it was, it was a horribly harrowing experience, whether simply that, a dream, or rooted in memory.

She laid her head on his shoulder, letting her tears wet his skin. He held her close, defying any demon, real or made up, to take her away.

Ever since New Earth, and his on-the-fly angry warrior story, she had pushed him, and his love for her, away, but now, she needed him. Her walls of protocol and regulations had fallen prey to an intense human need for protection; for love. The walls had tumbled as though a single block had been pulled out from under a tower of building blocks.

He gently stroked her cheek, trying to soothe, but she interpreted it differently. Her entire body stiffened, bristling, practically daring him to continue.

Breaking the heavy silence, he whispered, "It's all right, Kathryn." But the wall resisted before succumbing to the unrestrained love and healing force that existed within his touch.

Before he led her to sleep's doorstep, she cursed herself. This was what she wanted. Wasn't it? Wasn't Chakotay giving her the strength to continue on? Or was it just her? Was she imagining unrestrained love and devotion on his part?

But before she could even begin to answer the barrage of questions flooding her mind, she was asleep again.

Hopefully, she wouldn't visit the Terra Nova again that night.

Once again, Justin found himself thinking about Kathryn. He had loved her so much; she had been his one true love.

Was she dead? Was she alive having survived the Terra Nova?

He had not the time to ponder those questions, for a torrential rain was pummeling him.

He was on his way back to the house in the clearing when the monsoon struck. The roots that he was carrying were slippery because of the rain, and he kept dropping them.

Sloshing through the mud, he trudged on. There was next to no danger if he could get to the house.

It was a normal day on the bridge. Nothing too out of the ordinary; no overly extraordinary problems; no alien enemies, or friends, for the matter, anywhere around. The Voyager was safe, for the time being, at least.

Captain Janeway was obviously exhausted. Dark circles encompassed her eyes, making her look like a raccoon, and they weren't even sparkling with suppressed excitement, like usual. Her skin was pale, and she was struggling to stay awake.

She had visited the Terra Nova several times the night before. But, as always, Chakotay had been there when she awoke in terror.

They were growing closer every day, every night, every time she had the dream. She was beginning to realize the true extent of her feelings towards Chakotay. She was falling, head over heels.

Once again, she began to doze off. Giving herself a mental shake, she said, "Commander, you have the bridge. I'll be in my ready room."

As Voyager approached the planet, two blips on the sensors became readable.

Harry Kim regretted having to wake the Captain. She'd been so listless lately from her obvious lack of sleep, that he just wanted to let her sleep.

But she'd definitely want to know about the two human lifesigns on the planet. "Kim to Janeway," he said.

Her voice came over the comm, slurred with sleep. "Janeway here. This had better be good, Ensign, because you just woke me from a very nice dream."

"On the planet, we've been picking up two unreadable sensor blips. Since we've gotten closer, the blips have resolved." He paused. "Captain, I'm reading two adult human males. I cross-referenced them with the Federation lifesign database."

Only mildly interested, she said, "And?"

"And we have two exact matches. One Vice-Admiral Edward Stuart Janeway and one Lieutenant Justin Alexander Tighe. The database had them listed as deceased."

The silence on Janeway's side of the line was almost audible. Finally, her voice tinged with disbelief, she said, "Are you sure?"

"Positive, Captain."

Another long pause greeted his words. Finally, she spoke. "When we enter orbit, Commander Chakotay and I will beam down to the planet. Janeway out."

Chakotay came out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his wait, to find Kathryn standing by the window, staring into the dark recesses of space.

Hearing him, she turned and immediately began to blush. She stared back out the window, allowing him time to change into his uniform.

"When we get to the planet, Neelix and his teams will beam down to check for edible plant life," he said, pulling the turtleneck over his head. He hastily donned the rest of his uniform and said, "There. I'm done now."

But still she would not turn to meet his gaze. "Are you all right, Kathryn?" he asked. "Captain?"

"I'm fine," she snapped. She immediately regretted the icy tone that had creeped into her voice, for Chakotay recoiled, as though he'd been struck. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean..."

"It's all right," he answered. "Any orders from the Captain to be taken care of immediately?"

"Yes. After Neelix's teams beam down, you and I will be going as well."

"Any particular reason, or is that just a bit of wishful thinking on my part?" Chakotay asked with an impish grin plastered on his face.

He didn't understand why Kathryn burst into tears. But, then again, neither did she.

"Chakotay, I don't know if I can do this," Kathryn said. They were standing outside of the small house, poised to knock on the door when she had hesitated.

She knew nothing of what to expect, and it frightened her more than she was even willing to admit.

"I'll do the knocking, and the talking. Just don't faint on me, too," Chakotay said, rapping soundly on the door.

It opened to reveal her father. She wanted so much to just turn and run from him--from all of this--and just go back to Voyager, content to travel the stars for all eternity. But her feet were rooted firmly in place and she couldn't help but look at him.

Edward recognized her before any dialogue could be exchanged. "Kathryn?" he asked in disbelief.

She turned grey in the face and began to swoon. Chakotay grabbed her to steady her. She felt his strong arms holding her, and some small part of her wondered what those arms would feel like if they were hers for the rest of their lives. After all, to have and to hold...

"I'm all right," she managed to say weakly. "I just need to sit down." Her exhaustion and the shock of this was beginning to take its hold. If she didn't sit down, Voyager would be temporarily out of a Captain.

Chakotay led her over to a tiny table and two chairs. She all but collapsed into one of the chairs.

"Is she going to be all right?" Edward asked, paternal concern occupying his voice.

"I think so, sir," Chakotay replied, looking up from his beloved's pale face. "She hasn't been sleeping well lately, and this might be bringing her exhaustion to a peak."

"I will be fine," Kathryn assured them both. Neither her father, nor her First Officer appeared fully convinced.

The door opened and Justin came in, dragging a sled of sorts that was heaped high with firewood. His back was to the table as he entered, so he didn't see the group around it. "I gathered enough to last about a week or so," he said, trying to tug the stubborn sledge into the room.

Edward chuckled. "I don't think we'll be needing it," he said, gently placing his hand on his daughter's shoulder.

"Of course we need it, Ed. If we don't have the firewood, we'll freeze to death," Justin replied.

Edward grinned at Kathryn. "No, Justin, believe me, we won't be needing the firewood," he insisted with a laugh.

Justin dropped the end of the sledge and whirled around to face the admiral. "I am telling you..." An incredibly stunned look became plastered to his face. "Kathryn?"

She smiled indulgently as he ran over to embrace her. He broke away from the hug and kissed her tenderly. She could sense Chakotay stiffen behind her.

He resented the closeness between the dark-haired man--Lieutenant Tighe, wasn't it--and Kathryn. Pangs of jealousy ran throughout his body.

Thunder boomed, shaking the walls of the small house in the clearing. Then came the soothing sound of rain drumming steadily upon the roof.

Justin brought out another platter piled high with a type of grilled root to the table.

"Mmm, this is delicious," Kathryn told him, spearing another root. "Isn't it, Chakotay?" she asked her First Officer.

"Wonderful," he answered--not very convincingly. In truth, he wished that he was eating a raw leyola root.

Chakotay was irritated that they had been caught in the storm, unable to be beamed back to Voyager. And seeing the unconditional love that was radiating from Tighe, he became angry.

"Excuse me," he said suddenly, leaving the table. He made for the door.

"Chakotay, you can't go out there," Kathryn protested, rising quickly from her seat. There was a heavy worry that was evident in her features. "You're not going out there, Commander. That's an order. Besides, it's a terrible insult to leave the table in the middle of a meal."

"I don't exactly see any indoor plumbing around here," Chakotay said, rolling his eyes and gesturing around the room. "So, I HAVE to go out." Without another word, he opened the door and disappeared into the sheet of rain.

Kathryn resumed her seat, her face flushed in embarrassment. She'd just been concerned for Chakotay's safety. Going out in a rainstorm wasn't the wisest thing to do.

Edward chuckled throatily at his daughter's obvious discomfort. "I see that you care very much for the welfare of your crew, Goldenbird," he said, eyes twinkling mischievously.

She blushed even more deeply. If only he knew! "Yes, Daddy, it's something I pride myself in," she managed to croak out.

She was nervous and jittery until Chakotay returned inside, soaked to the bone and covered in mud. He smiled slightly and asked if they had some extra clothes. It seemed that he'd slipped in a mud puddle.

Justin pointed him to a trunk of clothes. Edward teased in a whisper, "He's back. You can settle down now."

Kathryn shot her father an icy glare before walking across the room to Chakotay's side. "Did you hurt yourself?" she asked him.

"Only a little. But it isn't a big deal," he replied, using a towel to wipe away the sludge that was affixed to his skin. He was practically glowing from her attention.

"Good," she said, flashing him a smile that he returned in kind.

Kathryn still didn't remember how she'd ended up in the bottom of a muddy ravine, leg broken and wrist sprained to the point of unusability.

She had left the table in a huff when Chakotay and Justin had started fighting over something--she couldn't even remember what--and she'd walked out into the full fury of the storm.

In short order, she'd become lost, blinded by the cold rain. Then she had plummeted to the bottom of the ravine when she'd slipped in a patch of mud.

"Help!" she screamed, though she knew that no one could hear her. "Help!" Between the icy rain and the cold mud, her body was losing precious heat quickly. Her leg was beginning to go numb.

She had one last thing to try...

Chakotay paced restlessly. "She should've been back by now," he said.

Justin and Edward laughed. "Obviously, you don't know Kathryn very well, Commander," Edward said, wiping away tears of laughter.

Chakotay turned his full fury on the admiral. "No. Obviously, YOU don't know her very well."

A sudden rush of fear washed over him. It confused him momentarily, for it wasn't his emotion. Then he heard Kathryn's voice in his mind.

Chakotay, help me! My leg... it's broken. I can't get out... of the... ravine...

He realized that she was communicating through their animal guides. He had taught her to do that, in case either of them were out of reach of the ship or injured.

I'm so cold... came her voice faintly.

"Chakotay? Are you all right?" Justin asked, concerned.

"Is there a ravine around here?" Chakotay asked, breathless.

"Yes. Why?" Edward replied.

"Just tell me which way to go," Chakotay ordered irritated.

"Northeast. It's about three kilometers away," Justin replied. "Don't tell me you're going out there!"

"I am. I know where she is. She's hurt, so pull together some supplies." He grabbed a rope from alongside the door before rushing into the passionate fury of the storm.

Her eyes fluttered shut. Her eyelids felt like they were weighted with lead. She ordered herself not to fall asleep, but her body wouldn't obey. She found herself drifting, floating in a sea of drowsiness.

Chakotay's voice filled her mind, shocking her awake slightly. Kathryn, I know you want to go to sleep, but you shouldn't. C'mon. I need you to stay awake, he begged.

His tone was enough to pull her all the way back to consciousness. I'm awake, she replied, shivering. The rain was terribly cold, and the mud she was laying in wasn't much warmer.

I'm almost to the ravine, he said, his thoughts vibrating and echoing throughout her mind. I'm going to call you. Answer if you can hear me.

A faint sound came over the noise of the storm. I can't hear you! she cried. A thought occurred to her. Chakotay, watch out for the mud!

"I am being careful," he called. "Fortunately for you, I grabbed a rope before I left," he said as an end of the line dangled down above her. "Let me know when you get enough to tie around your waist."

It came towards her. "Enough!" she cried. The rope's descent halted, and she tied it around her waist and stood up on her good leg. The edge was only eighteen feet up. She could make it.

Slowly, unsteadily, she began to climb.

Chakotay pulled up the rope as she climbed. "If you get up here, Kathryn, I'll carry you all the way back to the house," he promised, adding some incentive.

She didn't respond because she was too busy trying not to scream at the pain that was threatening to overtake her.

Somehow, she managed to make it to the top. Rounding the ravine's edge, she collapsed into Chakotay's waiting arms.

The door to the house burst open, admitting a soaked pair consisting of Kathryn and Chakotay.

He crossed the room to lay her onto one of the two beds. She moaned as she lay back onto the mattress.

Her leg was twisted at an unnatural angle, and her wrist was swollen to three times its normal size. Chakotay brushed past a startled Edward and Justin to get a cold cloth to try to bring the swelling down.

As soon as he was out of her limited sight, she begged in a moan, "Don't leave me, Chakotay. Please don't leave me."

The other two men congregated at the foot of the bed. Chakotay soothed, from the other side of the room, "Kathryn, I'm right over here, getting something for your wrist."

"Come back where I can see you," she insisted, her voice rising from a normal level to a pained shriek in the midst of the words. "Chakotay!" she gasped.

Her leg felt as though it were on fire. White hot needles penetrated skin and bone, causing her unbearable agony. She was thankful that her wrist was completely numb.

She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to close out the pain. She knew that Chakotay had come back because he gently stroked her cheek, trying to soothe, trying to reassure.

"Your leg?" he inquired in a whisper. She forced herself to nod. His gentle hands ran down her thigh, probing. She screamed as his fingers hit the break in the bone.

"I'm going to have to splint it, Captain," he said.

She opened her eyes, staring up into his dark face. "Don't leave me."

"I have to splint it," he repeated.

"Don't leave me."

Justin volunteered, "I can set it with some of the firewood." He bounded for the pile of wood.

"I'm not going to leave you, Kathryn," Chakotay said. "Remember the angry warrior's vow?"

Kathryn smiled, reaching out with her good hand to grasp his.

"Voyager to Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay. Please respond," came Tuvok's voice over their combadges.

Kathryn was sound asleep, her face a contorted mask of pain. Chakotay was sitting beside her, holding her hand.

He tapped his combadge. "Chakotay here."

"Have you and the Captain accomplished your objective?"

Chakotay laughed heartily. Tuvok said, "I fail to find anything amusing about your mission, Commander."

"Never mind, Lieutenant. Yes, we have accomplished our objective. Admiral Janeway and Lieutenant Tighe are packing their things." He paused. "Can you beam the Doctor down?"

"Certainly, Commander, but may I ask why?"

"Captain Janeway has a broken leg and an injured wrist." He offered no explanation.

"We are downloading his program into the autonomous emitter now," Tuvok replied. "Voyager out."

When Chakotay turned back to look at Kathryn, her eyes were open. She smiled weakly and squeezed his hand. It was her way of saying thank you and well done.

He raised her hand and kissed it tenderly, then smiled.

"You need to use these for two days, until you have recovered sufficiently to use your legs, Captain," the Doctor pronounced, handing Kathryn a pair of crutches. "I suggest that you acquaint yourself with them. And your quarters, as well," he added.

"What do you mean?" Janeway demanded in anger. If he was saying what she thought he was...

"You are off-duty for two days. Doctor's orders. Now get out of here."

She used the crutches to swing across the room. "I won't EVER let you live THIS one down," she growled as she passed him. He simply snorted and went into his office.

She swung out into the hall, grumbling as she went. How could he DO this to her? She needed SOMETHING to do!

Kathryn hit something solid, which grunted, and they both caught in a tangle of limbs.

"I'm sorry, Kathryn," Justin said, trying to disentangle himself from her.

"That's alright, Lieutenant," she said, raising herself from the ground with her crutches.

Sensing her deliberate formality, he asked, "May I speak with you in private?"

"Of course, Lieutenant," she replied, starting to swing down the corridor again.

Once they reached her quarters, she plopped down on the sofa. Before she could speak, he demanded, "Why are you avoiding me?"

"I am not avoiding you," she answered, lying through the skin of her teeth. "Would you care to explain to me why you think I am avoiding you?"

His face turned beet red. "You won't be seen with me. You spend more time alone or with someone else than you'll even consider spending with me."

She interrupted. "Enough! So what if I'm avoiding you? I have a ship to run. I have this to deal with," she said, slapping her leg. "For the gods' sake, Justin, give me a break!"

Dryly, he said, "You already have one, Kathryn."

Despite herself, Kathryn broke into giggles. Justin looked relieved and sat down beside her.

"I'm sorry, Justin," she said. "It's just that I am so busy. I feel so stressed out right now, what with all that has happened."

He took her hand in his, caressing it tenderly. "I know, Kathryn," he said, gazing deeply into her eyes.

Justin was going to kiss her. Her mind registered that fact right before his lips met hers.

Their kiss was heated, passionate. Kathryn wanted to break from his arms, to tell him that she didn't love him anymore, but his arms held her securely in place against his chest.

And by the time he ended the kiss, she hardly remembered how to protest.

He leaned down to kiss her again, but she placed her index finger on his lips. "Justin, so much has changed since the Terra Nova crashed. You've changed. I've changed."

He stared at her. "You're right," he finally admitted.

"We both need time to see if we still love each other," she said softly.

He nodded his agreement. "I think that I'm going to get something to eat. Would you like to come?"

"No thank you. Be careful of anything that has little puce-colored chunks in it," she said, deadly serious. The last time she'd eaten Neelix's cooking, the puce things, actually leyola root, had given her the worst case of heartburn she'd ever had in her life.

"I will," he promised with a jaunty grin as he walked out the door.

Kathryn wanted to kick herself. Last week, she'd been entertaining fantasies of Chakotay. Now, she'd just been kissing another man.

She grabbed a pillow and held it close before bursting into tears.

Chakotay keyed open the doors to his quarters, expecting to go in and get a good night's sleep.

Instead, he found Justin and Edward unpacking their things. "What the hell is going on?" he demanded. "These are my quarters. What are you doing in here?" He surveyed the room, then asked, "And where the hell is my stuff?"

Edward came forward. "Commander, Kathryn allocated your quarters for our use. I'd assumed that she'd told you, because they were empty when we came in earlier."

Chakotay nodded tersely. "I'm sorry that I bothered you, Admiral." He stalked out the doors and down the hall to Kathryn's quarters.

He didn't bother to ring, but used the override, then stepped in, ready to start a fight.

Kathryn was lying on the couch in her rose-colored satin nightgown. Her hair was loose, cascading over her shoulders, catching the light of a lone candle on the end of the table. She was sound asleep.

He smiled as he looked around. His things were all around him. The multi-hued rug that he used to kneel on when he was meditating was neatly folded and on the table, along with his blankets, decorative rugs, clothes, and his other belongings.

But, to his surprise, Kathryn was clutching his medicine bundle tightly to her chest.

He couldn't be angry anymore. Not even after what she'd done.

Chakotay crossed the room and leaned down to kiss her on the cheek. Her eyes fluttered open, then widened in surprise.

"Chakotay? I thought you were on duty," she said, shaking her head.

"I must say that this was a pleasant surprise, Kathryn," he said softly. "Moving in with the Captain... It's a dangerous proposition... " His eyes gleamed with good humor, and a smile played at his lips.

"It's only temporary, at least until we can clean out the rooms on deck 13," she said, straightening up and relinquishing the medicine bundle.

"And I suppose I get to sleep on the couch?"

She shook her head. "No, I get the couch. I don't think I could move if I tried." She smiled ruefully. "I overdid it, bringing your things over here."

"Then it's good for you to rest," he said. "I shouldn't have woken you up." He glanced at her old grandfather clock, which ticked away joyfully. "I'd better turn in."

"Goodnight, Chakotay," she murmured, as they hugged one another goodnight.

"'Night, Kathryn," he replied, kissing her on the forehead.

Chakotay's eyes snapped open when he heard a loud thud in the other room, followed by a soft sob.

Realizing that he was in Kathryn's quarters, and that she was the one crying, he jumped out of bed and ran into the other room.

She was sprawled on the floor on her side, clutching her broken leg. Her crutches lay in a heap, entangled, away from her on the floor.

Her eyes were bright with tears as he stooped down to her side. "What happened?"

"I was getting up for some water and I started swinging off balance." She looked ashamed as she admitted, "I fell."

He chuckled. "What do I need to do to get you to rest? Hold you tight?"

Kathryn felt her face flush. She opened her mouth and was absolutely astonished by what she said next. "Perhaps that would be a good idea, Chakotay." She blushed harder as he did a double take.

He wordlessly got a glass of water from the bathroom. After letting her drink her fill and putting the cup back on the table, he scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the bed.

After lying down beside her, he wrapped his arms tightly around her waist.

Kathryn sighed quietly. There was warm, tender emotion being passed through his arms to her. The emotion soothed her, lulling her back to sleep.

She awoke, feeling Chakotay's lips brushing against the skin of her neck in an almost worshipful gesture. He moved the feather-like kisses up towards her jaw and Kathryn felt herself shudder.

"Are you awake?" he asked softly, gently stroking her arm.

"Yes," she whispered, rolling over to face him. Ever so gently, she caressed the tattoo that she'd longed to touch for what seemed a lifetime.

Their lips met gently, but soon the gentleness was all but gone, replaced with a passion that was intense but tender, fed by a desire that was terribly apparent in their eyes.

When they had finished making love, Kathryn finally had the courage to say, "Chakotay, I love you."

His eyes glowed happily in the dim light. "Do you mean that?"

"Of course I mean it, Chakotay," she replied, tracing a pattern on his chest.

His eyes clouded. "What about Lieutenant Tighe?" he practically spat out.

"I love Justin, too," she answered truthfully. "But not the way I love you. I love him like the brother that I never had, but I love you, and it's like nothing I've ever felt before," she said with a soft smile.

"What does it feel like?" he asked curiously, lightly running his fingers through her hair.

"That's for me to know and you to find out," she teased mercilessly.

"Ouch, that hurt," Chakotay exclaimed in mock indignation.

"Don't I know it," she murmured sleepily.

"Well... Kathryn, I love you. Irish spirit and all," he said, kissing her on the cheek.

Kathryn began to blink groggily back to consciousness. She was in Sickbay.

The Doctor leaned over her and said, "Hello, Captain. How do you feel? Are you hungry?"

Just the mention of hunger was enough to make her fight for control of her stomach, which was turning cartwheels.

"Ah. Just what I thought."

He left her bedside, then came back with a hypospray. "This is an anti-nauseate. It should help to dispel your morning sickness," he said as he injected her.

"Morning sickness?" she asked. The realization hit. "I'm pregnant?"

The Doctor nodded. "You are about 4 weeks along. I assume that you know who the father is?"

"Yes, I do," she said softly.

"Good. I have a few instructions for you. Number one--quit drinking coffee, even Neelix's version. It isn't good for the fetus. Number two--get more rest. That is beneficial for both you and the fetus. Number three--you must eat something at every meal," he finished with a flourish.

Kathryn, not up to arguing with a self-righteous hologram, simply nodded. "May I leave?" she asked.

"Of course." She slipped off the biobed and headed for the door. Right before she left the room, he said, "Congratulations, Captain." He smiled as he said it.

"Thank you, Doctor."

She decided to take the rest of the afternoon off. Her quarters seemed so appealing for some reason. So she lounged around for most of the afternoon.

When Chakotay came in after alpha shift was over, she was sitting up to her easel, painting a landscape.

She broke from her brushstrokes long enough to receive a tender kiss from her lover. "Feeling better?" he inquired.

"Much better," Kathryn replied. She mixed a new color of green on her palette. It was a soft, pale green, with just a hint of blue to it, triggering a memory of the hand-woven blanket that had bee her companion through most of her childhood.

"Did the Doctor say what it was?" Chakotay prodded. He was pulling his usual stunt of sitting on the tabletop, feet resting on a chair seat.

Kathryn simply smiled to herself. "Yes, and it's only temporary, so you don't have much to worry about." Her little smile grew into a full-fledged, heart-filled grin.

She knew that she really ought to tell him that fatherhood was in the stars for him very soon, but she wanted to keep it a secret for a while.

Her little secret. Their child.

"What are you grinning about?" he asked, his voice thick and velvety.

"Nothing," she said, covering her paints, and preparing to call it quits for the night. "I'm getting ready for bed."

"You? Turning in early?" his voice held a note of disbelief. "Since when?"

"Since the Doctor informed me that I need to get some extra sleep until I feel better," she said as he came over to rub her shoulders. She let him massage away the day's pains, but after a few minutes said, "That feels so good, but I have to get some rest or I'll be a walking zombie tomorrow."

"And I need some time to unwind. B'Elanna promised me a Parisses Squares match." He kissed her on the cheek.

"Have fun," Kathryn ordered with a smile. "And be careful!" She let her lips drift lazily to his, kissing him just enough to leave him wanting more.

"Now I don't wanna go," he whined. "Can you save some of that for me?"

"Of course. Now scat!" He left, leaving her to get ready for bed.

She changed into her satin nightgown, relishing the softness and texture of the cool fabric on her skin. Soon, she wouldn't be able to wear it because of the baby's growth, but, until then, she intended on living life to the fullest, savoring each touch, each sensation.

She undid the clip that confined her hair to its ponytail. Her hair tumbled around her shoulders, brushing against her skin. She picked up her ivory hairbrush and began to detangle the mass of auburn locks.

She was just finishing when the door chimed. "Hold on," she called, tossing on the bathrobe that matched her nightgown.

Then she got up and crossed the room to answer the door.

The doors opened to reveal Justin, in full uniform. "Justin! I wasn't expecting you," she said. "Come in."

He entered and stood facing her. "Kathryn, this last month, I've realized just how much I love you and how much I need you." He paused and took her hand in his. "Kathryn, I need to know that you love me, too."

Her mind raced. How could she tell him that she didn't love him anymore? Spare him as much pain as possible? "Justin..." She paused, reflecting on their conversation over a month ago. "I can't..."

"Just say you love me," he whispered, then kissed her.

She struggled to get away -- dammit, where was Chakotay when she needed him -- but Justin wouldn't release his hold on her. He was holding her just wrong, otherwise she could've gotten away immediately. She was helpless to save herself.

She could vaguely feel his hands on her body as her mind fluttered against the prison of her mind, seeking release. If she could separate her mind and body, she could contact her animal guide.

She had a sense of complete liberation as her mind broke free of the shackles of her body.

Kathryn's animal guide made its appearance quickly, sensing trouble. Tell Chakotay that Justin is hurting me, Kathryn ordered. The gecko flicked its tongue and vanished.

She returned to her body, feeling anger begin to well up within her. She wanted to kill Justin.

He broke the kiss, even if it was only one-sided, and began to kiss her neck and shoulders.

Dizziness swept over her. Her vision dimmed and she groaned as she fainted in Tighe's arms.

As she fainted, she heard Chakotay come in. Thanking the gods, she collapsed.

Kathryn came to less than five minutes later, to the sight of a stoic Tuvok leading a bloody Justin out of her quarters.

The events of just minutes before came back to her, flooding her mind with such clarity that she could even feel the texture of Tighe's uniform under her fingers. She covered her eyes and moaned, trying to purge her mind of those memories, but to no avail.

A loud cry echoed in her quarters. "Dammit, Nicholetti, don't push on it!" Chakotay snapped, in obvious pain.

Susan Nicholetti's nasal soprano voice floated into the room. "Commander, you need to hold still, so that I can get this damn swelling down."

He howled. Apparently, Nicholetti had found whatever bruise he was sensitive to.

Kathryn leapt to her feet, swaying dizzily for a moment. Regaining her equilibrium, she walked into the bathroom.

An odd spectacle met her eyes. Chakotay was lying on his side on the countertop. Nicholetti was holding an ice pack to his side, her face a grim mask of disgust. "Hold still, Commander," she snapped as he tried to sit up.

"Lieutenant, go report to Tuvok. I'll take care of the Commander," Kathryn instructed softly.

"But, Captain..." Nicholetti started.

Kathryn cut her off. "That's an order, Lieutenant."

Nicholetti gulped. "Yes, ma'am," she said, whisking by Kathryn. The doors to their quarters hissed closed.

"Let's move to the couch," she requested.

As she led him to the sofa, she saw that he and Justin had been in a hell of a fight. Chakotay had a black eye, and a huge bruise was developing beneath his tattoo. He was limping and clutching his injured ribs. They were only bruised, but still painful.

Realizing what he had just put himself through to keep Justin from taking advantage of her, Kathryn felt a rush of love and gratitude. "Thank you," she whispered, laying him across her lap so as to keep the ice upon his bruised ribs.

He grunted. "For what?"

"For protecting me."

His eyes were like glass-covered obsidian, twinkling, but still stony. "Did he hurt you? Because, so help me god, if he did..."

He tried to sit up, but Kathryn pushed him back down. "He didn't hurt me, Chakotay, but if you hadn't come when you did, who knows what he would've done." Tears filled her eyes, threatening to overflow.

Chakotay clumsily put his hand on her cheek. "At least you're safe," he murmured.

She blinked back the tears. "And the baby's safe, too."

"The baby?" he gasped, rolling over to look at her as if she was having him on.

"I didn't want to tell you like this," she whispered. "But, I guess now is as good a time as any." She smiled softly. "Chakotay, you're going to be a father in eight months."

A look like she'd never seen on the face of any man crossed her lover's face. It was a strange combination of astonishment, love, pride, and complete shock plastered all over his face.

Then all of that was replaced with total fury. "I'm going to kill that son of a..."

"No, Chakotay!" she gasped. "My god, what are you saying? You're talking about killing a man whose only crime is loving me and trying to show that love."

"He tried to rape you!" Chakotay bellowed.

"He TRIED but he didn't succeed. Please for my sake--for the baby's sake--don't talk like this," she begged.

Chakotay sighed in resignation. "You're right. I'll stop." He smiled. "A baby..."

Relieved, Kathryn laughed. "Yes, a baby. Our baby."

Justin paced the small cell, cradling his injured arm.

Damn that Chakotay! How could he just walk into Kathryn's quarters and spoil everything? She had been almost ready to tell him that she loved him--he knew it!

Edward stormed into the brig, a fear-evoking expression on his face. "What the hell were you trying to do, Justin?" he demanded in a tone that made Justin's blood curdle. "Oh, I'm sorry. I know what you were trying to do. Now, why the hell were you trying to do that to my daughter?"

"I love her, Ed," Justin cried angrily. "Don't I have the right?"

Edward paled. But the color returned to his face. "No, you don't." He stalked back towards the door, turning to say, "You aren't worth my time or energy."

Chakotay flinched as he removed his clothes to ready himself for bed. Gods, did Justin have a good right swing! He let out an agonized breath with a groan.

"Let me see," Kathryn instructed, coming over beside him. There was a huge, mottled bruise covering three-quarters of his side. "It's stopped seeping. You'll be okay," she pronounced, lightly kissing the bruise.

The door chimed, and Chakotay asked, "Who is it?"

"Me," came the response on the other side of the door.

"Come on in, Daddy," Kathryn said, helping Chakotay into his nightshirt. "Let's get some more ice on that," she coaxed, heading into the other room for the icepack. Dutifully, he followed.

Edward was sitting nervously on the couch. "Kathryn, thank god you're all right!" he cried, leaping up and embracing his daughter.

"Of course I'm all right, Daddy. Was there ever any doubt about that?" she said with a wink.

Chakotay continued on to the couch, collapsing onto it with a moan and a gasp of pain.

"It's Chakotay you should be worried about, Daddy," Kathryn said, grabbing the ice pack. "Justin let him have it good."

"It's not so bad," Chakotay fibbed.

"Ha-ha. Unbutton your shirt," she ordered.

"Shouldn't that wait until I feel better, Kathryn?" he asked weakly. Kathryn shot him a withering look, so he quickly unbuttoned his shirt partway.

He sucked in a sharp breath when she placed the ice on his injury. Kathryn flinched and drew back momentarily.

She looked panicked as a wave of dizziness washed over her, and she sank to her knees. Edward grabbed her before she hit the floor. The icepack lay on the ground, completely forgotten.

"I'm okay," Kathryn moaned. "I just need something to drink."

"Coffee?" her father asked.

"No, water," Chakotay said, holding Kathryn up, his injuries and pain out of his mind.

Edward scurried back with a glass of water, and handed it to her. She drank haltingly, trying to let the liquid refresh her, not take more energy from her dwindling reserves.

"Are you alright?" Edward asked. "You're as pale as a ghost."

"I'm fine, Kathryn insisted. To Chakotay, she said, "I have to rest. Let me sit down," she instructed faintly. He complied and she sat with her head between her knees. "You can tell him," she said softly to him.

Deciding to do his worst, Chakotay bluntly said, "Kathryn and I are having a baby." Neither of them expected what happened next.

There was a loud thud as Edward fainted, and both Kathryn and Chakotay started to laugh so hard that they were rolling on the floor.

"You know, I love you," Kathryn gasped between giggles. "You're so damn tactful."

"I wonder," Kathryn murmured, half-asleep.

Chakotay tightened his hold around her waist slightly. "You wonder what?" he inquired, his voice husky.

"I wonder whether the baby is a boy or a girl. I wonder what he or she will look like." She paused. "I wonder what I'll do to Justin." By now, she was fully awake, and all of the pain and anger of earlier that night came back, threatening to drown her in the backwash.

"Me thinks you'd be better off getting some sleep, not pondering," Chakotay whispered tenderly. "Do you need some music to relax?"

He could hear the tears and raw emotion that was choking her as she cried, "I'm not going to be able to sleep."

Knowing when to stop, he backed down. She was right. There would be no sleep for either of them that night.

She turned to face him before burying her face in his neck, letting her tears bathe him with her pain, fear, revulsion, anger, confusion, and disgust. Her entire body was convulsing in perfect rhythm with her sobs.

The thought that someone could bring her to this point was absolutely sickening to him. No one should be able to hurt another like this!

Chakotay held her close, felt her body trembling beneath the sobs. Kathryn, for the first time ever, was showing her true colors.

She was just as fragile as anyone else on the ship, perhaps even more so. No matter how much she lied to herself, fear is second nature to love.

And this relationship had more than its fair share of both.

Feeling somewhat normal, as she hadn't for several weeks, Kathryn began to dress for the masquerade ball that Neelix was throwing for Chakotay's birthday.

They had debated about what they would wear, finally deciding on an English lord and lady of Earth's Victorian era.

Chakotay had already laced Kathryn into her corset and voluminous silk dress. She felt as though she was being pinned to the ground, what with the forty-seven pounds of clothing that rested upon her frame. And that was without the leather boots, jewelry, and jeweled mask. She wondered briefly what she'd feel like after she was finished.

The birthday boy had already dressed completely in costume--an old-fashioned civilian suit and top hat. His mask was already in place.

"You look wonderful, Chakotay," Kathryn praised, catching a glimpse of him in the mirror.

"I feel strange," he protested. "You're the one who looks wonderful."

"I feel like a dead-weight," she muttered, putting on a jeweled bracelet, earrings and necklace. She picked up her mask and tied it on. "Well, how do I look?"

"Like an angel sent from heaven, destined to love me," he teased. "Are we ready?"

"As much as we'll ever be," she replied, standing up, and staggering underneath the weight of her twelve petticoats, hoop skirt, underskirt, and overskirt.

"Happy birthday, dear Chakotay, happy birthday to you," the crowd sang. B'Elanna, in her ritual Klingon costume, complete with mask, cried, "Now make a wish and blow out the candles!"

Chakotay looked up from the cake and at Kathryn. He grinned then blew out all of the candles in one mighty huff of wind. "Now, who wants cake?" he asked, cutting the cake into slices.

As soon as it was sliced, the cake had completely vanished, consumed by the mob. Fortunately, Chakotay had managed to grab two slices, which he brought over to Kathryn.

"Thank you," she whispered tenderly as he handed her one slice.

He watched as she took a bite and savored the cake. She made even the simplest action into an erotic gesture, even unconsciously.

"Mmmmm... This is good," she mumbled, taking another bite. "It tastes kind of like that pumpkin cake we had last night."

Blushing from the memories of that very cake, he returned his attention to the slice of cake in his hand. He took a hesitant bite, almost expecting to go into immediate shock. But he was pleasantly surprised.

The cake did indeed remind him of the pumpkin cake but with a nuttier flavor. "It is good," he agreed.

Edward, dressed in an old-fashioned opera costume, came over to the couple. "SO, how is my favorite couple today?"

He said it loudly enough that Kathryn hissed, "Daddy!"

"Sorry," he replied with a shrug.

"We're fine," Chakotay said, putting his arm around Kathryn's waist protectively.

SOMEONE had already leaked the news of their romantic relationship to the rest of the crew. The crew was, on the whole, accepting of the relationship, but the couple still wished that Edward would keep his nose in his own business and quit meddling in theirs.

Luckily, he hadn't yet leaked the news of the imminent arrival of a bundle of joy for them.

"How are you doing today, Kathryn?"

"Daddy!"

"What?"

"Don't you think that if I wasn't feeling well, I wouldn't be here?" she hissed.

"I'm just concerned for you and the baby," Edward said loudly.

The silence in the Holodeck was thick enough to be cut with a knife. Realizing that he shouldn't have said what he had, Edward hung his head.

Kathryn and Chakotay both uttered a "damn" as the faces in the crowd displayed utter shock.

Deciding that maybe they needed to plunge in head-first, Chakotay proclaimed, "We're pregnant."

There was another moment of complete silence before the crowd surged towards the couple to offer their congratulations.

So much for silence.

Chakotay unlaced the corset's laces, loosening them so that Kathryn could once again breathe normally. He loosened the braided coils of hair at the nape of her neck and breathed in the scent of it. It smelled of apple blossoms and lilac blooms, and he just wanted to lose himself in the smell, in the silky strands of hair.

"I wonder if you love me just for my hair," Kathryn quipped, tracing his tattoo.

"It doesn't hurt," he replied with a grin. She slapped at his roving hands, but to no avail.

"I like the way you obsess over it," she said.

They were pitiful--Chakotay obsessing over Kathryn's hair; Kathryn obsessing over her lover's tattoo.

It's always the little quirks that make life, and a relationship as well, interesting and special.

"You won't believe this, but I actually forgot your birthday present," Kathryn murmured softly, sounding incredibly guilty.

"I don't need a gift from you, Kathryn," he said. Intensely serious, he finished, "You and the baby are all the gift I need."

He leaned down to kiss her, and she received his kiss eagerly, responding with all of the love and passion that she could muster, which was all of her spirit.

Kathryn nodded at the security officer on duty in the brig. He nodded in return, grasping the handle of his phaser. His assignment was to protect the Captain as she made her first, and only, visit to Tighe's cell. Hopefully, he wouldn't have to use the weapon.

She made her way to the forcefield. "Hello, Lieutenant," she said icily, stressing the three syllables of his rank with much deliberation.

Justin nodded curtly. "Captain. It's so nice that you decided to drop by." His voice dripped venom and sarcasm.

"I have come to give you your new assignment," she said. "Come tomorrow, you will be escorted from the brig by an entire security detail. The day after tomorrow, you will begin waste maintenance detail, and at least two security officers will be with you at all times. They will not hesitate to harm you if you are not performing your duties to the letter. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

Her gaze was rock-hard. "Mister Tighe, if you come near Chakotay or I again, I will not hesitate to kill you."

Justin stormed towards the forcefield. The security officer bounded out from behind the console, phaser drawn and set on maximum stun.

Kathryn took two steps backwards. "Do you have something to say?"

"Dammit, Kathryn, I love you! Why the hell are you pushing me away?" Justin demanded angrily.

"I am not about to explain my life or my reasoning to you, Lieutenant," she cried, temper flaring, instincts on full.

She was going to kill him if he said anything more.

Realizing that, she stormed from the brig, lest she hurt someone, least of all herself and the baby.

The boat drifted lazily among the reeds near the riverbank. Kathryn dropped her hand, letting her fingers trail in the cool water as Chakotay paddled the boat.

"He said that he loved me," Kathryn said, near tears. She fingered the reeds as they glided by. "I don't know what to do, Chakotay."

Chakotay dug the paddle into the water, propelling them forward. "Tell him that it's over between you two. It's the truth isn't it?"

"Of course it is," Kathryn replied, plucking one of the cattails, and clutching it. "But it seems so harsh to do it that way."

"Do you want him off your case or not?" he asked, leaving his post and joining her on the seat. She nodded, playing with the reed. "Then you need to do it however it will work. Bluntly and harshly may be the only way."

"You're right, as always," she admitted, handing him the reed. "I'm going to paddle," she said rising. "Doc said that exercise, as long as I don't overexert myself, is good for the baby."

"I know an even better way of exercising," Chakotay said with a wink, reaching for her.

"Not now," she said, losing her balance.

One second, she was in the boat and the next, she was underwater, floating back towards the surface.

When she breached the surface, she blinked, clearing water from her eyes. Chakotay was nowhere in sight, she realized, and the boat had capsized.

Frantically treading water, she began to look for him. When she was almost resolved to end the program, something tugged at her ankle, dragging her back under.

She came up, spluttering and gasping for air... and in Chakotay's arms. Reacting quickly, she grabbed him and kissed him, till neither of them could breathe.

"Don't ever do that to me again," she ordered, feeling his lips cut off the rest of the statement.

"I won't," he murmured pulling away. "And I did tell you that there was a better way to exercise..."

This time, it was her lips that clamped the words short.

Kathryn felt Chakotay' lips briefly pause upon her abdomen. It was his way of blessing their child, assuring it of their love, and at the same time, giving Kathryn a reason to become aroused again. But she was too weary to even want to THINK about making love.

Chakotay wasn't really up to lovemaking either. They had wasted all of that energy earlier, making love on the shore in the Holodeck.

They snuggled together, perfectly spooned together. "Let's talk names..." Chakotay said in a whisper. "I like Kathryn."

"No. I am not going to have one or ANY of our children named after me," she insisted. "I've always like Victoria."

"Would you really name our child after a fat, long-dead monarch?" he asked, indignant.

"No," she giggled. "How about Isabella?"

"Isabelle."

"Alright, Isabelle. Isabelle what?"

"Kathryn," he mumbled sleepily.

"What?"

"No--Isabelle Kathryn."

"And if it's a boy?"

"Richard Andrew," he said haltingly, unsure how she would take it.

"I love it," she replied with a smile.

Justin looked at the mess of waste that greeted him on his first day of maintenance duty. He looked into one of the plastic barrels, and a mass of plant waste, obviously from last night's dinner, judging by the smell, greeted him. He gagged and closed the can again. "I have to clean these?" he asked one of the three guards.

"Yup."

"Yuck! What is this crap?" Justin cried, throwing open another barrel.

"Fermented leyola root," one of the other guards replied with a smirk. "And yes, you do have to clean them out and recycle the plant waste."

"I have to touch this?"

The third guard nodded. "The Captain says that you do. So, yes, you have to touch it."

Justin gulped. "Well, I guess I'd best start now," He inhaled a deep breath and threw off a lid.

The stench was putrid! From out of nowhere, the guards produced three gas masks. They were prepared.

Justin gagged again. "How long do I have to do this?"

The smirking guard said, For as long as the Captain says."

Kathryn sank the last ball in the corner pocket. Paris groaned and gave his cue to Chakotay. "You try to beat her," he begged.

Chakotay accepted the cue and grinned. "I'm upping the stakes," he said with an evil glint in his eyes.

Kathryn grinned right back. "Name your terms."

"If I win, you have to marry me."

"And if I win?"

"I get to be your slave for life."

The assembled crowd, Kathryn and Chakotay included began to laugh. Those were the strangest stakes they'd ever heard of!

"You're on," Kathryn said.

Chakotay sank the last ball with a shout of triumph. He had just won... against Kathryn Janeway, world-class pool champion!

She had already put her cue back on the rack. She'd lost.

At least the window that had opened to her by her loss was a good one. She'd marry Chakotay.

He quickly placed his cue back on the rack and came over. As he walked, he fished around in the pocket of his civvies. He came out with something that glittered in the dim light inside Sandrine's.

He kneeled upon one knee and took both of Kathryn's hands in his own. Then remembering the ring in his right hand, he released her left hand to hold up the ring.

"Captain Kathryn Janeway, I love you with all of my heart. I would be honored beyond compare if you would marry me," he said softly, eyes glued to her face, to her eyes.

Without any thought to the crowd around them, without a thought about the crew, she answered, "Chakotay, I'd be delighted to!" Only their happiness mattered right then.

Chakotay slipped the ring onto her finger and stood up. "I love you, Kathryn," he whispered, gently stroking her cheek.

"And I love you, too, Chakotay," she answered, pulling him into a passionate kiss.

Too entranced with the happy couple, no one noticed that Justin and his escorts had just come onto the Holodeck.

With one glance at the couple, he stormed out of the room, his unhappy guards trailing behind him. As he stalked back to his quarters, he promised himself that Kathryn would never marry Chakotay.

No matter what.

"What do you think of this one?" Kathryn asked her fiancé. She pointed to one of the dress designs on the computer console.

"Will you be able to wear it?" he asked, noting her now more than ample figure.

"Probably not," she sighed. "How about this one?" she asked, indicating an Empire-waisted dress. "I could probably fit this one."

"And I like it," he said, kissing her gently on the cheek. Suddenly turning pensive, he murmured, "It's hard to believe that in a few hours, we'll be husband and wife."

"Yes, it is," she replied. "But it must have been in the stars for both of us."

The door chimed once before Edward stormed in. "That stupid cook of yours wouldn't know chocolate cake if it bit him!"

"Why don't you just make it yourself, Daddy?" Kathryn asked, inputting her measurements into the computer.

"Because he threw me out of the galley!" He came over and glanced at the designs displayed on the console. "You know, this one looks like the one your mother wore when we got married," he said thoughtfully, momentarily forgetting about the cake.

The replicator replicated the dress and Kathryn drew it close. "I'm going to try it on," she proclaimed before practically bouncing into the bathroom.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Edward said, "Some of the crew and I were thinking about giving you a bachelor party. It is a tradition, you know..."

"I'm not usually one to follow tradition," Chakotay said, running his fingers through his hair. It was tempting, but he wanted to stay with Kathryn.

Something told him that he had to stay with her, and he wasn't going to go against his instincts.

There was a loud thud from the bathroom. Chakotay bounded towards the door, and upon opening it, found Kathryn unconscious on the floor in her wedding gown. "Chakotay to Sickbay. Medical emergency in our quarters!"

He felt for a pulse. It was there--but very weak. "Kathryn, love, wake up," he insisted as the medical team raced in. Chakotay reluctantly left her, his face a mask of pain.

"She has been poisoned," the Doctor said. "The level of poison is almost enough to kill her. However..."

"It's touch and go?" Edward asked. The Doctor nodded.

Chakotay, near tears, asked, "What about the baby?"

Sadly, the Doctor said, "The child absorbed the poison through the umbilical cord. It unfortunately did not survive."

Chakotay clenched his jaw in an attempt to control himself. "Who would do this?" he asked no one in particular.

Justin looked at the announcement on the monitor. The poison that he'd meant for Chakotay was killing Kathryn instead.

He had to be with her.

His phaser was brought out of its case and placed against his temple.

Now he would have her forever.

Satisfied, he fired.

"Tuvok to Chakotay."

Chakotay pulled out of his grief long enough to answer, "Yes?"

"We have discovered the person responsible for the Captain's poisoning. Unfortunately, he committed suicide."

"Who?"

"Lieutenant Tighe."

"Arrange a funeral for the son of a bitch," Chakotay ordered, feeling secure that if Kathryn was in his shoes, she would do the same.

"Aye, Commander. Tuvok out."

Chakotay grasped Kathryn's hand and kissed it. "Come back to me, love. Come back to me," he whispered, choking on his tears.

She was on a precipice, overlooking the sea. She was growing weaker, could hardly stay in control of herself.

How easy it would be to jump and end it all right there. But some part of her held onto life with a tenacious death grip.

Her spirit guide appeared by her feet. "You have a difficult choice, my child. If you plunge from the cliff you will die."

"I can't hold out much longer," she said sadly.

Her guide flicked its tongue. "It is your choice. Choose well."

She looked down the cliff face-- it was so far to fall. "I'll try to hold on," she said, turning back to face her guide.

The gecko had vanished.

Her skin was still warm as Chakotay held her. His daughter--killed by a man that should have been dead long ago.

Her skin was like fine porcelain, and her eyes were rimmed with long lashes. He did not want to see her eyes.

She was small--about six weeks premature. And what hair she had was like spun gold. So beautiful.

"Put her body in stasis," he ordered the Doctor before beginning his vigil over Kathryn again.

She had shown small signs of improvement--her pulse was entering normal levels. Her breathing was normal. And nearly all of the poison had circulated out of her body.

"Come back, love," he said, stroking her forehead.

"Commander," the Doctor said, coming alongside him, "you need to rest."

He shook his head. "I can't leave Kathryn."

"I am not asking you to leave her, Commander. Just rest." He offered him a pillow and a blanket and Chakotay took them gratefully.

He laid the pillow by Kathryn's side and wound the blanket around himself, then lay down. An exhausted slumber washed over him almost immediately.

Warmth. Light. Touch. Sensation.

Kathryn blinked groggily as she woke up. She felt disoriented and ill. She moaned and covered her eyes.

Something was wrong. Something was missing.

In that instant, she knew that the baby was dead. It was why she felt so incomplete. She began to weep noisily, attracting the Doctor and Chakotay.

Chakotay held her tightly, and began to cry himself, releasing all of his pain and joy in one gesture.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife," Edward proclaimed. "You may now kiss the bride."

Chakotay lifted Kathryn's veil and brought his lips to hers in an expression of every emotion that he was feeling, and had ever felt.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you, too," she answered.

As they walked back down the makeshift aisle, they began a new chapter in their life.

Together forever.

*~*~*~*

Fin   

*~*~*~*