Author's Notes: The song quoted here is called "Dance Away the Blues" written by Chris Eaton and sung by Sheena Easton. The quote Kathryn uses at the end is from Peter Pan
By H. Arla Jack
Kathryn Janeway sighed tiredly as she stepped off the turbolift and headed for her quarters. For some reason she could not really explain a terrible melancholy had settled upon her the last few days. It had taken all the will power she could muster just to get out of bed that morning. In the whole of her Starfleet career, with the exception of those dreadful months after her father and Justin had died it had never before happened. There had never been a time when Kathryn hadn't cared about her ship or crew. The last couple of days, however, she could have cared less. Voyager could have gone up like a supernova and it wouldn't have mattered. This worried Kathryn.
Perhaps I should speak with the doctor, she thought as she entered her cabin and called up the lights. Apathetically, Kathryn began stripping off her uniform as she moved to the bedroom, dropping each piece to the floor as she walked and headed for the shower.
As she stood under the hot spray of water Kathryn mused over why she felt as she did.
Kathryn Janeway had a very strong psych profile. All Starfleet Captains did. It was one of the requirements for a Captaincy. Captains had to be able to handle any and all situations and not buckle under the pressure. They were trained to never lose control.
Perhaps that was part or all of the problem. Starfleet psychiatrists had never tested candidates under the conditions that Kathryn found herself in. Cut off totally from family and the Federation. She had stayed in control and been the Captain 24 hours a day, every day for four years. She had never relaxed her guard, never let go of that control and so she had never truly been herself. One could not live under those conditions for very long without something giving. Kathryn had to find a solution before the situation got any worse.
Stepping from the shower Kathryn toweled herself dry and moved into the bedroom. She crossed to the dresser and opened the lingerie drawer. She searched through the underwear and indulged herself by choosing a bra and panty set that was lacy and daring.
Moving to the closet she chose an emerald green silk dress. The cut of the dress was simple and it wasn't very fancy but it was one of her favorites. The sleeves were long and it had a sweetheart neckline. The skirt was full and fell in soft folds to a point just above her ankles.
Kathryn slipped her feet into a pair of flat shoes then she left her quarters and headed for the Holodeck.
Kathryn moved to the control panel just outside the doors to Holodeck 2. The panel showed that the Holodeck was not occupied at the moment. "Program please?" the computer asked politely as Kathryn turned on the panel.
Janeway paused. She had been about to activate her Master Davinci program but just now decided that she didn't even feel up to the Maestro's company this evening. Several minutes later Kathryn finished entering the parameters of her program.
"Program complete. You may enter when ready." the computer stated.
Kathryn crossed to the doors and they opened for her. She stepped over the threshold and into the large room. The Holodeck doors closed behind her as Kathryn surveyed the room she had known very well as a child. It was the family room at her grandmother's house. Nana Janeway had lived all her adult life in the huge sprawling house that had belonged to the Janeway's for generations.
One wall contained a large span of bookcases that stretched ceiling to floor. A ladder was attached to the very top and could be moved along the track to allow a searcher access to the top most shelves. To her right, in the corner of the room sat an antique pool table. Kathryn smiled softly. It had been on that table that her grandmother had taught her to play. A large stone fireplace dominated the wall directly in front of her and a cheery fire was blazing. Despite the size of the room it had a cozy, intimate feeling about it. In the center of the room two large couches faced each other and there was a glass coffee table nestled between them. Three large wing-backed chairs sat in front of the fireplace.
The area just in front of the French doors leading to the stone balcony was unadorned save the large tapestry rug on the floor and two wrought iron candle stands on either side of the doors. The candle stands each contained four lit pillar candles.
Kathryn crossed the room to a credenza. From it she took a crystal wine glass and a bottle of wine. Pouring herself a glass she moved to the stereo unit in the corner which was hooked up to four large speakers, one in each corner of the room. She chose a music disc and slipped it into the player. As the music began Kathryn turned the lights down until only the glow of the fire and the candles filled the room. She closed her eyes and listened to the music. Slowly she began to sway in time with the beat.
I turn the lights down low
Imagine I'm with you
And dance away the blues
I find and old love song
I play it all night long
And think of you
As I dance away the blues
The singer's hauntingly beautiful voice and the sadness of the song touched Kathryn. The words seemed to be speaking directly to her. Those were her thoughts and emotions the woman was singing. The laughing dark eyes of her First Officer swam before her.
Understanding love is tough Never being loved enough Living with myself Living on my shelf Only you can break this spell
Tears ran down Kathryn's cheeks as she gave herself over to the music and began to dance.
Chakotay moved down the corridor with a worried frown on his handsome face. Kathryn had not been herself the last couple of days, in fact, she had been so unlike her usual self that he was very concerned for her. Stopping outside Kathryn's quarters he pressed the door chime and waited for permission to enter. It did not come. He tried again and seconds later there still was not reply. "Computer, emergency override. First Officer's command. Chakotay Beta 3598. Open the door please."
The door slid open at his command and he stepped into the cabin. As the door slid closed behind him Chakotay's worry increased. Kathryn was never careless or sloppy and yet her discarded clothing lay in a trail from the door through to the bedroom.
"Kathryn?!" He called out and bent to pick up her boots then followed the trail of clothing, picking up each item as he walked. He finished with the towel that lay on the floor just inside the bathroom door. Chakotay placed the discarded clothes in the laundry hamper.
"Computer, location of Captain Janeway."
"Captain Janeway is on Holodeck 2."
"Has the privacy lock been engaged?"
"Negative."
Chakotay strode quickly from Kathryn's cabin and down the corridor to his quarters next door. Moving to the bedroom he changed from his uniform and into off duty clothes. He knew Kathryn well enough to know that right now she needed him as her friend not her First Officer.
Several minutes later Chakotay approached the Holodeck. He opened the door and stepped inside. The doors closed quickly behind him, shutting out the ship outside. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the dimness of the room. Music, the soft bittersweet notes of a love song seemed to be coming from every direction.
Once his eyes adjusted, Chakotay saw Kathryn bathed in the glow of the fireplace. She was dancing slowing in time with the music.
I turn the lights down low Imagine I'm with you
And dance away the blues
I find an old love song
I play it all night long
And think of you
As I dance away the blues
Quietly Chakotay moved across the room. As he neared, he saw that Kathryn's eyes were closed and her cheeks were wet with tears.
"Kathryn." He said quietly.
She opened her eyes. "Chakotay." she gasped softly.
What was that I heard you say
Are you coming back to stay
You can still be mine
Thru this tender night
Help me keep our love alive
Chakotay held out his hand to her. Kathryn took it and let herself be pulled into his embrace. She settled her head on his shoulder and they began to dance.
I turn the lights down low
Move in close to you
And we'll dance away the blues
Oh Oh baby I find an old love song
We'll play it all night long
And start anew
As we dance away the blues
As we dance away the blues
As we dance away
The music trailed off and Chakotay pulled back so he could look down into Kathryn's eyes. He raised his hand and with his thumb, tenderly brushed the tears from her cheeks. "What is it Kathryn?" he asked softly "Tell me what's wrong."
"I'm tired Chakotay, so very tired." she whispered and buried her head once again in the crook of his neck and shoulder. "I can't do this anymore." she murmured against his shirt. "I've been Captain Janeway, day in and day out for four years and I can't do it anymore. You know, I don't even know who Kathryn is anymore."
"I know who Kathryn is." he whispered into her hair. "Do you want me to tell you?" he asked and felt her answering nod.
"Well she's a good friend and a hell of a pool player. She's witty, charming and graceful. Has one hell of a temper and a mischievous side. She also cares very much for her crew and puts their needs above even her own. She's also..."
"Yes?" she asked quietly urging him to finish his sentence.
"A very beautiful and incredibly sexy woman."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome." he whispered. Cupping her face with his hands Chakotay tilted her head back so that he could look at her. "You don't have to be the Captain all the time Kathryn. The crew doesn't expect it of you, you know. You worry so much about the welfare of the crew that you don't take time out for yourself. You have to think of yourself every now and then."
"I know. It's just I've been doing this for so long that I'm not sure I know how to separate the Captain from Kathryn anymore."
"Well, I'll make you a deal." he smiled down at her. "If I see that you're not giving Kathryn sufficient play-time I'll let you know."
Kathryn chuckled. "Alright."
"Good, now tell me what else I can do for you?"
"Just stay and hold me. Dance with me." she said quietly.
Chakotay smiled and nodded. He pressed his lips to her forehead and as the stereo began to play another love song he pulled Kathryn close and they began to dance.
It was quite some time and several songs later when Chakotay asked. "Are you feeling better?"
"Yes."
"Good." He pulled back a little "I have and idea."
"What?"
"My grandmother's cure-all for the blues."
"And what is that?"
"First." he said looking around. "I need to make a small change. What's your password?"
"Why?"
"Just trust me."
"It's Goldenbird."
Chakotay gave her a quizzical look. "It was my father's nickname for me."
"It suits you." Chakotay said softly and moved to where he knew the door would be. "Computer, display arch." Several minutes later he was done. "Computer run program with new parameters."
Kathryn turned her head when she heard the sound of rain falling softly on the balcony. Chakotay crossed to the doors and opened them. He then turned back and held out his hand to Kathryn. "Follow me."
"Out in the rain?"
"Um hmm. Grandmother Leelannee's cure-all; dancing in the rain."
Kathryn smiled "You're crazy, you know that?"
"Don't knock it until you've tried it. Come on Kat trust me."
Kathryn flushed at the shortened form of her name and the intimacy it implied. He'd never called her that before and she was surprised to find she liked it. She crossed to his side and slipped her hand into his. "I do trust you." she said quietly.
With a gentle tug on her hand Chakotay led her outside into the rain. It was warm and fell gently upon them. The music from inside blended harmoniously with the soft gentle music of falling rain as once more they began to dance.
"I'm soaked!" Kathryn laughed as she stepped in from the balcony.
"But tell the truth. You feel better, don't you?" Chakotay asked as he followed her inside.
"Yes I do." she smiled.
"Grandmother's cure-all works every time." Chakotay replied as he tried not to notice how the wet silk of her dress clung in all the right places. Chakotay pulled his eyes from her and crossed to where a stack of towels sat on the long table behind the sofa. He returned and passed one to Kathryn.
"You thought of everything." she smiled as she took the large towel from him.
"Yes, I even added a change of clothes. They should be here somewhere."
"There." Kathryn said and pointed to the clothes folded neatly on the corner of the pool table. Moving to the table she picked up the pile that were obviously meant for her. "Excuse me." she said and moved to a door behind the pool table. It led to a small bathroom.
Once the door had closed behind her, Chakotay picked up his own clothes. He moved to the fireplace. Stripping off his wet clothes he dried off and then pulled on the clean clothes. Once dressed he took the wet clothes and draped them over the fireplace screen to dry.
Kathryn stepped from the bathroom several minutes later. Chakotay turned and smiled at the clothes the computer had chosen for her; black tights and a long pale lavender blouse. As Kathryn neared Chakotay smiled and asked. "So, tell me about this place?"
"It is my grandmother's house." Kathryn smiled. "This house has been in my family for nearly six generations. Nana planted the magnolia and wisteria trees below the balcony when she came here after marrying my grandfather. And it was she who taught me to play pool on that table over there." Kathryn pointed with a smile.
"Your grandmother taught you to play?"
"Um hmm."
"She must have been good."
"She was, very good."
"What was she like?"
"Nana? Well she was strong and willful and very stubborn." Kathryn chuckled. "Once she made up her mind about something there was no changing it. She was very forthright and spoke her mind."
"Sounds like someone else I know." Chakotay replied with a smile. "I would have liked to have met her."
"I wish you could have met her too." Kathryn said and then paused.
"What?"
"Maybe you can. Computer, open program parameters file. Authorization Goldenbird."
"File open."
Kathryn began to tell the computer to access and download her grandmother's journals, family diaries, photos and other pertinent facts.
"Download complete."
"Computer, compile data and create a holographic representation."
"Done." the computer replied after a moment.
"Display."
Kathryn turned around as the hologram appeared behind her. Chakotay smiled. The woman appeared to be in her middle to late seventies. Her once auburn hair was mostly grey and brilliant blue eyes twinkled merrily. Chakotay could see that it was from this woman that Kathryn had inherited her delicate features.
"Computer run program." Kathryn said softly and the image came to life.
Upon seeing Kathryn the woman smiled. "Katiebug!" she called out and held out her arms.
"Nana!" Kathryn gasped and ran to her.
"My sweet Katiebug, it's been so long." her grandmother whispered and pulled her granddaughter into a tight hug. After a long moment the older woman pulled away. "Let me look at you. My, you're a grown woman now. The last time I saw you, you were just a young girl. " Nana smiled "You look like I did as a young woman." Nana frowned. "But how is this possible, I passed on long ago."
"Yes." Kathryn replied wiping her tears away with the back of her hand. "I used your diaries to create a holographic image of you."
"That explains it." Nana smiled. "You must tell me what has happened. How is Edward?"
"Daddy passed away several years ago." Kathryn replied softly.
"I'm sorry my girl. I know how close you were. Your mother and sister, how are they?"
"I don't know. I'm a very long way from home Nana. I haven't seen them in over four years."
"Tell me."
Kathryn told her grandmother all the events that had led to her ship being stranded 70 years from home.
"Well, if anyone can get this ship home it's you Katiebug."
"I know."
"And who is this?" Nana asked seeing Chakotay standing quietly behind Kathryn.
"This is Chakotay." Kathryn smiled and held her hand out to him. "He's my First Officer." Kathryn added as she drew him forward.
"These old eyes tell me he's more than that." Nana said quietly.
Kathryn blushed. "Chakotay this is my nana. Leiryn Marie Janeway."
"I'm very pleased to meet you." Chakotay smiled and held out his hand to the woman. Kathryn's grandmother took it and pulled him closer. She looked him directly in the eyes.
"Now, tell me the truth young man." she said quietly. "Do you love my Katiebug?"
"Nana!" Kathryn replied in a shocked whisper.
Chakotay looked back at Kathryn and then turned back and looked her grandmother in the eyes. "Yes ma'am I do. Very much."
"Good." Nana smiled. "Your eyes tell me that you are a good man." Nana added softly. "And my Katiebug needs someone like you to stand by her and to take care of her. Promise me that you will always love her and always take care if her."
"You have my word." Chakotay replied quietly.
Nana nodded. "Well then come and sit with me." the old woman said as she took them by the arms and led them to the sofa. "Tell me what has happened."
It was a long time later when Nana got up from the sofa "Well it's late and these old bones heed their rest." Leiryn leaned down and pressed a kiss to her granddaughter's forehead. "Goodnight Katiebug."
"Good night Nana." Kathryn replied softly.
Leiryn then turned to Chakotay. "Good night Chakotay." she smiled at him.
"Good night." he replied.
Nana moved across the room. "Oh," she said as she turned back to face the couple on the sofa.
"Don't be shy on my account. If you two feel like getting up to some mischief tonight then go ahead. In fact I'd recommend it but try and keep the noise level down okay." She added with a mischievous grin.
"GRANDMOTHER!!" Kathryn gasped, completely scandalized.
Leiryn laughed. "Katie Marie don't be such a prude!" Nana chastised lovingly. "Have fun children." she finished and left the room.
Kathryn turned to look at Chakotay when his deep throaty laughter sounded beside her.
"Oh, she's wonderful." he chuckled.
"She is isn't she." Kathryn replied with a grin.
"She reminds me so much of my own grandmother."
"Your grandmother Leelannee?"
"Yes." Chakotay smiled. "Someday I'll introduce you." he added softly.
"I'd like that."
"Well," Chakotay said and stood up. He held his hand out to her. "How about showing me the rest of this house."
"Alright." Kathryn replied and slipped her hand into his. Chakotay pulled her to her feet and she led him through the rooms on the main floor.
Several minutes later she led him up the staircase to the upper floor. "These are mostly bedrooms and there's a small sitting room at the end of the hall."
Kathryn led him to a door near the center of the corridor. She opened the door and turned on the light. "This is the nursery. My sister and I spent many wonderful hours here as girls. That was my bed." She said pointing to the bed under the window. "I used to sit there so many nights and look up at the stars.
Oh..." Kathryn gasped as she spotted something on the pillows. She crossed to the bed and picked up a battered teddy bear. "So that's where you got to." she said quietly then turned and held the bear up. "This is Scruffy Bear. He was my very first friend."
"He looks a little worse for wear." Chakotay smiled. The bear was missing an eye and his nose and there was some stuffing poking out of the shoulder seam.
"Well this old man has been through quite a lot." Kathryn smiled. "He made me feel safe when I was scared and chased away the monsters. He dried my tears and happily listened to all my hopes and dreams." she said quietly before setting the bear back on the pillow.
Chakotay followed Kathryn out of the room closing the door behind him. She moved to a door across the hall. "This is the master bedroom." she said as she called up the lights. "After granddad died Nana moved to one of the smaller rooms. She said that this room was too big and lonely without him. Mom and Daddy used it after that whenever we visited Nana."
Chakotay whistled softly. The room was huge. The wall directly opposite the door were glass paneled doors leading to the balcony. The doors stood open and the warm evening breeze filled the room with the smell of magnolia and wisteria. There was a large canopied four-poster bed with deep green velvet curtains. The curtains were tied back with a gold cord. A mirrored vanity table sat on the wall to the right of the door and a tall armoire rested on the wall to the left. A long dresser was on the wall across from the foot of the bed and pushed up against the mahogany footboard was a large cedar chest.
"The master bath is through here." Kathryn said and led him to the door next to the bed. It stood open and the light came on as they stepped through. "Phoebe and I always wanted to take our baths in here." Kathryn smiled. "It seemed way more fun than the bathroom off the nursery."
"I can see why." Chakotay replied. "You could fit ten people into that tub!"
"I know. It's huge isn't it and there's a sauna through that door there." Kathryn said pointing to the door next to the glass door shower.
"It's a wonderful house." Chakotay commented quietly.
"Yes it is." Kathryn stated and stepped from the bathroom. She crossed to the balcony and stepped outside. "I loved this house. I was so happy here."
"Does your family still have it?" Chakotay asked as he stopped beside her.
"Yes. My uncle David and his family live there, or at least they did." she said quietly.
After a moment she spoke again. "Chakotay may I ask you something?"
"Of course."
Kathryn turned her eyes away and looked out across the lawn. "Did you mean what you said earlier?"
"You mean when your grandmother asked me if I was in love with you?"
"Yes." Kathryn said quietly and turned her head to look at him.
"Yes Kat I meant every word." he said softly and closed the distance between them. Reaching out he pulled her close. "I have loved you from the first moment I saw you on my little view screen and I will love you until I take my last breath and I will love you even beyond that. My people have a saying. It is believed that when we are born the soul we are given splits and half is given to someone else. One of our life quests is to search for that other half of our soul. Many go through their lives and do not find this other half. They settle for less than their soul mate and are incomplete. The souls that are said to be truly blessed are those who find the missing half of their souls and are complete. I am such a soul for I have found my missing half. I am now complete." he said softly.
Kathryn reached out and tenderly traced the lines of his tattoo as tears rolled down her cheeks. "I can no longer deny my feelings." she whispered. "I love you, more than I thought possible. It no longer matters as much whether we make it back to the Alpha Quadrant for with you I've finally come home."
"At last." Chakotay whispered.
"Computer," Kathryn said quietly "Engage privacy lock authorization Goldenbird."
"Privacy lock engaged."
"Good idea." Chakotay smiled then he reached out and pulled the woman closer. His hands threaded through the thick, heavy curtain of her hair, drawing her mouth to his. His lips skimmed butterfly light across hers, teasing. He chuckled when Kathryn gave a low frustrated moan and her hands cupped the back of his head and pulled his mouth tightly to hers. His mouth roamed her lips savoring the flavor that was uniquely hers. His tongue traced the seam of her lips and she parted her lips as he deepened the kiss. The passion and hunger of their kiss rocked Kathryn to her toes. Never before had she felt such overpowering feelings. They were seductive and intoxicating.
I've finally come home. she thought with the one lucid part of her mind and then gave herself up totally to her feelings.
Their kisses and caresses grew in intensity as they made their way to the bed. Kathryn pulled from his embrace long enough to pull back the covers and slip between the cool sheets. She held out her arms in invitation. Chakotay moved into her arms and pulled the length of her slender body tightly against him, so tight that he could feel the wild beating of her heart against his own. And he was not surprised to find that its tempo matched the beat of his own.
Chakotay looked down into Kathryn's smokey sapphire eyes, tracing the delicate contours of her face and brushed back the heavy curtain of her hair. "I love you Kat." he whispered softly lowering his lips to hers. No more words were necessary between them as their bodies met in mutual need.
The heady blend of wisteria and magnolia drifted in on the night's warm breeze and enclosed the couple in its intoxicating aura as they made love both fiery and gently tender.
The simulated sun was just beginning to rise as Kathryn sank with a delighted sigh into the hot lavender scented water. Leaning back she rested her head against the tub and closed her eyes. She shifted and winced as a twinge of pain shot through her left shoulder. Opening her eyes she looked down at the hours old tattoo. Kathryn smiled softly as she recalled Chakotay's reaction when she had told him that she wanted him to give her the mate to his tattoo. He had been very touched and after explaining to her the significance of her request he had gone and retrieved the supplies he had needed.
"Kathryn?" Chakotay's voice called quietly from the other room.
"In here."
Minutes later he strode through the bathroom door, magnificent and unashamedly naked.
"Join me?" she asked and held out her hand. Chakotay smiled and moved to the tub and slipped into the hot water. Sitting behind Kathryn he pulled her back against him. He pressed his lips to her temple.
"How's your shoulder?" he murmured into her hair.
"Still sore but it's not bad." she replied quietly and tilted her head back to rest it on his shoulder.
"You know, I hate to put a damper on this but we probably should be going?" Chakotay whispered.
"I know." Kathryn sighed, "It's just that it's been so long since I've felt so at peace and I don't want it to end."
"Neither do I, but you know we have too."
"Yes. Computer, time please?"
"The time is 0530 hours."
"We have two hours before we're due on the bridge." Chakotay stated.
"Mmm good." Kathryn replied and turned around so that she was facing him and pressed herself close. "We have plenty of time."
"Time for what?" Chakotay asked with a smile, although he had a very good idea what she meant.
Kathryn traced a fingernail along the curve of his jaw then leaned forward so that her lips were mere inches from his. "Ever since I grew up," she murmured, "I often wondered what it would be like to make love in this big tub."
"It would be a shame to let the opportunity pass." Chakotay replied softly.
"Indeed it would." Kathryn whispered against his lips. Chakotay pulled the woman more tightly against him and passion flared anew.
An hour later they stepped from the Holodeck and into the still quiet corridor outside. Kathryn sighed and looked back over her shoulder as the doors slid closed.
"We'll go back." Chakotay said quietly.
Kathryn nodded and they headed for their quarters. She stepped through the doors and paused in the doorway watching until Chakotay had disappeared into his quarters. She sighed and moved further into the cabin and headed for the bedroom to change for duty. Several minutes later she was finished. "Computer, time please."
"The time is 0700."
"Is Commander Chakotay in his quarters?"
"Affirmative."
Kathryn smiled and headed for the door but she stopped just before reaching it. At this time of the morning there would be too many crewmembers about. She smiled as a solution suddenly came to mind. She had forgotten about that particular aspect of the command quarters. Kathryn crossed to the wall next to the replicator. She pushed away the chair that sat against the wall. Examining the wall carefully she found the opening mechanism to the hidden door that linked the two sitting rooms. She pressed it and the door slid open with a soft hiss. Another door closed off Chakotay's quarters from her own. Kathryn hoped he didn't have anything blocking the door on his side. Operating the second lock the door slid open. Kathryn stepped through the door and into Chakotay's quarters. He was sitting at his dining table with his back to her. Moving quietly she snuck up behind him. Leaning forward she wrapped her arms around his neck and nibbled playfully on his earlobe.
"Good morning." she whispered in his ear.
"Kathryn how did you get in here?" he asked surprised.
"Through there." she giggled and nodded her head to the doors behind her.
Chakotay turned his head to look and grinned. "Sneaky." he replied and got up to take the woman in his arms. "I didn't even know that was there."
"That's why I'm the Captain." Kathryn smiled and kissed him lightly. "I just wanted to say good morning." she said quietly.
"But we already said good morning, remember?" He grinned slyly.
"How could I forget." Kathryn laughed and leaned forward to kiss him again.
"I'll see you on the bridge." she said and moved to step from his embrace.
"Oh no Kat, you're not getting away that easily." Chakotay replied and pulled her back against him. Reaching up he popped open the barrette that held her hair away from her face. Her russet hair tumbled forward in a silken wave.
"Chakotay, I just...." she protested.
"You talk too much." he whispered and his mouth came down on hers, silencing any further words. He kissed her hungrily and was rewarded when she moaned softly.
"Tuvok to Captain Janeway."
"Uhn." Kathryn groaned and pulled her lips from Chakotay's. She stepped away from him and turned her back. "Janeway here. What is the problem Lieutenant?"
"No problem Captain. I have the security report you asked for and I thought you might wish to go over it. There are a few things I wish to discuss with you."
"Very well Lieutenant, I'm on my way." she finished and the channel closed. She turned back to Chakotay and he held out her barrette. She took it and smiled at him. "You're evil, you know that." she said shaking the barrette at him.
"I do try." Chakotay grinned.
Kathryn laughed lightly and quickly pulled back her hair, securing it once again with the barrette. Once done, she looked up into his dark eyes. "I've got to go. I'll see you on the bridge."
Chakotay nodded and she stepped away from him.
"Kat." he called softly and she turned back. "I love you." he added.
Kathryn smiled and stepped back to him. "I love you too." she whispered and kissed him lightly.
Chakotay watched until she had disappeared back into her quarters and the doors had closed behind her before he finished getting ready.
The door chimed loudly and Kathryn looked up from her work. "Come" she called and the door slid open. She smiled as Chakotay stepped into the ready room and strode up to her desk.
"Here's the report you wanted." he stated and held out the PADD.
"Mmm, thank you." she murmured as she took the PADD from him. "Was there anything else?" she asked with a smile.
"Yes, have you forgotten about Tom's party?"
"Oh hell, is that tonight?"
"It is." he replied with a smile.
"I had forgotten."
"So is the Captain going to grace us all with her presence tonight?"
"No." Kathryn said as she got up and moved around the desk. "But Kathryn will be there." she added with a smile as she stopped close to him.
"Good." Chakotay smiled and pulled her close. "You know, if we show up at this party together the crew are going to talk."
"So let them talk." Kathryn muttered. "Besides I'd rather they find out about us from us instead of spreading rumors or someone else learning the truth and telling everyone else."
"Me too. So may I escort you tonight Kat?" Chakotay asked gallantly.
"You may not. I will meet you there. You may escort me home, however." she offered.
"What are you up to?" Chakotay asked suspiciously.
"Nothing." Kathryn smiled. "I just plan on knocking a certain First Officer right on his ass." she quipped then gave him a quick kiss and stepped from his arms and headed for the door. His laughter followed her as she stepped out onto the bridge.
Kathryn smiled as she surveyed her appearance in the full-length mirror. The dress had cost her nearly two weeks worth of rations but it had been worth it. The rich shimmering red material clung suggestively to her slender figure, fitting like a second skin. The front of the gown was a plunging halter that revealed a good deal of cleavage and the long skirt was slit to mid thigh. The back of the gown was cut low so that the long smooth curve of her back was bare.
Kathryn had pulled her hair up and pinned it in a soft chignon, soft tendrils of russet hair framed her face. Around her neck she wore a simple heart-shaped locket that had been a gift from her father. With a satisfied nod Kathryn stepped away from the mirror and slipped her feet into a pair of heels that were the same shade as her gown. She crossed to the dresser and sprayed on some perfume before stepping from her cabin.
The corridors were empty as Kathryn made her way to the Holodeck. With the exception of a skeleton staff on the bridge and in engineering she knew that the entire crew would be at Tom's party. Kathryn paused outside the doors and took a deep breath before stepping through and into the simulated ballroom.
"Poor Chakotay." B'Elanna said quietly to Tom, Harry and Seven as they stood near the end of the bar. "I think he's hoping that the Captain will show tonight."
Seven looked over to where Chakotay stood near the door and watched as he kept glancing over his shoulder at the door behind him.
"Does she usually not come?" Seven asked.
"Not usually." Harry replied.
"Well that is her prerogative. Frankly I don't see the point to all this. It is frivolous." Seven stated.
"The point is to have some fun, relax and forget about our circumstances for awhile." Torres explained.
Tom looked away and towards the door just as Kathryn stepped inside. He choked on his drink. "Holy shit!" he coughed and sputtered.
"What?" B'Elanna questioned.
All Tom could do was point in the Captain's direction.
"Kahless!" Torres muttered and a grin spread across her face. Harry whistled and they all watched as Chakotay crossed over to meet her.
"Kat." he smiled and appreciatively took in her appearance. "You look fabulous." He said quietly and even in the dim light of the ballroom Kathryn could see the desire shining in his dark eyes.
"Thank you."
"Definitely knocked me on my ass." he quipped and was rewarded by hearing her delighted laughter.
"Good. Now Commander how about buying a lady a drink. I'm in a party mood."
"Your wish is my command." he replied.
"Really?" She stepped close to him and whispered. "Anything I wish?"
"Yes ma'am."
"I'm going to hold you to that promise Commander." she said and headed for the bar.
"Did that look like what I think it was?" Tom asked B'Elanna sotto voce.
"Yup, they were flirting with each other."
"Hmm, that bears further investigating."
"Leave them alone tonight, okay Flyboy." Torres said quietly.
"Good evening Doctor." Kathryn smiled to the hologram behind the bar.
"Good evening Captain, may I say that you look wonderful this evening."
"Thank you Doctor."
"What may I get for you."
"A glass of red wine please and he's buying." Kathryn smiled and pointed her finger to the man who had come up beside her.
"Very well, one red wine on the Commander's tab."
"Make it two Doctor." Chakotay added.
"Hey guys." Harry asked quietly as he sidled up to Tom and B'Elanna. "Is that what I think it is?" he finished and pointed to Kathryn.
"What?" Tom asked.
"Look closely on the Captain's left shoulder." he whispered.
"Well, I'll be damned." Tom grinned. "It's a tattoo, more importantly it's Chakotay's tattoo."
"What does this mean?" Seven asked innocently.
"Among Chakotay's people, " B'Elanna explained. "when a warrior takes a mate she is branded with the same mark he is given during his manhood ritual. In ancient times it was to show all others that she was his property and belonged to him. Obviously they no longer believe that but his people still carry on the tradition."
"So does this mean that they're..." Harry asked.
"Yes it does." B'Elanna smiled and then she turned to face Tom. She tapped a finger in the center of his chest. "And don't you be getting any ideas Helmboy!" she stated.
"What?"
"I don't want to hear about this in tomorrow's ship's pool. This is a private matter between Chakotay and the Captain. No bets, got it!" she growled.
"Ah sure, " Tom swallowed. "But B'Ela.."
"What?"
"According to my records, you won the betting pool."
"What pool?"
"The one that we started just a few months after you all came aboard. The one where we bet on how long it would take for the Captain and Chakotay to get together."
"But I was just joking!" she protested. "I never meant to win."
"Nevertheless, you guessed it. Down to the day if I remember correctly. So does this mean that you're buying me dinner?" Paris smiled.
Torres shushed him when she noticed the couple approaching their small group.
"Good evening everyone." Kathryn smiled as they approached the quartet.
"Hello Captain." B'Elanna smiled.
"Captain, you look absolutely stunning this evening." Paris complemented.
Before Kathryn could reply Chakotay slipped an arm around her waist and pulled her close to his side. "Back off Paris." Chakotay said playfully, in mock anger. "The lady's with me. Get your own date."
"Hey," Paris replied playing along with the game "I was merely giving her a complement. Geez, don't get so defensive, besides I do have a date." he quipped and pulled B'Elanna close to his side.
B'Elanna slapped Paris' shoulder and he released her. "Men." she grumbled.
Kathryn laughed and turned to face Harry and Seven.
"Good evening Harry."
"Hello Captain." Harry replied, returning her warm smile.
Kathryn turned to face Seven and smiled. "Good evening Seven."
"Captain." Seven nodded.
"Are you enjoying yourself?" Kathryn asked, taking a sip of her wine.
"Enjoyment is irrelevant. I am here because it was requested of me." she stated, in true borg-like fashion. "I still do not see the relevance of such an activity."
Kathryn chuckled, "Give yourself time and you will. The relevance is to have a good time and interact with others. To get to know them and to have fun. Humans are social creatures. We have an instinctive need to be together and to enjoy each other's company." Kathryn explained quietly.
Chakotay leaned over and spoke quietly in her ear. "Let's dance."
"Okay." she replied.
Chakotay took the wineglass from her and held them out. "Hold these Paris." He said and passed them to the pilot. He then took Kathryn's hand and led her out onto the dance floor.
The quartet watched with growing interest as Kathryn and Chakotay danced to a slow waltz. The waltz ended and the couple paused for a moment, speaking quietly to each other as they waited for the next song to start. Seconds later the music began again, this time it was a vibrant, pounding Latin beat.
"They make it look so easy." Harry commented as they watched the couple move through the intricate steps of the dance.
The music changed again, it still had the Latin beat but this time the music was sultry and sensuous.
"Shit!" Tom coughed as he watched Kathryn and Chakotay. The movements of the dance were so intimate and erotic that it seemed as they as though they were making love right there on the dance floor.
Chakotay smiled down into Kathryn's eyes. "I think we've given the crew suitable grist for the rumor mill." he whispered quietly. "What do you say we get out of here. The kind of dancing I have in mind can't be done in a room full of people."
Kathryn smiled and nodded. They stepped off the dance floor and slipped quietly from the Holodeck.
Several minutes later they stopped outside the door to Kathryn's quarters. No words were spoken between them as Chakotay leaned down to kiss her lightly and stepped away from her.
Kathryn smiled as she watched Chakotay disappear into his cabin. She stepped through the door into her own cabin. "Computer lights 1/4 illumination." she said and the lights came up to a soft glow. Kathryn headed to the bedroom but stopped and smiled when she heard the connecting door slide open. She turned just as Chakotay stepped through.
Chakotay crossed the room to her with quick, easy strides. He slipped his arms around the woman and pulled her close. Reaching up his fingers searched for the pins securing her hair. Taking the pins from her hair, he let the heavy tresses tumble down through his fingers.
"That's better." he smiled. "Now, where were we?" he asked softly as his fingers toyed with a strand of silken hair.
"You were about to make good on your promise." Kathryn replied in a low sultry whisper.
"And what promise was that?"
"Your promise to do anything that I wished." she said and ran a long manicured nail across his lips.
"What exactly is it that you want Captain?"
Kathryn smiled, it was a sultry, intimate smile and she leaned forward to whisper in his ear.
A lightning bolt of desire shot through him as her warm breath caressed his ear and the desire escalated as she told him exactly what she wanted.
"You're wicked!" he breathed huskily when she'd finished.
"I know." she replied desire turning her eyes to a deep smoky sapphire.
Chakotay's hand threaded through her thick russet hair and pulled her lips to his and kissed her forcefully. He pulled his lips from hers and looked down into her passion-flushed face. Then he kissed her again; deeply, thoroughly, erotically. They moved to the bedroom where Chakotay proceeded to fulfill Kathryn's every wish and more.
"I can't believe it, " B'Elanna muttered over her coffee cup. "I thought for sure they were together. The tattoo..."
"Well apparently not." Tom replied and pushed away his breakfast plate. "Even after that performance they gave last night. Ensign Ferris was headed back to her quarters last night at the same time they left. She happened to see them together. She told me that the Captain and Chakotay said good night at the Captain's door. He kissed her, but Sheila said it was pretty platonic."
"Platonic my aunt's batleth! " B'Elanna muttered. "I just doesn't make sense."
She paused a moment in thought. "Wait a minute." she added and fished her PADD from the pocket of her jacket. She fiddled with it for a moment. "Why that sly old Targ!" she smiled.
"What?"
"I'm not the Chief Engineer for nothing. These are the blueprints for the ship." Torres said as she pushed the PADD to the center of the table and pointed. "These are the specs for the command quarters. This is the Captain's cabin on the left and Chakotay's is next to hers on the right. See how they are opposite in design from each other. The sitting rooms butt up against the same wall."
"Yah, so?" Tom questioned.
B'Elanna gave Paris an I-can't-believe-you-can-be-so-dense look. "So... see this part here, right next to the replicator."
"Yah, it looks like some kind of break in the wall."
"It's a door. The command quarters have a connecting door between them."
"So that means...." Harry put in.
"They can go back and forth between each other's cabins without anyone seeing them." Tom finished and a grin spread across his face. "Well I'll be damned! Never would have guessed. I wonder how long this has been going on."
"It doesn't matter." Torres said quietly. "All that matters is that they are happy. This stays between us, okay Helmboy." she finished quietly.
"Sure." Tom agreed. "At least until they are ready to admit their relationship to the crew."
"I think they already did Paris." Harry said. " But I think what B'Elanna is saying is that it’s not up to us to let the crew in on this little fact. That's up to the Captain and Chakotay if they want to."
"I know. I won't say anything, I promise."
"Good." B'Elanna said, "Because if you do you'll be sleeping alone for the next light year. Understand me Paris?" Torres said with a mock growl and got up from the table.
"Loud and clear Lieutenant." Paris flashed her a smile. Torres nodded then turned and strode from the mess hall.
Paris strode onto the bridge and smiled at Chakotay as he passed and headed for his station. "Good morning sir."
"Morning Paris." Chakotay nodded and turned back to his console.
Minutes later the Captain strode in from her Ready Room. "Good morning everyone." She smiled and crossed to her seat.
"Good morning Commander." she added as she sat.
"Good morning Captain." Chakotay added with a secretive smile.
Paris grinned knowingly. At a casual glance it appeared as though nothing had changed between the two. To look at them one could not tell that they had spent the entire night making wild passionate love. There was no outward indication that their relationship had changed.
Paris turned to face the Captain. "Course Captain?" he asked.
"Second star to the right and straight on until morning, Lieutenant." Kathryn replied with a smile.
"Captain?" he asked with a puzzled frown.
Chakotay grinned. "I believe the Captain means, put us on a course for home Paris."
"Aye sir."
"Course laid in Captain."
"Warp six Mister Paris. " Kathryn ordered "Take us home."
"Yes Captain" Paris finished.
As Voyager continued her long journey towards what they had once known as home, Kathryn turned to look at the man sitting beside her. He felt her gaze and looked up, meeting her eyes. The message in his black eyes spoke volumes. No matter where they were and no matter how far they traveled he was already home.
She answered him with her eyes and turned back to face the viewscreen. As Chakotay had once told her "Home is wherever you happen to be." She had not believed him then but he had shown her otherwise. And now she knew with every fiber of her soul that home would always be found within the warm circle of his arms.
FIN :-)
Continue on to "Gemini" (sequel to "Dance Away the Blues")
