Disclaimer: What isn't owned by Paramount and Jeri Taylor (Mosaic) is a pitiful amount and I can't see either of them wanting it. 

Once again, no disrespect intended with native religion.  I am still learning.  Pronunciation of Cherin [Chair-in].

VOYAGER - THE 'LUCKY STAR' SHIP
Drift into Eternity
By Amanda Darling
adarling@geocities.com

Chakotay couldn't explain his feeling that it seemed terribly important to tie up all loose ends before they journeyed forth as Voyager's crew for the last time.  Starfleet had agreed on one more mission, one month, family permitted.  They had agreed to it because Beverly Picard had contacted an old friend, Deanna Troi, now one of the leading Federation psychologists, and asked her to come and present a report to Starfleet on why she felt the Voyager crew needed to remain together one last time.  So Troi had convinced them, arguing that it was still a shock being home, and that they deserved as much, to be granted that simple wish - she basically did such a good snowjob on them they didn't realize it was a snowjob.  So they had one last mission, with all their families, before Starfleet would split them up for good.  They wanted all the officers to move on "spread their talents".  Both Janeway and Chakotay would be given desk jobs at Headquarters.  Kathryn was certain that particular gesture was because Starfleet still bore a grudge towards her and Chakotay.

The mission was for one month on a star-charting mission.  Janeway couldn't think of a greater humiliation.  Did they not think she and her crew were capable of anything more?  Beverly and Jean-Luc had tried, but it had been a strain to get even the one-month assignment.  They both called to apologize on behalf of the 'Fleet.

The mission would begin in three weeks' time, and Chakotay reserved tickets to Dorvan V for himself and Kathryn before he could decide not to go.  He informed Kathryn, who was not terribly pleased, asking him why now after they had had many chances.  "I can't explain it, Kathryn.  I'm sorry.  I wish I could, but I just have this feeling that we'll be gone for an awfully long time.  I don't know why."

"Well neither do I.  Starfleet certainly doesn't think we'll be gone for long," she snapped, then sighed.  "Chakotay, I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to be short with you.  I'm just mad at Starfleet and sick of all these damn endless meetings, all this paperwork, all these padds on what's going on in every cubic millimeter of the Federation, not to mention all these reports Starfleet has rammed down my throat about every tiny detail that went on here in the past nine years." With a growl, she threw the padd she was holding against the wall, then dropped her head back and massaged her temples.  Chakotay turned her sideways on the couch, settling behind her to massage her tense back, shoulders and neck.  She relaxed under his care, soon sighing her relief.  "Thank you.  I needed that."

"Now," Chakotay said softly, "We are not going to do any work tonight.  You need a break.  You've been going non-stop for almost a week now.  You can get back to your work tomorrow, but tonight we're doing something fun, you can choose."

She paused.  "Is that an order, Commander?"

"I believe it is."

"Then how about a picnic sail on the California coast?"

"Sounds perfect."

"Let's go get some food to take," she said, rising.

"I'll do that.  Why don't you go talk to your mother or sister?"

"Okay," she agreed, kissing him in thanks.  "You know, you're really too good to be true."

"I know.  Love you, sweetheart."

"Love you back."

Chakotay was whistling as he packed their dinner, and Kathryn entered the kitchen with a smile.  "Mom sends her love.  She said to have fun on our trip to Dorvan and to bring her back something to show her we didn't just sneak off to Risa again.  She wants us to come for dinner the night before we're supposed to leave orbit.  We'll be home from Dorvan V before then, right?"

"Yes.  I managed to get seats on an express shuttle service.  The trip will only take one day each way.  We'll have eight days on Dorvan - think you can live without a replicator that long?"

"What?!  You're kidding.  There's not a single replicator on the planet?!"

"I don't think so, unless things have changed since I was there ten years ago, but things don't change a lot there."

"No kidding," she said in slight awe.  "No replicator?  My god, I'll have to get Mom to teach me to use a percolator."

"It shouldn't be that difficult," he teased her lightly.  "I learned how when I was ten."

"Yes, but you have talent where cooking is concerned."

"Coffee is not cooking.  It's running water and beans through a machine."

The sail was exactly what Kathryn needed.  The break was perfect, and when she returned she was ready to tackle her pile again.  Chakotay intercepted her before she could return to their office.  "Whoa, not so fast.  Starfleet can live without you.  Your husband needs some TLC."

She rose on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek and ruffled his hair, before she turned to scurry into the office.

Chakotay couldn't help but laugh, then chase her into the office, catching her and holding her to him while she laughed and tried to wrestle free.  She was gasping for breath as she said, "Chakotay... I ... have ... too ... much work... to do."

"Then you'll have to settle for doing the unthinkable, Captain: delegating!"

She was still short of breath, no longer from laughter, but from his caresses that were having a dizzying effect on her senses.  He had pinned her arms against his chest and had taken complete control of her.  She wrestled with him a moment, not in anger, but in an instinctive reaction because she hated not being in control of herself.  Chakotay knew this and held her captive just a moment longer, his lips hungrily claiming hers before she gave into the emotions and desires that pounded through her.  He let her go slowly, and she was glad.  The world was spinning around her just slightly and she needed his arms for a moment to hold her up.  She wove her hands through his hair, tweaking the individual hairs and brushing her fingers along the back of his neck.  He finally pulled away, eyes filled with laughter and want, asking her, "Do you still want to work?"

"What work?" She asked him and he smiled, pulling her up into his arms and carrying her to the bedroom.

Kathryn stepped off the shuttle and looked around.  The sun was bright and she shaded her eyes.  "What do you think?" Chakotay asked her, surveying the land like she did, though his was to see how much had changed.

"Beautiful," she said and she meant it.  Chakotay's home planet was mostly used for farming and as she looked out at the expanse the landing peak provided, she saw a rich land filled with healthy greens plants, yellow wheat and corn, clear blue lakes and rivers and sown earth.  She sniffed the air.  It was pure and fresh and clean.  She could smell a light mist and knew it must have rained earlier that day.  "My god, Chakotay, how did you ever leave this place?" She breathed softly, voice tingled with awe, as if a louder voice would disrupt the beauty she saw around her.  

He was touched that she was so taken with his planet.  No matter what he said, it still held a special place in his heart.  "I admit, that was the hardest part.  I had a hell of a shock when I arrived in San Francisco.  I had never seen so many people in all of my life!  None of our villages were a tenth the size of the city, and I had never seen so many buildings.  It was a huge change, especially considering the population here doubled since we left the Alpha Quadrant."

Kathryn merely nodded.

"My old village is about thirty kilometers from here.  I'd like to stop there first.  There aren't any transporters on Dorvan, and not many shuttles, so I thought we could use...." He turned and so did she and she saw two horses.  "I know it's not what you're used to."

"They'll be fine.  I love animals." She approached the horse, holding out her hand, even though it was empty.  Chakotay was reminded of the way she had acted around the monkey on New Earth years before.  She was soon petting the horse and glanced back at Chakotay.  "Saddles?"

"Not this time.  Ever rode bareback?"

"Nope."

"Ever rode?" He asked, teasing her slightly.

"Yes." She said indignantly, then added with less confidence, "but one time it was a pony tethered to one of those children's rides and the other was at a resort my family went to years back and we went on a trail ride."

"That could be interesting.  You're going to be sore tomorrow.  I'm sorry."

"That's not your fault.  I'm sure you wanted this to be an authentic visit.  I don't mind."

"Come to think of it, Cherin said the horses were very well trained.  I wonder if the other horse will follow."

"Who's Cherin?"

"One of the old healers in my village.  I contacted him to ask if we could stay with him.  He and my father were great friends.  He couldn't come to meet us because one of the villagers is sick, and everyone else is busy harvesting the food." He looked back thoughtfully at the animals.  "Let's give it a try." He hoisted her up onto one of the horses, telling her to hook on her backpack in front of her, then he got behind her, his pack behind him.  He instructed Kathryn to hold on to the horse's mane and he spurred the horse to start.  He called to the other horse, who followed.

They rode together for several kilometers before Kathryn asked if she could try.  

Chakotay taught her how to communicate to the animal and she practiced until they had gone about ten kilometers, when Kathryn stopped the horse and said she wanted to move to her own.  Chakotay called the other horse along side him and Kathryn slid from one to the other.  She readjusted her knapsack, now putting it on her back, and Chakotay waited for Kathryn's call that she was ready.  They reached a huge open field they had to cross, and Kathryn spurred her mount and they galloped past Chakotay and his horse.  She called, "Race you!" to Chakotay and tore past him, laughing.  He chased after her.  They both slowed to a halt at the end of the field, Chakotay having nearly caught up several times, but never gotten ahead of her.  He had done it on purpose because he didn't want Kathryn to go any faster than she already was.  As it was, he was incredibly worried she would fall and get trampled by the horse.  If she knew he had let her win or not, she didn't comment, just grinned, loving more this bright, warm sunshine and the wind in her face more than winning the race, though Chakotay suspected she knew he'd let her win.

They soon stopped at a stream and took a drink, filling the canteen Chakotay had brought with the cool, clear liquid.  They let the horses drink and Kathryn asked more about the village they were going to.

Chakotay told her about the growing seasons, the traditions, the people, the way of life and he continued speaking as they mounted the horses and rode beside each other.  She asked Chakotay about his family and he told her about his childhood - he had been the youngest by five years, and was horribly spoiled as a child because of it.  "When I was five, I promised my father I would be a spiritual leader, like him.  He hugged me and told me how proud he was of me," Chakotay said softly, slowing his mount.  It was the last time his father had said he was proud of him while still alive.  Chakotay bit his lip and banished the tears.  After a moment, he looked up to see Kathryn's concerned face.  "I'm alright," he reassured her, explaining no more than that.

She nodded, accepting his silent request for privacy on the issue.  She asked some questions about the trail they were following, the setting, what places were sacred, and Chakotay had regained his equilibrium by the time they were just outside the village.  They rode in, an older man coming to the door of a small wooden hut and he smiled and waved to Chakotay.  Chakotay dismounted and walked the horse to the door, where he dropped it and hugged the man.  "Chakotay, you have changed much."

"I have," he agreed, then turned to see Kathryn had arrived at his side.  "Cherin, I'd like you to meet my wife, Kathryn Janeway.  Kathryn, this is Cherin."

She offered her hand and he took it in both of hers.  "Pleased to meet you," she said with a smile.

He seemed to be examining her hand within his, turning it over and pressing the center of her palm.  "Your hands are strong, and beautiful.  They tell the story of your life."

Kathryn was touched by the obvious acceptance.  "Thank you, Cherin.  Chakotay, if you'd told me your home was this friendly, I'd have booked a trip as soon as we got back to the Alpha Quadrant!"

They laughed and Chakotay asked Cherin about his patient.  "She is improving.  There were complications in childbirth, but both mother and daughter appear to be blessed by the spirits.  They are both strong."

"I'm so glad to hear it.  I take it everyone is out in the fields?"

"Yes.  They will return before sundown.  There is a village dinner tonight."

"Can we help with the harvest?" Chakotay asked.

Cherin shook his head.  "You have traveled far today, I am sure you must be tired.  Tomorrow you may help.  For right now, will you keep an old man company?"

"Of course." The rest of the afternoon, Cherin filled them in on what had happened in the past decade to the Native Indian people and the other colonists on Dorvan V.

"There are other people?" Kathryn had asked, knowing her surprise could be heard.  She hoped she didn't sound rude.

"Yes.  People from other races and worlds come to see how we live.  Many of these people stay, because they are already interested in the more traditional ways.  There is a Betazoid, two Terrans and a Bajoran among our village, and many more in other villages on Dorvan.  They embrace our rituals and traditions and we welcome them in."

Kathryn liked the simplistic dialogue Cherin spoke.  She was beginning to believe that everyone here spoke with the same cadences as Chakotay, the same slow, thoughtful tone, the same sense that the person was listening to every word that was being said to him or her.  She would soon learn that her theory was correct.

Many people were returning from the fields, some giving curious glances to Chakotay and Kathryn, some not noticing them as they talked in a language she couldn't understand.  Chakotay jumped up at one point, and ran to one of the people returning who had called his name.  "Kita!" He cried, hugging her in greeting.  She spoke in the native tongue and Chakotay responded, easily slipping back into the language he had spoken as a child.  They spoke for several moments before Chakotay remembered Kathryn and waved her over, returning to Standard, for which she was grateful.  "Kita, this is my wife, Kathryn.  Kathryn, this is one of my friends since grade school, Kita."

Kita gave Kathryn a welcoming hug, which didn't seem out of place in this warm, friendly community.  "I have some wonderful stories to tell you about Chakotay!" She said, as if Kathryn was an old friend.  "When he was seven, he-"

"Kita," Chakotay exclaimed, "you don't really need to tell all these embarrassing stories about me, do you?"

"No," Kita said, "but I want to." She continued with her tale.  Chakotay was going to mention something else, but he saw another familiar face and hurried over to say hello.

Kita helped Kathryn through the evening, bringing her back to her house to help prepare bread and some vegetables as Chakotay spoke with many of his old friends.  Kita told her what was expected of her, as Chakotay's wife, explaining that it might not be the same as what she was used to.  Kita saw her eyes widening and said quickly, "No, Wanyeca," she said, and Kathryn took it to be a term of endearment meant between friends, "there's nothing strange, just a little different.  Since Chakotay is a guest of honor here, he will have to start a chant.  You, as his wife, have to join him.  I'm sure Chakotay told you this."

Now Kathryn was really worried.  "No, Chakotay didn't mention this!"

Kita looked a little concerned.  "Men!  Alright, Wanyeca, it looks like I will have to teach you."

So while the vegetables and bread were cooking, Kita taught the chant to Kathryn.  At first Kathryn couldn't get her voice to produce the throaty keening call, but with practice, she got it.  It wasn't perfect, but it wouldn't make Chakotay look bad.  Kita made Kathryn run through the entire chant perfectly alone before they quickly pulled the food out of the oven and hurried to the party.

Chakotay met up with Kathryn before the celebration got underway, but she didn't mention the chant they had to do.  She figured he must have forgotten in all the excitement.  Well, it'll suit him right to sweat for a minute before I have to come in.

They sat down with Kita and her family, Erren, another one of Chakotay's close friends, and his family, and the pot-luck dinner passed pleasantly.  Cherin had blessed the food and given thanks to the spirits for their many gifts before he had told them all to enjoy the meal.  After dinner, Cherin rose once again and pounded his rattle-stick rhythmically on the ground, the speed increasing until it sounded like a heavy rain.  Then he called "Undae!"

There was a call back, and he repeated it a second them and they called back the same word, then a third, and they called back the same response, then his rattle-stick and everything around the fire fell silent.  The hushed sound was broken only by the ceremonial moccasins whispering across the packed earth.

Cherin approached Kathryn and Chakotay and Chakotay's eyes grew wide when he remembered what he was expected to do.  How could he have forgotten to tell Kathryn?!  He turned to her, having no idea what to do.  She placed a hand on his arm in reassurance and smiled.  He shook his head, thinking she did not understand.  She leaned over and whispered the first line of the chant in his ear.  He looked at her incredulously for a second, then knew who must have taught her.  Kita, may all the spirits bless you.  He stood without any hesitation and took the rattle-stick.  Kathryn stood as well, glancing back at Kita who gave her a supportive smile.  Chakotay moved to the fire and when everyone seemed ready, he called the first line of chant.  Kathryn answered with her line and he smiled briefly before he threw his head back and shouted the next line.  She repeated his gesture, tossing her head back and they continued to chant.  Their voices blended at one point, saying the same lines, then split apart again, the cue to the rest of the group that they were to join in now.  The chant thundered to a close and there was another absolute silence.  Cherin approached them and Chakotay passed him the stick.  He took Kathryn's hand and they returned to where they had been seated.

When attention had been deflected from them, he leaned over to whisper that she'd been terrific and she replied that it was all Kita's fault, "no thanks to you!" She teased, though she wasn't angry.  It seemed to have gone very well.  There was a dance next, a dance for the spirits to ask for a bountiful harvest, and Kathryn was caught up in the movements and calls.  Personally, she had never been attracted to Native Indian music, but the holoreels certainly did this breathless intoxicating music no justice at all.  When the dance ended, Cherin called Chakotay and Kathryn forward and told the villagers who these strangers were.  He spoke in the native language because only half the villagers knew Standard, and most of them did not know it well.  Kathryn pulled out her combadge discreetly and held it in her cupped palm, listening closely so she could understand what the older man was saying.

Kathryn scanned the crowd and saw a young boy approaching, sneaking low so as not to disturb others, but creeping forward just a little bit.  She smiled and glanced over at Chakotay to see if he saw the child, too.  He nodded slightly.

Yes, he had seen him.  Cherin passed the rattle-stick to Chakotay and he stepped forward, telling the crowd about what he had learned on Voyager.  He told them he had learned to accept his heritage, and really take pride in it, he told them he prayed to the spirits for their protection and he told them about his experience with the "Sky spirits" that Kathryn had nearly forgotten.  After that, he turned to Kathryn and asked her if she wanted to say anything.  She nodded and he asked if she wanted him to translate or if she wanted to use the universal translator.  She said she wanted the translator because that way they could hear her words and her voice.

She thanked the villagers for their hospitality, commented on their beautiful planet and wonderful upkeep and told them how much she wanted to learn many of the native customs.  She realized, perhaps too late, that that might be considered an interest in taking up permanent residence on Dorvan V.  She struggled with how to tell them she did not want to be part of the tribe, but that she hoped she and Chakotay were allowed to visit often.  She finally settled for the truth.  She said simply, "I value your traditions and your rituals, and believe in the strength that lies there for you.  I hope you see my sincerity at that statement, but I want you to know that I must and I choose to honor my heritage, as you do.  Chakotay and I will remain in Starfleet, though I hope we are often invited to visit."

Chakotay spoke up then.  He hadn't told Kathryn that wives did not speak for their husbands, the same as husbands did not speak for their wives.  "I am sorry, but I do choose to remain in Starfleet.  I hope that does not bear any lingering anger.  If I could have changed the first treaty with Cardassia, I would have."

"As would have I," Kathryn added softly, though the translator automatically increased the volume when it translated her words.

Chakotay looked at her hard, trying to read the truth in her eyes.  Apparently he couldn't find an answer either way to what he was searching for and he turned back to Cherin and handed him the stick.  He and Kathryn returned to where they were sitting and Cherin sat down, calling all the children close.  Then, once they had settled, he began the tradition of telling stories, the legends that were famous among their people.  Kathryn listened intently, occasionally asking Chakotay questions.  Shortly into the first story, she had touched the recording button on her commbadge so she could play back these stories.  She wasn't sure if it was an insult, and had decided it really wasn't fair to the story to be cooped up in her device.  She turned off the recording, erasing the last few minutes so the story was forever free.  If she wanted to hear the stories again, she could ask Chakotay or return to Dorvan.  These stories were meant to be told among and by people, not Starfleet technology.

Chakotay glanced around the group, surprised to realize how much he had truly missed Dorvan.  It had never really occurred to him before now.  He hadn't realized he'd missed it in the Delta Quadrant, why now?  Maybe because he realized what Dorvan represented.  It was a family, and while Kathryn was that, and Voyager had been an extension of that, he still longed for a small family of his own.  He knew that he and Kathryn had no time for a baby now; Starfleet would probably decide Kathryn was in "too delicate a situation" to command Voyager, and she would end up resenting him for the child, whether or not she showed it.  No, baby days were gone.  He and Kathryn could have had a child earlier, on Voyager, but of course, they hadn't been together then.

Chakotay wondered if Kathryn had ever been interested in having children.  Most "career-women" especially those rushing up the Starfleet ladder chose not to have children because it cut out three to five years of their career-lives.  It wasn't fair or particularly safe and healthy to have a baby on a starship, and few officers jumped for joy at planet-side assignments.  It was strange; it had never occurred to him to want children before Seska had told him she was carrying his.  It had been almost a disappointment to be told he was not the father, though it would have probably upset him more if the baby was his and Cullah had taken him anyway.  Yes, he had wanted a child, had wanted to pass on his traditions to another, but he supposed he would have to settle for returning often to Dorvan and teaching the village children.

His eyes fell on the little boy who had been approaching earlier, when he and Kathryn had been up on the platform.  He was sitting with an older woman, though sneaking glances full of wonder and awe at Chakotay and Kathryn.  Chakotay judged the boy to be about five, perhaps six years of age.  The next time the boy looked his way, Chakotay smiled, and the boy quickly turned his head, embarrassed to be caught, though Chakotay didn't mind.

There was no light in the sky when Cherin ended his stories for the evening.  The group of about 200 stood up and began walking back to their homes.  Cherin had offered his house, but it was quite small, and they turned him down, thanking him for the offer, but Kita had already extended her hospitalities and Chakotay and Janeway had gratefully taken her up on the offer.

The next morning, Chakotay was woken just as dawn was breaking.  He gently shook Kathryn awake, who mumbled, "If you don't have a cup of coffee for me, you're a dead man," and tried to go back to sleep.  Her muscles were killing her; Chakotay had been right about the horseback riding.

"Kathryn, I'm going to help harvest."

Guiltily, she opened her eyes.  "That means I should help, too."

"What do you know about harvesting?" He asked her, more curious than anything, but especially in her dullened state, she took his tone to be mocking.

"I know how to pull vegetables.  We had a big garden out the back when I was a child and everyone had to help out.  There was also a cornfield behind my house and my Daddy and I tended about twenty stalks every year upon agreement with the farmer," she replied, climbing out of bed.  "IS there any coffee?" She asked him, finally looking him in the eye.

"How about I go find out?" He asked her soothingly, not having meant his words as an insult.  He also knew that part of her reaction was the time of day.  He hadn't mentioned that during harvest, days were from sun-up to sundown, however the harvest was almost over.  That day would be the last day of picking.  After that they would prepare the food for winter.

"Thanks."

Chakotay left the room, finding Kita in the kitchen preparing breakfast.  "Any coffee?" He asked, running a hand over his face then through his hair, which stood up straight.

Kita poured him a cup, asking him how he had slept.  He replied he'd been out like a bear during hibernation and Kita teased him that as long as he didn't actually go into hiding and not visit her for months that that was alright.  He left the room after a retort to her comment, which hadn't been particularly snappy, he decided.  He'd have to slip back into the routine of rising early.  He had drunk about half the coffee when he returned to the bedroom and gave the mug to Kathryn.

"What's this?" Kathryn asked, a smile now gracing her features as she dressed.  "Where's the rest of my coffee?"

"Inside me.  It was good."

Kathryn took a sip.  "You're right.  Now, out of my way, Cowboy, I'm off to find more of this wonderful stuff."

Chakotay wondered from where the 'cowboy' reference had come, but decided not to ask.

Half an hour later, they were out in the field.  The village had all congregated at that time, and Kathryn realized it was a standard time.  Chakotay started to walk towards the cornfields and Kathryn followed him.  Kita pulled her back and Chakotay turned, realizing Kathryn's actions.  "No, no, Wanyeca," Kita said, "you get to come with me.  Chakotay and some of the stronger men are going to pull the corn stalks.  We pick the other vegetables.  It's the best use of time and personal ability."

Kathryn nodded.  "Sorry."

Chakotay looked amused.  "Wanyeca?"

Kita shrugged.  "It seemed to fit."

"What does it mean?" Kathryn asked.

"Firefly," Chakotay grinned.  Kita looked slightly embarrassed.  "I did not mean it in a patronizing way."

Kathryn smiled in reassurance.  "I'm not insulted.  In fact, I'm touched.  It's close to what my father used to call me.  I was his goldenbird."

"Then the sun must have brought out the red in your hair."

Kathryn glanced at her hair.  "It did." Then she realized something, and nearly groaned.  "Tell me I don't have freckles."

"Freckles?"

"Little light brown dots on my nose and cheeks."

Kita grinned.  "I was wondering what they were.  They're cute."

"Maybe when I was five."

Kita showed her how to pull the vegetables: something like squash, potatoes, turnips, carrots, beans, peas and a dark vegetable she had never seen before.  She asked Kita about it, and the woman told her to taste it.  Kathryn rubbed the dirt off on her shirt and bit into the vegetable that fit in her palm.  It was surprisingly sweet, and thick and crispy without being crunchy.  She loved the taste and asked Kita about the vegetable.  She explained that it was one native to Dorvan, a personal favorite of many of the villagers.

When the sun got hottest, everyone returned to their houses to rest and eat.  After an hour's break, they all entered the caves under the city where mushrooms and many of the roots and spices the villagers used were grown.  They collected the last of what was left in the caves and returned to the fields, the sun having sunk slightly from directly overhead.

When they returned from the fields at the end of the day, Kathryn noticed the little boy from yesterday watching her and Chakotay.  She tugged lightly on her husband's arm, stopping him from walking and he turned to her.  She pointed discreetly to the little boy and the two of them held a silent conversation.  They approached the boy, both smiling.  Chakotay spoke first to him, in native, so Kathryn couldn't understood.  Apparently he said something funny, because the little boy laughed.  Kathryn pulled out her universal translator, in order to understand, but the boy noticed it and looked at it in wonder.  She held it out to him.  Chakotay explained that it allowed Kathryn to understand what he was saying.  To demonstrate, he turned off the universal translator and said something which Kathryn didn't understand.  The little boy laughed again, and this time Kathryn got the idea it was she the little boy was laughing at.  She turned to Chakotay, who said to the little boy, after turning on the universal translator, "See?  She didn't understand what I said or else she would have said something to me."

"What did you say?" Kathryn asked, in the back of her mind hearing her voice translated into the native language.

Chakotay looked over at the little boy and asked him if he wanted to tell Kathryn what he had said.  The boy looked up and said, "He said you had a horn growing out of your head, but it was hidden by your hair."

Kathryn patted her head, playing along.  "I don't think he's telling the truth," she said in a loud whisper, then added, "unless it is a very little horn."

The little boy eventually said he had to go and returned to the older woman they had seen with him yesterday, looking regretful, and Kathryn promised to herself that she would talk to him tomorrow.  It was strange; she still didn't know his name.  It didn't seem that important, either.  Kita approached them and said, "You made his week.  Mahtola is not usually this happy."

"Oh?"

"His father was a resistance fighter with the Maquis; he died before the boy was born.  His mother died in childbirth - he was born breech.  It was only by many prayers that he even survived.  His grandmother has raised him."

"Does he have any other family?"

"Both parents' families were heavily into the resistance.  They were all killed, most of them captured by Cardassians and tortured to death."

Kathryn felt an upheaval in her stomach at the quiet, simple, direct way Kita had told them this.  There was no sympathy or sadness, not even a lot of anger, not that it wasn't there, but that those sentiments could change nothing.  Her stomach returned to its normal position, thankfully, allowing her some dignity.  She couldn't find the right words to say.  She had never liked 'I'm sorry' because she felt it had always mocked the pain of others and her own.  Instead she said quietly, "I wish history had been different."

Kita smiled sadly at her new friend.  "Me, too.  Come.  It's nearly time for dinner, and I need some help with the bread.  Chakotay, will you go round up the family?"

"Of course."

The next day, Kathryn approached Mahtola.  He was shelling peas with the person Kathryn now knew was his grandmother.  She asked if she could sit down and the boy nodded brightly.  He had just noticed her translator and grinned, probably remembering Chakotay's comment from yesterday.  "No horns today," she said lightly and he grinned again at her.  She could see he had lost a tooth and commented on it and he told her proudly he was the first person among his friends to lose a tooth.  She portrayed how impressed she was, asking him a few questions, and then asking him about space and what he liked about it.

"My mommy and daddy flew in the stars before I was born.  Grandma has told me they are dead, and that it is dangerous in the stars, but I want to explore them."

"I think you're very brave," she told him.  "When I was little I wanted to explore the stars, just like you.  My father took me to Mars, a planet close to my home, when I was nine, and I loved it.  It was then I knew I wanted to be in Starfleet."

"Starfleet?" The boy asked, and Kathryn explained that they were the Federation people that allowed them to fly in space.  She had to speak carefully, because she knew the grandmother would probably not be one of Starfleet's biggest fans, though it was really the Federation government that had signed the Cardassian Peace Treaty.  Most Starfleet officers did believe in it, however, and had taken an oath to obey and uphold all Federation laws and agreements.

Kathryn was quite satisfied with her response.  They talked as they worked for another few hours, before the grandmother said to the boy it was time to prepare supper.

The next day on a morning walk, Kathryn told Chakotay she wanted to see this "sacred grove" she had heard about.  Cherin had mentioned it as being the most beautiful place on the planet and had urged her to visit it.

"Kathryn, I don't know what you're expecting, but you'll be disappointed.  It is a very plain area.  The reason Cherin calls it beautiful is because of the spirits he speaks to there."

"Don't you think the spirits will speak to me?"

Chakotay bit back a smile.  Most members of the village would be highly insulted at that question.  "The spirits don't speak to people.  They listen.  It would probably not satisfy the searching-for-answers Kathryn Janeway.  All it gives is more questions," he said, and Kathryn noted the frustration on his tone.

"I'd still like to go," Kathryn insisted.

"Kathryn, you're more stubborn than Erron's mule!" Chakotay said, though he was less angry than amused.  The mule was famous in the village for being the most difficult.  "But if it means that much to you, we'll go.  I'll ask Kita if I can borrow some of her horses."

"Thank you.  Why don't you want to go?" She asked him, not understanding.  He had really wanted to return to Dorvan for a visit, why did he not want to visit one of the places that really represented the society?

"A lot of reasons.  I guess it reminds me of my failure in my father's eyes."

"But you've said that you made amends after his death."

Chakotay pursed his lips.  "Yes, he did." He would not say any more.  "Come.  I am sorry, Monkey.  Let's go pack some food for the day."

They turned around to go back to Kita's house, but ran into Mahtola before they got there.  He was returning from picking some berries for lunch.  He asked them where they were going and Chakotay replied that they were going to the sacred grove.  Kathryn decided to invite him to go with them and his eyes lit up at the thought of spending the day with them.  "Okay!  Let me go ask Grandma." He hurried to his home and returned shortly.  "Grandma says yes.  She gave me some berries for us to eat at lunch."

Kathryn and Chakotay and Mahtola entered Kita's house and asked to borrow horses.  She agreed and packed them a lunch before sending them off.  They had only two horses because Kita owned no others but they assured her they would make do.  Chakotay suggested to Mahtola that he ride with Kathryn because she needed all the help she could get.  Mahtola laughed and showed Kathryn the ropes of riding, being quite skilled for his age.  He could nearly rival Chakotay and Chakotay decided he really needed to brush up on his skills.

They rode most of the morning and decided to stop for lunch shortly after noon.  They stopped in a valley beside the trail.  The valley was green and protected on three sides by a steep, grass incline and canopy trees whose branches cast welcome shade on the area.  There were trees growing throughout and a stream to one side.  During lunch, Mahtola asked all kinds of questions about their technology, space, Starfleet, the Academy and he told them that he wanted to enter the Academy when he was older.  He was silent for some time, a small frown on his little face, and Kathryn asked him what was the matter.

He seemed to toy with himself as to whether to tell them or not when he confessed, "Grandma would be mad if she knew I was thinking this, but I want to go with you.  She is old and I must take care of her.  She has told me she wants me to be the healer of the village when Cherin no longer can.  I want to make her happy, but I do not want to stay here."

Chakotay looked at Kathryn for the longest moment and without a single movement, they held a conversation, both of them holding their breaths to see what the other wanted.  Chakotay glanced back down at the boy who had wormed his way into both of their hearts, who was confused as to what had passed between Chakotay and Kathryn, and said to the boy, "I think we now have a reason to go speak with the spirits other than a social call." His voice was tight with held-in emotion and his attempted humor was lost on Mahtola.

They cleaned up lunch and reached a lake by mid-afternoon.  The grove was on an island which they reached by a canoe that was tied to a stake in the ground.  The island was the only land that they could see, the only dot of green along the horizon.  As they approached, Kathryn could see that it was thick with trees.  They anchored the canoe in the shallow mud on the bank then and stepped onto the island.  Chakotay led them wordlessly to the small and only clearing on the island.  All of them sat cross-legged in a circle and Chakotay pulled out his medicine bundle.  He placed three fingers on the device, indicating that Kathryn and Mahtola were to do the same.  He then spoke quietly to the spirits.  He told them why he had been gone so long, told them who Kathryn was, mentioning the little boy was with them and that they had come for guidance.  He told the spirits about Mahtola's situation, and their own, that they wanted him as their child.  Then Chakotay became silent as they waited for an answer.

Chakotay had never before heard the spirits.  He had not told Kathryn the truth when he had said that the spirits did not speak to people.  They had spoken to his father and now to Cherin and many villagers had heard the spirits answer their questions, his mother and siblings among them.  He was embarrassed they had never spoken to him, even ashamed, as if that made him a failure in the eyes of his people.  He had often asked their guidance, but they had never responded.  He was skeptical they would speak to him now, but he had never given up hope on them.  Chakotay felt the cloud forming before he saw it.  The churning white strands strengthened until a figure emerged from them.  It was Kolopak, and both Kathryn and Chakotay recognized him, however, Mahtola did not.  It was he whom Kolopak first addressed.  He knelt down by the child and smiled.  "I am Kolopak, Chakotay's father.  I was a healer, like Cherin is.  I understand you want to live with my son and his wife."

"Yes," Mahtola said quietly, slightly in awe.  This was his first direct contact with the spirits.  He showed what all of them felt.  Chakotay was a little more at ease because he had been speaking on occasion with his father for a decade, but knew this was not only his father, but all the spirits, speaking to them through a median he recognized.

"I am not here to give you permission, neither to be adopted or to adopt," he said, including Kathryn and Chakotay in his dialogue.  "I can only listen to your questions and prayers and help you answer then for yourselves.  Chakotay, I know you want to know if I think you and Kathryn could raise Mahtola and the answer is yes.  You would both make wonderful parents.  I know you love Mahtola and will do everything possible to make his life better.  Can you teach him our traditions?  You have to answer that yourself.  Kathryn, you are wondering if you can learn and if Mahtola's grandmother will let you adopt Mahtola, seeing as you are not from Dorvan and know little about our traditions.  Chakotay will teach you, my daughter.  Anook might not want it, but you must make her see your side of the issue.  The best way to convince people is through the truth.  Good luck, my son, my daughter, my grandchild.  I am always with you.  Remember that." He stepped back and faded.

Kathryn, Chakotay and Mahtola snapped out of the trance, each of them gasping once.  The experience had completely taken them over.  Now Kathryn and Chakotay looked at Mahtola seriously.  He was mature for his age; Kathryn supposed that was partly due to the death of his parents and the fact that he lived with his grandmother and needed to help out more than most children did.

"Do you really want to come with us?  This doesn't mean one mission in the stars, this means the rest of your life.  It is not as easy as you may think, and nothing like Dorvan.  You will be giving up everything you know and love." Chakotay said, not wanting to scare him but wanting to make sure he understood what it would be like.  "The only people you will know are myself and Kathryn, but you will get to know our friends and their children.  We will not be able to visit Dorvan very often, maybe not for years.  Space is the most amazing place, but you must give her your heart and your soul willingly, or else she will take them from you and you will turn into a bitter old man," he said, his voice turning teasing to lighten the intensity.

"I want to go with you.  I will not turn into a bitter old man," he said with a smile of his own.

"You will have to learn to speak Standard and you will learn our customs as well.  There is so much I have to teach you if you want to learn," Kathryn said, hugging Mahtola tightly as if he was already her child.

"I want to learn.  Please take me with you."

Chakotay hugged both of them and promised they would try their best.  They all stood and left the clearing.  They returned to the boat and paddled back to the shore in silence, each of them thinking about the magnitude of what they were going to ask for, and the chances of receiving it.  They all decided to put their minds off it slightly as they rode home.  The pace was more leisurely and it was easier to talk.  Kathryn and Chakotay started teaching Mahtola Standard, using simple words, first saying them in the native language, then repeating them in Standard and having Mahtola repeat after them.  Because of their slower pace, night had fallen by the time they returned to the village.  Chakotay told Mahtola that they would talk to his grandmother, Anook, and Cherin the following day and that he should go to sleep.  They watched him enter his grandmother's house and turn to wave at them before the door closed.

In Kita's house, neither Chakotay nor Janeway mentioned their wish to their host or hostess.  They let the matter drop until they were undressing for bed when Kathryn asked, "What do you think Cherin will say?"

"He will feel obliged because he and my father were as close as brothers and he knows me and loves me, but there is an unspoken rule in the tribe that every child is brought up traditionally, on Dorvan, and then he or she may choose their own path.  He will be quite torn.  It will be up to the village.  I am sure all will be included because every child belongs first to their parents and after that to the village adults.  We'll have to convince them we can raise him traditionally."

"No," Kathryn said quietly but firmly.  "We will not raise him solely traditionally.  We will raise him as we see fit because he will become our child.  I am not letting go of my lifestyle and am not willing not to teach it to him because of the way he is expected to be raised.  I am sorry, but if that is non-negotiable, I cannot accept the adoption."

Chakotay let out a breath through his teeth.  "We cannot throw that in their faces.  Maybe we were wrong not to talk to Kita; she will know what to say to convince the villagers - that is if she believes we could raise Mahtola properly."

"Surely you don't think...."

"The only area where Kita and I ever disagreed was when we discussed the traditional ways of doing things.  She loves our traditions and believes very strongly in them.  It may be that our first obstacle is to convince her."

Kathryn turned out the light and got into bed.  She didn't want to think about this anymore.  It was quite upsetting and she didn't want to think about all the problems they would encounter in what should be a simple situation.  It was what she and Chakotay wanted, it was what Mahtola wanted and Kathryn and Chakotay would be able to raise him well.  It should have been very simple.  As Kathryn was drifting off to sleep in Chakotay's arms, she asked, "Will they consider what Mahtola wants?"

"I hope so," Chakotay replied, running his fingers through her hair absently.  It had become a gesture that brought peace and serenity, and he had found he couldn't sleep without it.

The next morning both Kathryn and Chakotay rose early.  They knew there was much to be done that day and that their best chance for a talk with Kita was before breakfast.  Kita was surprised to see them up so early.  This morning they were up at sunrise, and usually they woke when she called everyone for breakfast, still a little less than an hour away.  "Good morning.  You're certainly up early.  Have some coffee?"

"Please," they replied simultaneously in the same slightly-desperate tone of those who never got enough sleep at night.  Kita had to cover a smile.  She loved newlyweds.

"Sit down, I'll get the coffee.  What's on your minds?"

Kathryn was more surprised than Chakotay that Kita had guessed something was up.

Chakotay had rarely been able to hide anything from her.  "It's Mahtola.  He wants to come with us on our next journey."

Chakotay thought he saw her freeze for just an instant, but he wasn't sure.  "He wants to live with us, and we want to adopt him."

"I see.  Please go on."

"Well," Kathryn faltered, unsure of what else to say.  She thought they had stated everything that needed to be told.  Chakotay, however, knew what else needed to be said.

"We will teach him our ways, Kita.  He will still be one of us, as I am."

"Are you, Chakotay?" Now she turned to him, her tone indicating an anger that was tightly reined in.  "You don't visit and only practice the customs that suit you.  I know you were off in the Delta Quadrant for years, but there is no excuse for your years earlier.  Since you joined Starfleet, you visited once, and that was only when your father died.  Chakotay, I love you like a brother, but I can't let my conscience allow Mahtola to be taught by you.  You practice the traditions because you had them taught for all your childhood.  Mahtola will have only five years of true teaching.  I know what you are asking - for my permission and so that I will speak to the others on your behalf, but I don't know if I can do that."

"You would do that?" Kathryn asked.

"Do what?"

"Ignore Mahtola's wishes and keep him somewhere where he doesn't want to be.  I understand you are protective of your culture, I would be too, but don't let it blind you.  What's best for you might not be best for everyone.  The worst way to get people's to respect a way of life is to force them into it."

This apparently gave Kita something to think about.  "Please give me the rest of the morning to think about it.  I will have an answer for you at lunch."

Kathryn and Chakotay decided to make themselves scarce for the rest of the morning and Chakotay took her to some of his favorite places as a child: the huge willow-like tree he had often climbed as a child, usually watching the stars and dreaming about his future; the brook where he had caught fish and thrown them back; the hill where he and his friends had built a fort when they were much younger.

At noon, Kathryn and Chakotay returned to Kita's house where she informed them that she would speak on their behalf, but only after Kathryn and Chakotay spoke to Cherin, Anook and the village if Cherin felt that necessary.

Kathryn and Chakotay thanked her for her offer and after lunch asked Cherin if they could speak with him and Mahtola and his grandmother.  Cherin agreed and told them he could not leave his patient, but that if they brought Mahtola and Anook to him, that would be alright.

"Anook, Cherin," Chakotay said, addressing both elders as Mahtola climbed onto Kathryn's lap, "Mahtola wants to come with us, and we want to adopt him."

"He has a home," Anook said firmly.  "He lives with me."

"Anook, you will not be around forever.  Someone will need to care for Mahtola at that time."

"The village will do it," she replied in the same tone of voice.

"By no means do we think that you are not a fine caretaker," Kathryn said gently, "We know you love Mahtola, that's not in dispute, but it must be difficult for you to take care of a little boy all the time.  I know that children are quite active.  Mahtola has a fascination with the stars, one that we can feed.  We can teach him what he longs to learn."

"But can you teach him what he needs to learn?  What do you Kathryn Janeway know of native traditions and culture?"

"I know that you are an honor-filled people where a handshake means a great deal to you.  I know that you value the earth and what a person can do with his two hands.  I know you take pride in your work and responsibility in raising your children in the way you deem suitable.  All of these are similar to my upbringing.  Chakotay knows your legends and your traditions and your beliefs.  We will teach Mahtola your heritage and show him that there are other cultures and show him why he is to take pride in his own."

"No.  Until he is grown, he is not to see other cultures.  Youth can stray to what is popular and wrong.  We want to prevent that."

"Would his faith not be stronger had he the chance to explore other cultures and choose to follow his own?"

"Perhaps, but what if he strays and does not return?  He will regret it at some point in his life, as Chakotay has demonstrated."

"It should be his choice to make."

"Perhaps that is where we differ.  He is still young, very impressionable.  He has fallen in lust with the stars and with you, but it is not a real attraction.  He will become homesick and then what will you do; turn your ship around and return to Dorvan all for one little boy?"

"Yes," Kathryn said.  "If that is what Mahtola wants us to do, then we will do it."

"Your dedication to a child you did not know a week ago is impressive, but how am I to know it will not die down once you leave Dorvan?"

"We give you our word.  You have known me since I was a child, Cherin; you know I am a man of my word."

"Yes, Chakotay, but are you a man of heart?  You gave me your word that you will love Mahtola but it is your heart that does the feeling.  Can you make promises for your heart?"

Chakotay did not know how to answer that.  It was clear Cherin was expecting him to answer no.  "I love Mahtola as if he were my own son."

"As do I," Kathryn added, having learned it was not customary for a person to speak on behalf of others.  "Do you question the love a parent has for his or her child, or do you simply know it exists?  Do you trust their words or their actions more?"

"Is it your place to be questioning me?" Cherin gave her an unblinking look, challenging without being threatening.

"No, it is not," she replied, feeling her cheeks coloring, having trouble remembering the deep respect that was to be paid to all elders among Chakotay's people.  She wondered how he had survived growing up here.  She certainly wouldn't have if she'd been forced to hold her tongue so often, especially as a child.  "I apologize."

"I accept.  I want you to know that I wish to satisfy your wishes, and that I trust you, Chakotay, to raise this child adequately.  I don't doubt that you would be good parents.  But I don't know if you are the best parents for Mahtola, especially if you choose to return to space.  If you were to remain on Dorvan, I would have no qualms, as long as Anook was in agreement." Cherin glanced at the old woman and she nodded once.  "However, I sense that is not what you want."

"No."

"Then I would like to call the village together to discuss it tonight." Cherin stood and entered the inner door of his house to return to his patient; the discussion was finished for the moment.

Kathryn couldn't eat more than a few bites of supper; she was so nervous.  Kita tried to calm her but it was futile.  Kathryn would be tied up in knots until she knew Mahtola would be her son.  She herself was amazed at the emotions she had for Mahtola.  She had never imagined a love that was so protective; she wanted to shield Mahtola from everything that could harm him and wanted to give him the best of everything.  She wanted him to be able to explore the universe as he so yearned and she wanted to comfort him when he fell or had a nightmare.  She wanted to be there for him always.  She wanted to be his world.  If only the village could see all she and Chakotay could give Mahtola!

They gathered, around the fire, the same as they had for the harvest celebration nearly a week ago.  It was odd to think that so much had happened in those days.  Two days from this evening, the shuttle would arrive at the plateau away from the villages in order to take Kathryn and Chakotay back to Earth.  It was strange, Kathryn realized.  She hadn't even thought of a replicator.

Cherin called Mahtola, Chakotay and Kathryn to stand by him, at which point he told the villagers what the situation was and explained to them both sides of the issue.  He then asked them for their opinions.

There was a quiet buzz at first, as villagers spoke amongst themselves for several moments.  It was difficult to say this with Kathryn and Chakotay standing there, because they liked both of them.  They just didn't think they were the proper ones to raise Mahtola, especially since he was happy with his grandmother.  "Mahtola should not leave Dorvan V.  He shows promise as a healer and has a good set of hands," one of the older villagers spoke out.  Kathryn and Chakotay had known they would be the hardest to convince.  The elders were set in the traditional ways and unwilling to see changes to their beloved society.  Kathryn sympathized, but had always felt that societies should be progressive in nature - traditions just held back excellent potential.  She had not mentioned this to the villagers and decided it would not be a point in her favor.  It would be best for her to keep that quiet.

"Mahtola needs to be taught in the traditional settings.  I do not believe Earth has a sacred grove, or does it?" The villager asked, knowing Earth did not.

"No it does not, however, the spirits can be talked to everywhere.  It is simply easiest in the grove.  Mahtola will be challenged, but the task is not impossible."

"But will he accept the challenge?  Or will he decide it is too difficult and give up?"

"Mahtola has been taught well by you, and we will continue to teach him values of commitment and the importance of the strength of the spirit."

"Mahtola needs someone younger than his grandmother.  She is nearing the end of her life.  Mahtola wishes to be one with the stars.  Why should we not let him?"

There was a quiet murmur at that comment from another elder, though not as old as the others.  "I think it is important that we ask Mahtola what he wants.  Mahtola?"

Mahtola looked at his grandmother then up at Chakotay and Kathryn.  "I want to see the stars.  I want to explore with Kathryn and Chakotay.  I want to live with them.  I love Grandma, but I also love Kathryn and Chakotay." He held tightly to both of their hands and it almost looked like he was their biological child.  His skin was not the same rich hue as Chakotay, but rather a lighter color, a golden honey.  He had blue eyes as few of the natives had, and unruly black hair that seemed just about to break into curls but it never did.  His other grandmother had been Terran, Caucasian, with brilliant blue eyes, and the coloring had been passed to her son and then on to his son.

"He will be a stranger.  He should live among his people until he has come of age.  Then he may join the voyageurs.  Until then his home should be on Dorvan."

The conversation continued, swaying to the negative side, until Kita asked to speak.  "We consider ourselves a fair and just society.  If Mahtola had just decided he wanted to join them now, I would have my doubts.  But he has had a passion for the stars for most of his life, and I believe it is best for him to go.  If he decides he would like to return home, I have no doubt that Kathryn and Chakotay would let him.  Mahtola wishes to go; we must remember and respect that.  Though he is young, he is already wise.  It would not be fair to keep him here when it is not his choice.  I trust Kathryn and Chakotay to care for Mahtola and to teach him our ways.  I am confident enough in our way of life that I can say I am sure Mahtola will choose to follow our traditions and beliefs.  It seems to me," she said, becoming more careful now because she knew she was treading on sensitive ground, "that those who do not want him to go fear that our traditions are not strong enough to stand on their own, that we must force them on him in order for him to respect them.  I think Mahtola sees the value in our beliefs and will continue to follow them.  Chakotay is also a willing guide, and both Kathryn and Chakotay have given their word that they will encourage Mahtola's spirituality."

The remaining days on Dorvan had been spent packing Mahtola's belongings and saying their good-byes to the people of Dorvan.  Many were still unsure about letting the boy go, but he had never looked so happy before, so they were willing to give it a try.  In the middle of the night, Chakotay woke Kathryn and they left the house, Kita having risen to send them on their way with some hot coffee and a final goodbye.  They rode over to Mahtola's house where he was waiting on the porch with Anook.  He hugged her a final time and she cried.  She was not angry that Mahtola was going to live with Kathryn and Chakotay as she might have been, only sad that she could not be with Mahtola all the time and that she could no longer provide what he needed.

They rode on the horses Kita had lent them - one of her sons would ride up when the sun rose later that day and lead them back home - though the ride was slow because they did not know the terrain all that well.  They reached the plateau as the sun was lighting the sky with some time to spare, having left time in case the shuttle arrived early or there were roadblocks along the trail.  Mahtola had more courage than she did, Kathryn decided.  He was leaving his friends, his family, everything he knew, all for the excitement of the adventure and two people he loved even though it was such a short time he had known them.

Mahtola looked up and saw the shuttle in the upper atmosphere and his breath caught.  This was what he had always wanted.  The look of wonder on his face brought a smile to both Kathryn and Chakotay.  They each took one of his hands and picked up their luggage as the shuttle touched down.  They stepped aboard the shuttle to begin a new life.

Their five days on Earth before Voyager was to launch for its final mission with Janeway as Captain were a total blur.  First of all, they had to introduce Mahtola to Earth - it was a whirlwind tour - had to sort through a pile of padds that were as high as Mahtola when stacked on the floor, all non-relevant Starfleet information about their mission (they already knew everything the reports said), about Starfleet activities during the week, and about new officers getting promotions, which was wonderful, but neither of them even knew who Captain Nivor was and the fact that he became an Admiral was not really worthy of 500 lines of text in their opinion.  One would have been quite sufficient.

The only padd that was interesting was the report on Voyager's systems.  Voyager had been updated with temporal shields and torpedoes, a re-fitted phaser bank, more bio-neural gelpacks and the technology that enabled Voyager to maintain warp 9.975 for over an hour without compromising the structural integrity.  They re-equipped Voyager with newer shuttles and gave her new rations and all the supplies that had been lost over the years.

Kathryn spent a lot of time with Mahtola, showing him Earth and her culture, teaching him Standard so they could understand the other without the universal translator which they might not always have.  He was clever and talented and sharp, picking up Standard easily and quickly.  Kathryn wanted to learn the native language as well, and she made Mahtola promise to teach it to her.  When Kathryn wasn't with Mahtola, Chakotay was, and both adults were beginning to get the impression they would have no time to do things as a family.  They knew their new assignments, once they returned from their mission, would be time-consuming, time they wanted to spend with their son.  Mahtola was also beginning to get the impression that Terrans did little as a family besides eat together - something both Kathryn and Chakotay had agreed on as being very important.  With their days, even their evenings so full, they forced themselves to set aside a half-hour at least a day to talk and eat together.  Chakotay showed Mahtola all the technology they had - taught him to work the replicators, took him on a brief shuttle ride, a shuttle Chakotay helmed with Mahtola as his assistant.  The trip delighted the little boy and he told Kathryn all about it when he got home, Chakotay needing to return to his reports.

The final morning, Kathryn brought two mugs of coffee to their office after stretching her aching muscles.  She and Chakotay had been at their desks for eleven hours straight.  They had sat down after Mahtola had gone to bed and had filed flight plans, an itinerary for the mission, star charts they had available, had read up on the entire system they would be charting - strange phenomena, black holes, supernovas, anything out of the ordinary.  The readings they took were to be used in a comprehensive database for the general public about space and Starfleet.  Kathryn figured that anyone that interested in space and Starfleet would join the association, but if those were her orders, she would grit her teeth and bear them.

She and Chakotay had also received a list of the postings of their crew.  They had received their reassignement previously - Chakotay promoted to Ambassador and assigned to the 'Fleet Internal Affairs department, and Kathryn assigned a teaching position at Starfleet Command.  The rest of the crew had been given adequate positions, though only 30% of them had been given shipboard duties.  The rest of them had been spread among the planets and space stations of the Federation.  None had been reassigned to Voyager.

Kathryn and Chakotay had finished packing before they went to her parents' house for their last dinner before Voyager launched.  They weren't taking much because it wasn't a long mission, though since their experience on Voyager, neither one held much attachment to material possessions.  They each had a duffel of clothing and one to share filled with photos and treasures from childhood and other personal items they hated to part with, even for a short while.  They were taking everything of Mahtola's because they wanted him to be as comfortable as possible and part of that meant being surrounded with things that were familiar to him.

Mahtola only had a slight bout of homesickness, on the way to visit her parents, because it made him think of his grandmother and his friends at home.  Kathryn's mother was in for a hell of a shock, considering Kathryn had not told anyone that she and Chakotay had adopted a son.  The only one who knew was Reykoch who had dropped in for a surprise visit, wanting to see what they had picked up on Dorvan, referring, of course, to information on their friends and the village in general.  He had been surprised, to say the least, when he found out what else they had picked up.

At her parents' home, Kathryn rang the chime and Owen came to the door.  He saw the child standing between them and stared, his mouth falling open.  They were still outside, the screen door closed, when Gretchen called, "Who is it, honey?"

Owen Paris found his voice, but only after a few times of opening his mouth without any sound being produced.  "Gretchen, I think you should come here."

Gretchen hurried over, seeing Mahtola and she exhaled, "Sweet mother of god," in shock.

"Can we come in?" Kathryn asked, eyes twinkling.

"Of course." Gretchen opened the door and hurried them in.  "Tom and B'Elanna aren't here yet.  Oh my lord, what did you do?"

Kathryn hid a smile.  "Mahtola, this is my mother, your other grandmother, and your grandfather.  Mom, Dad, this is Mahtola.  We adopted him on Dorvan V."

"When I said bring back a souvenir to prove you went to Dorvan V and not Risa, I certainly didn't mean for you to bring back a child!"

Kathryn laughed and hugged her son tight, kissing the top of his head before she let him go and Owen knelt down and took his hand seriously, shaking it and telling him welcome to the family.

Mahtola giggled and said in his most grown-up voice that he was delighted.  The chime rang again and Gretchen turned her back, threatening that there had better be no more children when she next turned around.  The Torres-Paris crew trooped in once Gretchen had opened the door, and Mahtola looked at them with interest.  He hung back, shyness at not knowing them coming over him, until Kathryn encouraged him, saying "Go and meet your cousins, Mahtola, they won't bite." At those words, B'Elanna and Tom looked up, having been occupied with getting coats and shoes off their children.

"What?" Paris asked in disbelief.  "What did you say, Kathryn?" Owen stood from his crouched position and Paris and B'Elanna saw the little boy who resembled Kathryn and Chakotay, though more Chakotay.

B'Elanna's mouth opened and began working, trying to get some words out, finally she managed, "How did you do that?"

Chakotay laughed.  "Adoption, B'E.  Don't worry - five years did not pass since we last saw you, though that's almost a possibility, considering the amount of work we've all had to do."

Although B'Elanna agreed with Chakotay about the amount of work Starfleet had piled on them, she would not be deterred from the first issue.  "You adopted-" She broke off suddenly and knelt down to speak to Mahtola.  "I'm sorry, I don't know your name.  I'm B'Elanna, Aunt B'Elanna I guess it would be."

"I'm Mahtola.  Do you know what that means?"

"No I don't."

"It means little bear.  Mommy named me before I was born.  My daddy's name was Mahto which means bear, and mommy wanted to name me after him.  He died in the Maquis before I was born.  Mommy died when I was born."

B'Elanna felt tears spring to her eyes.  She hugged Mahtola.  "Well, little bear, I think the name suits you just perfectly.  These are your cousins - Sarana, Palmer and Kaeori.  Say hello to Mahtola," she encouraged her children and they all did.  "I bet Grandma has some cookies for you, and I bet there are toys in the family room.  Maybe you and Palmer can show Mahtola where that is," B'Elanna said to Sarana.  The children entered the family room and the adults retreated to the living room where everyone urged Kathryn and Chakotay to tell them about adopting Mahtola.

They were glad to do so and told all about their vacation to Dorvan.  At the end of the tale, Gretchen said dinner was ready and called the children to the table.  Another place had to be added before they could eat.  Mahtola noticed they did not thank the gods before they ate, but didn't mention it.  Kathryn had told him there would be some differences between what he was used to and what her culture did, but he was not to worry and he could ask her if she wanted.  He decided not to because Sarana had just asked if they could go swimming after supper and Mahtola forgot all about it.

Grandpa agreed, if Tom and Chakotay were willing to go with him, and after dessert, the men and the children replicated swim suits and trunks while the women stayed and talked in the living room, Kaeori having fallen asleep in her mother's arms then lain in the recently-replicated playpen in the family room.

The men and children returned, the children tired out from their swim, and everyone prepared to leave.  It would be an early morning the next day because the departure time was scheduled for 1000hrs and everyone had to be on board at least two hours prior.  The good-byes seemed to have more meaning, though none of them understood why.  It was as if it was expected that this mission would last as long as the previous one had, and that this might be the final chance they had for good-byes.  It was more than a simple "goodbye, see you in a month."

After Kathryn had said a longer goodbye than usual to her mother, she said goodbye to the man she now considered her father.  He hugged her tightly and said, "Fare thee well, dear Kathryn.  You've been like a daughter since the Academy.  If I don't get to see you again, know how proud I am of you and how I will always back your decisions, no matter what they are."

"Owen?"

"There's nothing wrong, Kathryn, I just wanted you to know that... in case our paths don't cross for a long time."

"We're coming back," she said gently.  "Don't go saying all your good-byes now," she chided softly.

He kissed her forehead.  "Follow your heart, Kathryn."

"I will."

She let go and turned to Chakotay and Mahtola who were also ready to leave.  They exited the house calling goodbye as they left.

Back at Kathryn and Chakotay's rented town house, they put Mahtola to sleep and went to bed as well.  As they were undressing, Kathryn mentioned her goodbye with her mother and Owen had been more emotional and more concerned than what she had been expecting.  Chakotay noted that they had been the same with him, and that he had also felt that need to really thank them for accepting him into the family, though he didn't know why.  They would be returning in three weeks; it was silly to act as if they were not coming back.  Perhaps it was just that they remembered the sorrow they had felt at the last mission, also supposed to last about a month, something which slightly unnerved them, though it was superstitious to pay any attention to that fact.  But still.... They were asleep before they finished that thought.

The buzz of the alarm woke them early the next morning.  They had showered and dressed before waking Mahtola who clearly needed more sleep.  He insisted that he wasn't tired and that he had liked meeting Sarana and Palmer yesterday.  Kathryn and Chakotay told him he would be seeing them again today and he was excited.  He'd been nervous about not knowing anyone and not finding any friends, though Kathryn and Chakotay were willing to bet he and Richard Batart would become friends.  The boys were quite similar, and Kathryn was anxious to introduce the two boys.  After breakfast, the Torres-Paris troop arrived in one of Voyager's new shuttles to pick them up.  Sarana and Palmer told Mahtola about Voyager and their friends on the ship and his excitement grew.

Once on Voyager, Kathryn and Chakotay took their luggage to their old quarters - they weren't yet sure how they would handle it because neither of them had a second bedroom where Mahtola could sleep, but they would work something out.  Before long, Sarana and Palmer were at their door asking to show Mahtola around the ship.  Kathryn agreed with a smile.  Just before she and Chakotay made their way to the bridge, she threaded her wedding band on a small gold chain and put it around her neck.  Chakotay did the same since jewelry was not allowed on a Starfleet vessel.  Janeway remembered that before they had arrived back in the Alpha Quadrant she had turned a blind eye to wedding bands or engagement rings.  There was no other jewelry allowed, unless the jewelry was the equivalent of the rings.  No longer could she allow that to be worn.  She was even breaking the rules by wearing the necklace, but she didn't care.  Starfleet was too strict about many things.  This was just one.

Voyager was ready to leave orbit a full half-hour before her scheduled launch; it was just another example of the total efficiency of this crew together.  Never before had Janeway heard of a crew being ready to launch early.  Most often they were late.  Your mistake, Starfleet.  We are a family, and we won't work as well if we are not together.  We want to be together.

Already officers had begun to come up to Kathryn and Chakotay and thank them for being who they were and thank them for all they had done for the crew over the years.  They said they didn't know if they would have another chance, since this mission would be keeping them "so busy" they said, with a roll of their eyes.  They said seriously that it was difficult to find time to talk with Kathryn and Chakotay personally and they wanted to take that opportunity.  Another thing that the crew had learned was to live life as if the current day might be the last.  They lived so they had no regrets and it gave each of them a peace that was not common among other Starfleet officers.

"Alright, we seem ready," Kathryn announced as everyone slipped into their seats or posts.  "Mr. Paris, you know what to do.  Engage."

They were into their second week of their mission.  Mahtola had made many friends and it saddened Kathryn and Chakotay to know that he would have to make a new set when he started school in San Francisco once they returned from their mission.

The crew had easily slipped back into the casualness they had once had, though it was reined in since no one knew how long it would last.  Some of them were leaving Starfleet, since they couldn't stay on Voyager.  Most of those remaining in Starfleet were unhappy with their positions given by the institute, and the rest found theirs acceptable, if not terribly pleasing.  All wanted to stay on Voyager, though it was not possible.  Ensign Haley had said it best when he had said he would rather be an Ensign on Voyager forever than a Lieutenant on space station 52, even with the possibility of advancement.  The Doctor had it the worst.  He tried not to let it show how much it hurt him that he would be deactivated at the end of this mission by the very people who had created him.  He had cried, several times, in the privacy of his office, for what he would be losing.  He did not want to be deactivated.  Even if he had to be put in a museum, he would have accepted that if he could have had visits from the Voyager crew occasionally, but that would not be happening.

Kathryn had cried herself to sleep at night once, when Chakotay had worked the later shift, about the Doctor especially, but about all her crew.  How she wished she could do all they wanted, how she wished she could give them the best jobs available, how she wished she could keep this family together!

She had slept many hours that night, having dragged herself into a sobbing sleep that had not left her rested the next morning.  That day it had been different, she had noticed it, as had the other senior officers.  The entire crew could feel something different about their mission, though they didn't know what it was.  Even the person who radiated that difference herself did not know what that difference was, other than a change of attitude.  She and her crew could be repressed, forced into insulting positions, be split up, but their hearts could not be taken, and in their hearts they would be forever the voyageurs.  She held her head proudly and there was a spark in her eyes and her behavior that had been missing since the start of this assignment.

That night she made an appearance at Sandrine's.  She had frequented the bistro many times over the years in the Delta Quadrant, but had stayed away until now in the Alpha Quadrant.  This was her last mission with these people, she damn well intended to spend it how she wanted.  The hours flew by as she laughed and talked with her crew, getting a feeling she didn't even know she needed to know.  They spoke with fondness of the Delta Quadrant, and one officer had been so fortright as to say he preferred it to the Alpha Quadrant.  While no one else had verbally agreed, Janeway knew many felt that way, herself included.

The next morning, Kathryn crawled out of bed ready to kill Starfleet for inventing early morning meetings.  She had a senior officer's meeting at 0630 and she was not pleased with it.  Starfleet rule dictated that meetings had to be completed before Alpha shift and since there was a reasonable amount on the agenda today, the meeting had to be held early.  Kathryn and Chakotay stopped by the Mess Hall for some coffee - even though there was plenty of power for the replicators, everyone still chose to eat in the Mess Hall, even eat Neelix's food, to which somewhere along the journey they had all gotten attached.

After the staff meeting, Kathryn checked her console.  Good grief, there are another twenty reports from Starfleet, and I checked it last night before going to bed. She called up the first one on the console she shared with Chakotay.

To: Kathryn Janeway 
From: Admiral Nicholson 
Re: Rules and Regulations of Staffs on Intrepid-Class Ships

The notice was about a meeting that had been arranged for the Captain on her return to Headquarters, yet another meeting on what she had 'done wrong' on Voyager as the Captain.

"Fuck this," she said, and though it was quiet, most of the crew heard the most unCaptain-like exclamation and jumped slightly in surprise.  She pushed herself out of her chair, glancing around the bridge, holding a gaze with each of her senior officers who were all on the bridge.  She held a silent conversation with each one of them as well, asking them if they and each member of their staff really wanted to do this.  Each nodded, even Tuvok.  She smiled, sliding back into her chair.  She knew what she had to do now.  They had done it before, they were willing to do it again.  They were willing to give up rations, time off, new holoprograms they could get from the Federation, the safety they had in Starfleet, everything.  They were willing to be the voyageurs, on their own, once again.

"B'Elanna, get our cloaking device on-line, Paris, engage slip-stream technology.  When we reach the wormhole by Deep Space Nine, enter it." They knew the wormhole was off-limits.  Its one ending point was stable - that in the Alpha Quadrant - but the other end jumped wildly.  It could open a whole anywhere in the Quadrant and would not stay in one place long enough for another ship to travel through and arrive at the same location.  Janeway hoped all those theories were true.  "We're leaving this damn Quadrant right now." She was about to order Tuvok to open the ship-wide comm link when she realized that he already had, and that they had heard her orders because of the cheering that filled the bridge.

She knew without a doubt - from hearing the cheers - that this was the right decision to make.  Janeway felt the cloaking device slide into place and Tom stopped his celebrations long enough to program the course and speed into the helm.  As Voyager began its next great adventure, Janeway realized they were flying at the time of sunrise.  It was the perfect beginning to a new day.