Rated: R for sexual content

TELL HIM
by Guinan
tammy@quancon.com

When did things change? That was the only thought going through Kathryn's mind as she sat at her desk in her ready room, staring into a cup of coffee. When did she fall in love with her First Officer? Last night she spent the better part of the night tossing and turning, having very erotic dreams starring none other than Chakotay. She awoke with her nightclothes askew, with a tell tale dampness between her legs and that luscious feeling of a recent orgasm. That's when it hit her, she wanted her First Officer, and not just sex, she was in love with Chakotay. Good lord, she thought, did Chakotay’s feelings for her effect him like this? Did just her presence distract him, as his did her?

For example, this morning while going over the weekly duty rooster, instead of listening to him check off the duty changes, she found herself focusing on his mouth, those lips and how they would feel against hers, how they would taste... Lucky for her he took her excuse of a restless night as an excuse for her daydreaming during a staff meeting. With a stern admonishment to turn in early or else, he returned to the bridge and left Kathryn with a fresh cup of hot coffee, which had long since gotten cold. If this is how Chakotay has felt towards her for the last three years, how has he managed to keep his sanity, for she felt that she would most certainly lose hers if she didn't do something about this soon.

Well missy, she thought, Now what are you going to do about it? All this time, all this talk about "defining parameters." Ha! Just smoke and mirrors really. The fact is that Starfleet did not totally frown on Captains having a relationship with one of the members of their crew. Oh it definitely was not encouraged, but there was no real prohibition of it. And their situation was definitely unique. There would be no serious recriminations from Starfleet about this. She really only used that excuse, well to stall. In fact when Chakotay made his feeling known she still was in love with Mark, dear sweet man.

She knew in her heart he would always love her, but that he had most certainly moved on with his life by now. He was definitely not the type to pine indefinitely over someone who was considered to be dead. Nor would he expect her to wait 60 plus years for him. No, her life was here and now. Whether she never saw earth again or if they found a way home tomorrow, made no difference. Chakotay was whom she wanted.

With that issue settled in her mind, now she needed a way to let Chakotay know she loved him... hmmmm but how, and what if his feelings have changed? She would look like the fool if she just announced her feelings for him and what if his have changed. No, Kathryn didn't think that was the case but, even if he still felt the same, there still was command structure and some protocol to be observed. It wouldn't do for the Captain to go around mooning over her second in command. What I need is a idea...

Just then the door chimed, "Come."

Neelix entered, "Captain, I know that you are aware that I take my duties as morale officer quite seriously."

Kathryn smiled and nodded, "Yes Neelix you certainly are dedicated, I was just going to have a warm up for my coffee, would you care for something?"

"No, thank you Captain"

"Well have a seat, and tell me what is on your mind," to the replicator she ordered, "Computer add coffee 4 ounces hot to my cup."

Sitting across from her desk, Neelix continued, "Captain, I've been going over the data banks in regards to holidays and noted that we could celebrate two old earth holidays which both fall in the next week. One called Christmas and the other called, and excuse me if I don't get the pronunciation, Hawnukca."

Janeway smiled. "You mean Hanukkah"

"Yes, that's it. Both are terran celebrations. The crew has celebrated several different customs, or holidays from other worlds, Bajoran, Vulcan, Klingon, Andorian , but no Terran. In any case, in every case I've requested permission from the most senior officer of the culture who's holiday I want to introduce the crew to before I continue, and since you are the senior human officer, I have come to you for permission." Pausing slightly he continued, "...Captain, may the crew celebrate Christmas and Hanukkah this coming week? Just one combined party possibly in Holodeck 1 set up all day so that all crew members can partake should they wish to after duty hours."

Kathryn sat and thought for a moment. Then she leaned forward smiling, "Why Neelix, I do believe you're a genius!"

The Talaxian looked confused for a moment then smiled, "I am?"

"Yes Neelix, I think that a Christmas/Hanukkah celebration would be a wonderful idea! You have my permission."

"Thank You Captain. Since I'm here let me ask you a question, my information tells me that gifts are exchanged on Christmas?"

Kathryn nodded.

"…ah yes? Well it seems the most logical way to do this is to have the entire crew draw names and that way everyone would only be responsible for one gift, how does that sound?"

"That sounds fine Neelix." The Captain said aloud, but her mind was working furiously in another direction.

"Then I'll announce that there will be a drawing box in the mess hall containing every crewmembers name for them to draw from. Thank You Captain"

"No, Thank you Neelix." Neelix looked puzzled for a second as she continued, "Thank you for doing your job, both your jobs - Morale officer and cook so well. I'm afraid we don't say it enough, but I think Voyager would be lost in more ways than one with out you, Thank You."

The small man smiled and scurried away headed to arrange his latest celebration.

In the mean time Kathryn sat at her desk thinking with a smile... Yes this could work, if I know my First Officer at all it could work just fine...

One week later

Kathryn finished brushing her hair, securing it in a simple french braid tied at the end with a velvet ribbon of forest green, matching her outfit. She wore a long loose satin blouse over her pants, made of form fitting velour, both the same dark shade of green, off setting her dark auburn hair. A simple pair of slip-on shoes and a splash of scent on her pulse points and she was ready for the Christmas party.

On her vanity were two gifts, wrapped with red and green paper. The one with the white bow was for Seven, who's name she had selected, the other, with the gold bow was for Chakotay. That is if, as she suspected, he would have a gift for her as well as for his chosen recipient. A gift to be given in private, so not to embarrass his Captain in front of his crew. That had been his way on each of her birthdays here in the delta quadrant so she had no reason to think he would not do so for Christmas as well. It had taken some doing to find out for sure that he had not drawn her name, for if he had it would have made her plan more difficult. But he didn't, in fact he drew Tom Paris' name for which he gladly traded with B'Elanna in exchange for Harry's. It seemed as much as Chakotay didn't have a clue as to what to give Tom, B'Elanna had a perfect idea. One that she refused to share claiming it a surprise.

Kathryn entered the Holodeck, she noticed right away that Neelix had indeed out done himself. The decorations while some a little strange, were quite beautiful. A gorgeous 9-ft pine tree standing in the middle of the room, decorated with lights and tinsel of sorts, ornaments of unknown origin abounded. On every table was a lovely Menorah, no two alike. There were dreidles, advent calendars full of prizes. Neelix himself was dressed as a makeshift Santa Claus, looked more like a mismatched elf. And in the midst of the buffet table, serving as centerpiece, was a beautiful Nativity complete with wisemen, shepherds and the strangest looking sheep. The entire Holodeck was a definite holiday delight, a true mixture of both the Judaism and Christian holidays.

As she looked around she noted it seemed that almost everyone not on duty was already there. Her entire senior staff was already in attendance, she noticed Chakotay almost immediately. He was watching her and smiled at her when their eyes met. Kathryn smiled back and quickly busied herself mingling among the crew. But not before noting how good he looked, tight black jeans, cream colored cotton shirt open at the collar, sleeves rolled up to the elbow, oh my, time for a drink.

Turning to Neelix she asked, "So what is the drink special tonight Neelix?"

"Well Captain, we tried to replicate something called Egg Nog, but raw it was definitely unappealing, and cooked it was closer to a breakfast food. Not having a recipe to follow made it difficult, so we settled on Hot Toddies for which Tom assures he had a authentic recipe, also we have something Mr. Tuvok tells me he enjoyed while at the Academy during holiday times, Apple Cider."

Kathryn decided on the apple cider and went to place her gift under the large decorated pine tree. After selecting some items onto her plate Kathryn made her way to the table where most of her senior staff were sitting and took her place between Tuvok and Chakotay.

Soon Neelix, the self appointed Santa Claus began calling out names and the gifts were passed out, Kathryn received a lovely book of poetry from Harry, Harry received a new set of reeds for his clarinet from Chakotay and promised everyone he would learn a new tune for the next talent night. Although Seven did not really understand the significance of Christmas she seemed pleased at the gift Kathryn had given her, it was a collection of fictional works.

But the highlight of the evening was B'Elanna's gift to Tom, he opened it and inside were two cigars, one wrapped with a blue bow which read, "It's a Boy! and the other with a pink bow which read, "It's a Girl! Tom looking very confused for a moment, then suddenly the message dawned on him. With eyes wide, he asked "Bel, do you mean.... I mean are you.... Um I mean did we.... are we...... PREGNANT!!" After a swallow of his hot toddy, he looked at B'Elanna shaking her head yes and smiling.... "Oh Boy!! I'm gonna have a Baby!!!!!!" With that he scooped her up kissing and laughing. B'Elanna said laughing, "Put me down you pig, I'm the one who's pregnant!"

Everyone applauded and cheered, another baby on Voyager, things were certainly changing.

The music played, and everyone it seemed was dancing at one time or another, when Kathryn danced with Tom, she offered her congratulations, it was obvious he was on cloud nine. When the song ended another began and Chakotay who had been dancing with B'Elanna walked over to Kathryn. "Care to dance Captain?"

"Hm, <yawn> oh, sorry Commander I guess I'm not use to late nights anymore. No I think I'll turn in."

"Wait, I'll walk with you, I've just about had all the fun I can take tonight also." And together they made their way to the door.

The Turbolift ride was pleasant, they chatted about the party's success and the possibility of doing it again next year and of course about their impending new passenger. When they arrived at her door, Kathryn turned as if to say goodnight. Chakotay was looking at her with an almost unreadable emotion in his eyes.

"Chakotay, care to come in for a nightcap? It seems I'm less sleepy than I though, I guess I was just tired of the festivities."

"Why, yes I would Kathryn, could you excuse me for a sec, I need to check on something in my quarters first"

"Of course, just let yourself in when you're done," and she watched him go into his quarters.

After entering her own, she slipped off her shoes, and loosened her bra, slipping it off also. She went to the replicator and ordered up two brandy snifters and a decanter of brandy. Just as she was placing them on the table in front of the couch the doors opened and in came Chakotay.

"Kathryn.... I know we were only suppose to choose gifts for the name we drew... but I couldn't let the holiday pass without giving you something. Please take this with my sincere wishes, Merry Christmas."

Kathryn smiled. "Thank You," she said softly and accepted the gift. Motioning him to sit, she first poured their glasses and then as they sipped their brandies she proceeded to unwrap the gift. "Ohhh, Chakotay, it's lovely!" There in her hand sat a small snowball, with a little log cabin, complete with skaters on a pond, just like one she had as a child and which broke. He must have remembered her telling that story awhile ago and recreated one for her. "Thank you, it's lovely..."

She hesitated for a minute, setting the snowball on the table and taking a drink of her brandy for courage as he watched her. "I too have a gift for you." She stood up and went into her sleeping area and came back with the small package with the gold bow. "Merry Christmas Chakotay," she said softly. Sitting next to him on the couch, on her knees turned so she was facing him as he opened the package, in his hands lay a small bundle of three tiny green leaf branches. On each branch were small clusters of white berries they were tied together with a red velvet ribbon.

Looking slightly confused he turned to her " I'm not sure what this is?"

Kathryn taking the bundle from his hands, "Well it a old earth Christmas custom, at Christmas time people would hang this from doorways and according to tradition you are suppose to kiss a person when they are under it."

And with that she raised the bundle above his head. Leaning forward, slowly her lips met his, ever so carefully, the touch of his lips sent a shiver through her very soul. Stirrings in her most center as Chakotay responded to her tentative touch parting his lips to allow her to deepen the kiss. After a few minutes she pulled back slightly looking into his eyes leaving him no doubt of her intentions. Kathryn began slowly easing him back to lie down on the couch. Kathryn stretched out her length on top of him. Their hands began busily removing the barriers of clothing. Kathryn's blouse and Chakotay's shirt in a pile beside them, the contact of their bare skin had a electric effect on both of them. Chakotay's hands undoing her braid, allowing him to bury his hands in her hair.

Trailing kisses down his bare chest, her hands had found a new quest. Busily undoing the button and zipper, her hands soon found the object of their quest. The touch of her hand on his burgeoning erection caused it to surge into her hand becoming even harder than she thought was possible. Chakotay eased his jeans down over his hips as she removed the remains of her own clothing. Kneeling beside him grasping the hard shaft as it stood at attention, she could hear him hiss an intake of breath as her tongue circled the tip, running down the shaft of his long erection and back up again before taking as much of him as she could into his mouth. Slowly she worked him, up and down gently sucking, playfully raking her teeth over the sensitive flesh. Taking great pleasure in her work as one hand she caressed his sac, the other applying pressure just below the base.

Realizing that he was now very close to release, Kathryn straightened herself and positioned herself directly above him, teasing just out of reach for a second she then lowered herself slowly impaling herself on the hardened shaft. The sensation of his filling her so completely was enough to send her over the edge, with a moan and calling out his name, as her inner walls constricted in ecstasy. They began to move in sync, creating a rhythm, meeting each other thrust for thrust. Chakotay with expertise sat up without breaking stride, repositioned them so that he was now on top. Kathryn cried out in ecstasy once again as Chakotay called her name while he too came crashing over the edge, filling her with his desire. Exhausted they lay together, softly kissing.

Kathryn, softly said, "I love you Chakotay, with all my heart."

Chakotay closed his eyes for a second, in silent thanks. Opening his eyes he said, "Your gift completes me...."

**Chirp**

Bridge to Captain Janeway"

Kathryn opened her eyes. "Janeway here, report." She replied in a husky voice.

"Sorry to wake you Captain," Chakotay paused, "but you did ask to be notified when we reached the next system with a M-class planet rich in duridium. We will be entering such a system in approximately one hour."

"Thank You Commander, I'll be there shortly. Janeway out." Kathryn stretched, remnants of the dream still with her, the feeling of sexual satisfaction, along with the tell tale wetness between her legs. hmmmm... Kathryn rose to the bathroom and began running a bath, with a smile.

"Janeway to Neelix."

"Neelix here Captain, what can I do for you?"

"Tell me Mr. Neelix, just what do you know about... Christmas?"

Smiling as she stepped into her bath...