Author's note: This is a departure from my past stories, in that parts of it deal with technical matters and there is a copious amount of technobabble present in some parts. Any errors made are mine alone-it's a lot easier for me to write about feelings than phasers, please accept these errors in the spirit which they were written. Damn it, I'm a quasi-romance novelist not an engineer! ;)

      JLPresley@aol.com

 "And I'm holding on tight

Thinking of you"

Home. At times, Kathryn Janeway had thought she would never see Earth again. When times had been trying, the images of her home and life on Earth had danced tantalizingly out of reach. But finally she was back, her feet firmly planted on the soil of her birth.

Had it really happened? Was she just dreaming? As she wrapped her arms around her waist, she turned her face upwards, basking in the warmth of the sun, remembering.

********

"Captain. I’m detecting elevated levels of tetryon particles at bearing 227.4." Ensign’s Kim’s voice shook with barely concealed excitement. Janeway’s heart clenched and she looked at Chakotay sitting on her left. He was watching her, anticipation evident in his gaze. He nodded at her, answering her unasked question.

"Tom, set course for the anomaly. Harry, can you detect any other signs that would prove a wormhole exists?" Janeway asked, trying hard not to let anticipation enter her voice. After the fiasco with the Barzan Wormhole, she had dreaded having their hopes dashed once again. They had been through so much together, and it broke her heart each time a chance to get home was snatched from them.

"Yes! Captain, I’ve got it now!" Kim’s sudden exclamation jolted her out of her reverie. "Transferring to main viewer." He pushed a few buttons and suddenly the viewscreen was filled with the shimmering colors and energy of a large wormhole.

Paris whistled under his breath. "Would you look at that!"

Janeway stood and moved closer to the screen, as if will alone would allow her to peer deep into the wormhole’s hidden recesses. "Ready a probe. I want to see if the wormhole is stable and if we can find where it leads."

"Aye, Captain." Lieutenant Torres moved around the engineering station furiously. "Probe ready, Captain."

Janeway turned and smiled. "Launch the probe, B’Elanna. Let’s see what we’re dealing with." She returned to her seat. "This could take a while. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves."

One hour later, everyone was still waiting in anticipation for the information from the probe. The level of excitement on the bridge was palpable, and it had spilled over to the rest of the ship. With the gossip lines so firmly entrenched on Voyager, it hadn’t taken long before the entire crew knew that they had discovered another wormhole.

As the probe readings filtered back through the immense energy created by the singularity, Janeway’s nervousness increased. The wormhole appeared stable, and there were no signs of overwhelming energy levels within, Voyager would be able to pass through safely.

Finally, Torres spoke the words that they had been waiting to hear. "The probe has emerged on the other side, Captain."

Chakotay looked at Torres. "Can you tell anything about the area of space that end is located in, Lieutenant?"

Torres conferred with Kim, and the sight of his face breaking into an enormous smile answered the question before he even spoke. "Captain-it’s the Alpha Quadrant!"

Janeway’s heart leapt into her throat as his words penetrated fully. This was the moment she had been waiting three long years for. "Is there any signs of temporal fluctuations in the wormhole or surrounding area?"

"Negative, Captain. I’ve scanned the entire area and..." Kim stopped suddenly, his eyes widening. "We’re being hailed by someone on that side!"

Janeway jumped to her feet. "Put it on the screen, Harry." She barely noticed as Chakotay rose to his feet to stand behind her.

A spare man in a gray and red Starfleet uniform, standing on the bridge of a Galaxy class ship appeared. "This is Captain Anthony Morris of the U.S.S. Victory. Who..." He looked shocked as he got a better look at Janeway. "Captain Janeway? Captain Kathryn Janeway of Voyager?"

A broad smile filled her face as she straightened. "Yes, Captain. My crew and I have been traveling in the Delta Quadrant for three years. We were drawn here by an entity while in the Badlands." Janeway looked up at Chakotay before continuing. "I would like permission to bring my ship home."

Morris chuckled. "Of course, Captain. Welcome home. I’m anticipating hearing your story. Morris out." He nodded as his image was replaced by visuals of the wormhole.

"Mr. Paris, set course to take us through the wormhole. Attention all decks. This is Captain Janeway. After three years, we will be re-entering the Alpha Quadrant shortly. Prepare for a bumpy ride as we travel through the wormhole." She hesitated momentarily before continuing. "It has been an honor to serve with you. No Captain has ever commanded such a fine and dedicated crew, and I thank you for the devotion you have shown. I also want you to know I will do everything in my power to help those former Maquis. We couldn’t have done it without you. Janeway out."

As she resumed her seat in her command chair, Chakotay reached over and held out his hand. Janeway took it, smiling at him and they stared at each other for a long moment. Their hands were still clasped when she spoke.

"Mr. Paris, set a course through the wormhole and engage at impulse power when ready. Let’s go home."

********

They traveled through the wormhole and emerged in the Alpha Quadrant a day's journey from Earth. Immediately after passing through it, the singularity closed, with no evidence that it had ever existed.

They were met by the Victory and were given a heroes escort home. Janeway went to bat for her Maquis crew as soon as she could contact Starfleet Command. Admiral Necheyev promised to take her logs into consideration but demanded that they be turned in for questioning.

It was a bittersweet moment when the Manitoba arrived to take them into custody. Janeway and Chakotay shared a private goodbye in her cabin. She was crying and he held her until her sobs ceased.

"Kathryn. It'll be all right. They won't hold us for long." Chakotay tried to reassure her, as much as himself. "Just remember, I will come back to you."

She smiled up at him and nodded. "I know you will." She inhaled, the breath shuddering through her. "We had better go. The Manitoba should be arriving in a few minutes."

He leaned down and kissed her gently-their first kiss. "Okay, I'm ready." He wiped the remainder of the tears from her cheeks and they exited her cabin.

When they reached the shuttle bay, they found the entire crew packed in, saying their goodbyes. Paris and Torres were wrapped in an embrace, he was whispering words of love and comfort to her as she tried to remain stoic. Janeway and Chakotay circulated through the crew, saying farewell to everyone, until Admiral Necheyev arrived.

"All former Maquis rebels, come forward." Necheyev's snarl echoed throughout the cavernous room. Led by Chakotay, they stepped forward and lined up, snapping to attention as if they were all Starfleet cadets. Necheyev looked surprised for a moment, before gesturing for Security officers to secure the prisoners and escort them on board the shuttlecraft.

The last Janeway saw of Chakotay, he was striding proudly onto the shuttlecraft, stopping only to turn and salute her. She returned the gesture as he disappeared.

********

Since returning to Earth 5 days ago, she had been in constant contact with Admiral Necheyev's office, trying to ascertain the status of her former crewmates. Each time, her inquiries were rebuffed with a terse message. The Maquis traitors were being debriefed and would be released shortly. She had not been able to find out if those that wished would be allowed officially into Starfleet, but the prospects were favorable, seeing as how the Federation and the Dominion were on the verge of an all-out war.

Janeway sighed as her thoughts returned to Chakotay. She had never had a chance to tell him how much she cared, and...

"Kath?" A familiar voice called her name. She spun around, her eyes widening at the sight of the man standing a few feet away.

"Mark!" Janeway smiled as he came forward and caught her in his embrace. "It's so good to see you again." She pulled away, touched at the sight of tears rolling down his face.

"Oh, Kath. You don't know what this means to me. I've waited all this time for you." Mark spoke, his voice choked with emotion. "I knew you were alive."

Shocked, Janeway's mind whirled. "Oh, Mark. You've waited for me? You shouldn't have, you should have gone on with your life." Guilt filled her at the thought. She had been ready to move on and had hoped he would have also.

Mark frowned. "No, of course I waited. I love you, Kath, I always have." He leaned down and kissed her.

The kiss was different than those Janeway remembered. It almost seemed like that of a close relative. The feelings she had once harbored for him had changed. Perhaps she had never really cared for him as much as she had thought. His next words caught her off guard.

"Kath, I know you've been gone a long time. But my feelings haven't changed, and I want to ask you to be my wife."

"I... I've only been home 5 days, Mark. I can't marry you now. There is so much we have to talk about, so much time that we've missed." She stammered, not wanting to crush him with a straight refusal. How could she even begin to tell him about Chakotay at this point in time?

Mark laughed, "Oh, I suppose this is a bit sudden. I'll let it sink in for a few days. Now, come on. Your mother sent me out to tell you dinner is ready." He turned and began walking back towards the house as she blindly followed him. Suddenly he turned. "I forgot to tell you. A message came in while you were out here. They are going to be holding a welcome home gala at Starfleet Academy for you and your crew in a week. And those Maquis people will be released the same day."

Janeway's heart leapt for joy at his words. It seemed like a lifetime since she had last seen Chakotay. After three years of seeing him on a daily basis, she couldn't wait until they could share their whole lives together. One week, Chakotay. Then we'll have forever.

Janeway burst into a huge smile as Paris and Torres entered the ballroom with their arms wrapped around each other. "Tom, B'Elanna. How are you doing?" They had never looked as happy as they did now.

Torres beamed as she rushed forward to hug her former Captain. "It's so wonderful to see you again, Captain."

"Kathryn, please. After all we've been through, I think you can call me by my first name tonight." She pulled back slightly to look at Torres. "Did they treat you all right? How's..." Her voice trailed off as Torres shook her head.

"No, they didn't try to harm anyone that I know of. Necheyev and her cronies just asked a lot of questions." She cocked her head. "I haven't seen Chakotay. He was kept from the rest of us. No one has seen or heard anything."

Janeway bit her lip, concern falling on her face. She had demanded to be present when the former Maquis were released, but Necheyev had denied her request. She seemed to take pleasure in thwarting Janeway's every desire.

Paris spoke up, his gaze directed at Janeway. "He's okay, Cap... Kathryn. My dad would have known if they were going to try something. I've told him all about Commander Chakotay."

"You've managed to mend fences with your dad, Tom? I'm glad to hear it. I know how proud of you he must be." Janeway turned as Mark strolled up to them, carrying a drink. She had never known him to drink before, but he seemed to have picked up the habit while they were gone.

"Mark McKenzie, I'd like you to meet Thomas Paris and B'Elanna Torres. They are two of my most valued officers, and friends."

The men shook hands. "It's nice to meet you both. Kathryn has told me so much about you all, I feel like I know you." Mark greeted them, and then turned to look at Janeway. "We should go mingle with some of the brass."

She frowned at him. "In a few minutes, I want to talk to Tom and B'Elanna right now." He sulked, staring into his drink.

"Actually, we have a favor to ask you, as our Captain." Paris spoke up, dismissing the other man's rudeness. "I've asked B'Elanna to marry me, and she's accepted. We would like for you to perform the ceremony."

"Congratulations!" Janeway beamed. "I would be honored. Have you set a date?"

Torres punched him lightly on the arm. "No, not yet. We were going to wait until things have settled down. But he'd like it as soon as possible." The glow in her eyes gave away her excitement. Her attention was caught by someone walking into the room. "Chakotay!"

Janeway whirled, forgetting all about Mark. She watched Chakotay as he made his way confidently through the crowd, feasting on the sight of him in a dress uniform. Obviously he had chosen to remain in Starfleet.

"Hello Tom, B'Elanna. Captain." He nodded at her, the happiness evident in his gaze. Surrounded by all the Starfleet brass, he didn't dare hug her, but his eyes spoke volumes. He absentmindedly shook hands with Paris and hugged Torres, but Janeway was his focus.

Their interest in each other was noted by another person. Instinctively, he recognized the undercurrents between the large Indian and Janeway. Mark glared at Chakotay for a moment, before hiding his ire in an expression of boredom. "Ah, so you are Commander Chakotay. I'm Mark McKenzie."

"How do you do?" Chakotay nodded in greeting. So this was Mark. By the look of him, he had been drinking quite a bit. Chakotay also hadn't missed the animosity in his countenance.

Janeway looked at Mark nervously before returning her attention to her former First Officer. He looked wonderful, albeit a little tired after his experience. "Tom and B'Elanna were just telling us that they plan on getting married. They've asked me to perform the ceremony."

"I'd like to ask you to give me away, Chakotay." Torres smiled rather shyly. "You have been my friend and mentor for a long time now."

He accepted. "It would mean a lot to me, B'Elanna. I look forward to it." He glanced at Paris. "You had better take care of her, or you'll have me to answer to." His smile gave away his humor.

Paris laughed. "Trust me, B'El is quite capable of defending herself." He groaned dramatically as she punched him again. "I think I'm the one who should be worried. If you'll excuse us now, we need to go tell Harry he's going to be my best man. Mr. McKenzie, nice to meet you." They escaped, leaving the other three alone.

Chakotay glanced at Mark before looking at Janeway. "They are allowing me to rejoin and get my commission back. I've been reinstated as a full Commander but I don't know yet what my posting will be."

"I'm glad to hear it. Voyager is being refitted, and I'll need a First Officer, if Starfleet Command would allow it." Janeway wrinkled her nose. "I don't think I could get used to someone else in that position." They both laughed as Mark scowled.

"I was hoping you'd offer. I couldn't think of a better Captain I'd like to serve under." Chakotay smirked, hoping Mark wouldn't catch the hidden meaning. He had missed her so much, and was slightly confused by the amount of hostility emanating from the other man. Chakotay didn't know if it was the drink or whether Janeway had broken off the relationship. He hoped it was the latter.

Janeway snorted at his choice of words. "I'm so glad to hear it, Commander."

Mark took the chance to murmur something about refilling his drink and disappeared.

Janeway and Chakotay exchanged worried glances, before he moved closer to her and took her hand.

"I've missed you Kathryn." He scrutinized her face. "I was hoping you would come today when we were released."

"I tried, but Necheyev wouldn't allow it. She said she didn't want a lot of attention cast on it. I guess she's worried that people will think they let you off easy." Her eyes devoured him. "I missed you too."

He was just about to speak, when Admiral Necheyev walked up to them, Mark following her. Her sharp gaze didn't miss their clasped hands. "Captain, Commander."

"Admiral. Good evening." Janeway squeezed Chakotay's hand gently before releasing it to face the Admiral fully.

"Mr. McKenzie just told me the wonderful news." Necheyev held out her hand. "Congratulations, Captain."

Janeway shook it, her confusion showing in her gaze. "Thank you. But shouldn't you be congratulating Lieutenants Paris and Torres themselves? I'm just officiating."

"Oh, they are getting married too? I didn't know. But no, Mr. McKenzie said he's asked you to marry him and that you accepted." Necheyev seemed to take delight in the shock on Janeway's face.

Chakotay's breath caught in his throat as he looked at Janeway, bewilderment and pain evident in his gaze. He didn't know what to do or say. He kept waiting for Janeway to deny it. Janeway stared at Mark. He was obviously enjoying the moment. She hesitated, not wanting to cause a scene in front of the Admiral and in a crowded ballroom. She waited a moment too long.

Chakotay spoke woodenly. "Captain, Mr. McKenzie. Congratulations." He nodded to Necheyev before turning and walking away.

Necheyev ignored the tension between Janeway and Mark. "Well, I see Admiral P'Nal coming in. You two enjoy the rest of the evening." She sauntered off, looking extremely pleased with herself.

"How could you? How could you tell a lie like that Mark? I never said I'd marry you." Janeway's eyes filled with unshed tears. She glanced around, trying to find Chakotay, but he was gone.

Mark smiled coldly, all traces of humor gone. "I love you Kath. And I know you still love me. Besides, what do you care what they think? Necheyev is a hag and Chakotay is no better than a murderer and a traitor." He rolled his eyes. "I can't believe Starfleet is going to let him back into that uniform."

Janeway could only stare at him. He was no longer the man she had once thought she loved. He had changed while they were lost, and she didn't like the man he had become. And how could Chakotay believe him? Didn't he realize how much she cared?

"You're wrong, Mark. I don't love you. I don't even like you." She gave him one last pitying glance and left him to his drink. She maneuvered through the crowd, until she found Torres and Paris, who were talking with Ensigns Kim and Wildman.

"Samantha, Harry." Her anxiety coloring her voice, she turned to Torres. "B'Elanna, have you seen where Chakotay went?"

Concern evident, Torres replied. "Yes, he left a few minutes ago. He looked angry. What happened?"

Janeway shook her head. "I have to find him. Do you know where he's staying?"

"No, but if you hurry you might catch him."

Nodding her understanding, Janeway hurried out the door and through the dimly lit corridors. She emerged into the cool San Francisco air, searching through the fog for a glimpse of Chakotay. She started walking towards the fountain, when she saw him standing near the cliff overlooking the bay.

Sobbing in relief, she picked up her skirt and ran over to him. His eyes bleak, he didn't acknowledge her presence when she reached him.

"Chakotay, please talk to me. Mark lied, I'm not marrying him." Desperate for him to believe her, she placed her hand on his arm. "Please, you have to believe me."

He turned his hooded gaze towards her. "I don't know, Kathryn. First, he was your lover before we were trapped in the Delta Quadrant. Next, it's apparent you've spent a lot of time with him since coming home, and you did bring him with you tonight. And also, Tom was there when B'Elanna was released, but you weren't there for me." He tried to hurt her as he had been. "And you are not denying that he asked you to marry him."

"Yes, he did ask me to marry him, but I never said yes. I love you, not him." She pleaded with him to understand. "Why would I lie to you about Necheyev forbidding me to come see you released? You could just ask her."

Chakotay closed his eyes, fighting a battle with himself. She seemed like she was telling the truth, but why would she have allowed Mark to get away with making that claim? Finally, he heaved a sigh and opened his eyes. Janeway was looking at him, tears pouring down her cheeks.

"Kathryn, I believe you." He sucked in his breath as joy filled her face. "But, I don't think I can handle a relationship with you now.

She staggered back a step. "But why?"

"I just can't right now. We need some time apart, I need to think. Tonight has shown me that you aren't ready for a commitment. You need to come to terms with your relationship with Mark." He smiled sadly. "Goodbye, Kathryn." For the second time that night, he left her.

"Kathryn, I know you're there. Please call me...I want to apologize for my behavior. I'm sorry."

Janeway sighed. This was the third time he had called and she hadn't returned either of his previous messages. In the week since the party, her anger at Mark had decreased, but she still didn't want to talk to him.

"Chakotay." She buried her head in her hands, the unbidden tears rising to the surface. But now, the tears were more of anger than sorrow. Questions taunted her every waking hour. How could he? Didn't the fact that she had gone after him meant anything? And more disturbing, what could she have done differently?

A chime at the door startled her. She sat straighter in her chair, and called, "Come." Her voice cracked slightly from the strain.

Torres and Paris walked in, both looking worried. "Tom, B'Elanna. Is there a problem?"

"No, Captain." Torres bit her lip, as if not sure of what to say. "We came to see how you were doing... and to tell you."

"I'm perfectly fine, Lieutenant. Tell me what?" Janeway's eyebrow raised. Her personal life really wasn't any of their business, but it meant a lot to her that they so obviously cared.

"Chakotay's gone. He accepted the position as First Officer on the Zavala and they left this morning to help shore up the fleet around DS9 in case of an attempt by the Dominion to retake the station." Paris looked at Torres before continuing. "I thought he was coming back to Voyager. Does this have something to do with the other night?"

Janeway frowned at him, trying to decide whether to answer him or throw him out of her ready room. Finally, she realized she would need their help if she was ever going to get Chakotay to listen to her again. "I haven't spoken to him, but yes, I guess it does. Mark told her we were engaged and Chakotay believed him. That's why he left the party and I went after him."

Torres swore. "But he knows McKenzie lied, doesn't he? I assumed when you never came back, you had found him."

"Yes, I did find him and when I explained to him that Mark lied, he said he believed me. But that he didn't want to pursue a relationship with me because I wasn't over Mark." Her anger increased with every word. "Damn him!"

Janeway got up and moved around her desk to stare out her window. Even now, the sight of Earth revolving slowly in the distance was enough to calm her. "Well, there's nothing I can do about it now. Maybe the time apart will give him a chance to think about everything. I can tell you though, that if he has such little faith in me, after everything we've been through, I don't think a relationship would work either."

Paris opened his mouth to speak, just as her combadge chirped. "Captain Janeway, incoming priority one message from Starfleet Command."

"Acknowledged. Please route to the terminal in my ready room, Ensign." Janeway returned to her chair as Paris and Torres exited the room.

"Captain Janeway." Admiral Col'sha's grim visage filled the screen. "I'm afraid we are going to have to mobilize you sooner than expected. Voyager will be departing in 2 hours to join the fleet at DS9. The Dominion/Cardassian fleet is headed towards the station and Bajor."

Janeway nodded. "I understand, but I am still not fully staffed. I have been informed that I no longer have a First Officer, plus my Security Officer is on Vulcan."

"I realize that fact, Captain. Commander Tuvok will rendezvous with Voyager, and will function in both capacities for the time being. The rest of your crew will be beaming up within the hour. When the transfers are complete, you may leave." The Admiral spoke to someone then returned his attention to Janeway. "When you arrive at the fleet's coordinates, report to Captain Sisko on the Defiant. Since this is his operation, he will be in charge of setting up the defense perimeter. Good luck and god speed, Captain."

"Yes, Admiral. Thank you." Janeway hesitated, then hit her combadge. "This is Captain Janeway. We have received new orders and will be departing within 2 hours. The Dominion is attacking and we will be joining the defensive perimeter surrounding Bajor. Senior staff report to the conference room in 10 minutes." She left her ready room, all thoughts of Chakotay banished to the corners of her mind. 

"Captain's Personal Log, stardate ------. It still seems odd to be seeing so many new faces on Voyager. It has been hard for those who journeyed with me throughout the Delta Quadrant to be missing Commander Chakotay, Kes and Neelix, and so many others who chose to not return to Voyager or to Starfleet. It is nice to have Tuvok back, now a Commander, and my new First Officer. I have missed his counsel, as I now miss that of Commander Chakotay."

She did miss Chakotay. It amazed her how much she missed him, even after their fight. And for him to be so close, yet so unapproachable. There hadn't been any need for contact between Voyager and the Zavala, as they were deployed at opposite ends of the perimeter. Janeway's attention wandered the bridge. It was reassuring to have Paris back at the helm, and Kim at ops. There were new faces at the other stations, and it was still somewhat disorienting to see Tuvok sitting in Chakotay's place.

"Captain, I'm picking up something on long range scanners." Kim's voice was guarded, a sign that he didn't like what he was seeing.

"Can you tell what it is, Lieutenant?" Janeway turned slightly, catching Tuvok's gaze. There had been reports over the past few hours of a group of Dominion squadron moving towards them. The trader that had brought the information hadn't been able to tell them much, as their sensors were destroyed in a sneak attack by the aggressors.

"Yes, ma'am. A fleet of 8 small fighters and 2 large attack cruisers are headed this way, bearing 384.7 and traveling at Warp 5. They will arrive in 8 minutes."

Tuvok's calm voice pierced the bridge. "Shields up, all hands to battle stations. Yellow alert." He made his way back to the security station, dismissing Ensign Barlow. "Phasers are on-line, Captain."

"Thank you Tuvok. Ensign, hail the Antioch and the Defiant." Janeway nodded as Captains Sisko and M'Tok answered her hail. "There is a Dominion attack force headed our way. Estimate arrival in less than 6 minutes."

Sisko barked an order to his crew then returned his attention to Janeway. "We will be there shortly, Captain, along with the Navitor and the Shi'nara. Do not engage them unless they fire upon you first. Hopefully, they are just another reminder from the Dominion that they are out there. Sisko out."

"Captain Janeway, we will take the right flank and back you up." M'Tok smiled. Only the second Klingon to graduate from Starfleet Academy and the first to be given command of a starship, he was in his element. "This is a good day to die."

Janeway shook her head ruefully. "Understood, though I hope that won't be necessary Captain, but thanks for the thought." She smiled as he threw back his head and laughed, before his image vanished from the viewscreen.

"Janeway to Torres. What is our status?"

"Torres here, Captain. All systems are operational, I have redirected power to the shields and phasers. The warp engines are on-line and I can give you speed up to Warp 9.98 sustained." She sounded pleased, a welcome change.

"Thank you, B'Elanna." Janeway turned to look at Kim. "Status of the Dominion ships, Harry?"

"They have entered hailing range, Captain, and will arrive in less than a minute."

"Acknowledged. Mr. Tuvok, take us to Red Alert please." Janeway straightened in her chair as the enemy squadron appeared on the viewscreen. "Open a hailing frequency, Mr. Kim."

She stood and raised her chin proudly. "This is Captain Kathryn Janeway of the U.S.S. Voyager." She was about to continue when a sneering Cardassian appeared.

"This is Gul Tarak of Cardassia and the Dominion. We have come to regain our rightful property, Terek Nor. You will not get in our way, or if you do, prepare to die."

"Deep Space Nine," Janeway placing emphasis on each word, "Is Starfleet property now, not Cardassian. We do not wish to fight, but be warned, we will protect our property." Her narrowed eyes bored into his.

"Then, Captain Janeway, you and your weak Federation will die." Tarak nodded at someone out of sight. "Fire." As his image faded, Janeway returned to her seat.

"Brace for impact." She gripped the arms of her command chair as a barrage of phaser fire and torpedoes slammed into Voyager's shields. "Mr. Tuvok, return fire."

The ship shook from side to side as the battle raged. What seemed like hours passed and Janeway barely acknowledged when Kim informed her that their backup had arrived. The Defiant and the Navitor joined Voyager in engaging the battle cruisers while the Shi'nara provided extra firepower to the Antioch to battle the fighters.

Suddenly, Janeway's attention was caught by a reading on her screen. "What the... Mr. Paris, evasive maneuver alpha theta 2. Now!"

Paris' swift hands moved over his board, but it was too late. One of the Dominion ships had beamed a graviton mine in front of Voyager, and it exploded less than 200 meters away. The resulting shockwave hit Voyager directly on the saucer section, and Janeway's world went black.

"Defiant to all Starfleet vessels. We are under attack. Repeat. We are under attack. Voyager has been hit by a gravitic mine and needs immediate medical assistance." Captain Sisko's voice blared out of the speakers on the Zavala's bridge.

Kathryn! Chakotay felt the blood drain from his face. He sat with a thud into his chair next to Captain Montes. Please let her be okay. His breathing quickened, as visions of her danced in his mind.

A horrible burning sensation gripped him. His eyes drifted shut and he saw the bridge of Voyager. Smoke billowed throughout the silence. Bodies were tossed upon the floor, helter-skelter. Chakotay saw faces of friends and of strangers. But he couldn't find the one he loved.

"Commander Chakotay?" Captain Montes' voice broke into his thoughts. She was staring at him, an expression of concern on her face. "Are you all right?"

He shook his head, trying to clear the images of death and destruction. "Yes, I'm fine. But Voyager, they need our help."

Compassion flooded her features. "We are underway and will reach them in 2 minutes. We have been assigned to help transport the injured to the medical frigate Kelley." She leaned closer to him. "I understand what you are going through, Commander. We'll do everything we can."

He nodded blindly and returned his gaze to the viewscreen. The sight on it stunned him. On the backdrop of the ongoing fire fight between the Federation and Dominion fleets, Voyager appeared dead. She was drifting aimlessly, a gigantic hole in her saucer section. Debris floated in an ever-widening circle, along with more than a few bodies. Even as he watched, the corpses disappeared, beamed aboard the Zavala or the Aurora.

The murmurs of the crew on Zavala's bridge pulled him back to reality. Chakotay saw the sympathetic looks that were turned his way, but tried to ignore them.

"Captain. The last of the crew has been transferred off Voyager." Ensign Lamont at ops spoke, the quiver in his voice betraying his feelings and youth. Chakotay was reminded of Harry Kim, and of how nervous he had been on his first assignment. He fervently hoped that Voyager wasn't to be Kim's last assignment too.

"Acknowledged. Set course for the Kelley, warp factor 8." Montes stood. "Commander, you're with me. Lieutenant Nola, you have the bridge." Once they entered the turbolift, Montes turned to look at him directly. "Are you going to tell me?"

Confused, Chakotay shrugged. "I don't understand, Captain."

"You care for someone on Voyager, don't you? I saw your face when we first heard they were ordered here, and just now." She smiled sadly. "If I may say so, you look like someone just hit you over the head with a shuttlecraft."

He looked away. "I care for quite a few people on Voyager, who may now be dead or seriously injured. But, you are correct, there is one person in particular who I lo...."

The turbolift doors opened to a scene of chaos, cutting off what he was going to say. The smell of charred flesh emanated from bodies filling the corridor around sickbay. Everywhere were personnel treating the victims, attempting to start triage areas.

Chakotay walked around the bodies, his eyes scanning faces, hoping that he wouldn't find someone he knew. However, the third person he found was Megan Delaney, her hands burned hideously and a large cut on her forehead.

She was moaning, her eyes rolled back in her head. "Jenny, oh god, Jenny!"

He knelt next to her, gently touching her shoulder. "Megan, it's Chakotay. You're going to be all right. You are aboard the Zavala and we're taking you to get help." He caught his breath when she turned her tortured eyes on him.

"She's dead.... my sister's dead!" Sobs wracked her body as she started to scream. Chakotay tried to comfort her, but to no avail.

A passing medic thrust a hypospray into his hand. "Here, give her this. It will knock her out."

Chakotay pressed the hypospray against Megan's neck. With a hiss, the medication entered her system. Gradually, her screams died off as she fell into a deep, dreamless sleep. He gently maneuvered her until she lay on her back. He rose, his tears coursing unheeded down his face. He moved away from Megan, stopping to console a couple of crewmembers that he recognized.

"Chakotay?"

He whirled, immediately recognizing B'Elanna Torres' voice. She was sitting just inside the door to sickbay, a bloody bandage on her leg. Tom Paris was laying with his head on her lap. At least, he assumed it was Tom. The left side of the man's face was covered with third degree burns, bruises and blood covering the rest.

"Oh, B'El. What happened?" Chakotay sank to his knees and pulled her awkwardly into an embrace. She was in shock and shuddering.

"Wh... when the mine exploded, it threw the ship to the right. I broke my leg, but the bridge...." She looked down at her unconscious fiancé. "Tom's console exploded. And the Captain..." Her voice trailed off as she started to cry.

"Kathryn? B'El, what happened to her? Where is she?" Chakotay's voice rose as a wave of panic went through him. He couldn't bear the thought of losing her.

B'Elanna couldn't speak, but just pointed to a biobed on the other side of sickbay. He stood, and moved towards it, praying that she was still alive. A doctor he didn't recognize was passing a medical tricorder over her body.

"Oh my..." Chakotay gasped.

Janeway looked like a rag doll. One of her legs were broken, jutting out from her body at a weird angle. Blood from a gash down her cheek covered her uniform, along with dust and smoke particles.

"Nurse! I need 10 cc's tricordrazine stat!" The doctor spared a quick glance at Chakotay. "Do you have any medical training?"

"Not a lot, but I'll do whatever is needed." Chakotay hesitated. "Is she... is she going to live?"

"I don't know. She has taken a severe blow to the head and there is no sign of any neural activity. Her other injuries are relatively minor, but unless I can reduce the swelling in her brain, she will not make it." He looked at him closely. "You're Commander Chakotay, aren't you? I'm Julian Bashir. I know you were with Captain Janeway in the Delta Quadrant. I promise you I will do whatever I can for her."

Chakotay only nodded as a nurse handed Bashir a hypospray. He injected the contents into Janeway's neck then turned back to Chakotay. "Come on, we've got to get her into surgery. It's going to be a long one, I'll warn you in advance. If you don't think you'll be able to handle it, I suggest you leave now."

"No, I'm not going anywhere." Chakotay's haunted eyes met Bashir's. "I've left her too many times. I won't leave her again."

"All right. I can use your help." The other man gestured to an orderly, and they began the arduous operation.

"Good work, Commander." Bashir walked over to Chakotay, wiping his face with a towel. "She should be fine in a few days."

Chakotay merely grunted a reply, his hand gently caressing Janeway's cheek. After a moment, he looked up. "I'm sorry. Thank you, Doctor. You saved her life."

Bashir smiled wryly. "Well, that's my job." He turned to acknowledge a nurse's summons. "I'm coming. I'm sorry, Chakotay. Let me know when she wakes up."

Chakotay nodded, then returned his attention to Janeway. She was pale, with only a slight red scar to mark where the gash in her cheek was healing. It would disappear within a day, so there wouldn't be any external sign of her injuries. He could only hope that her cranial injuries would heal as well.

"Commander?"

He turned, finding Captain Montes standing behind him. There were dark stains on her uniform and her short blonde hair was unkempt, as if she had been running her hands through it.

"Captain. How are the rest of the survivors?" Chakotay asked, felling guilty for ignoring his former crewmates.

"They seem to be doing okay for the time being. There are 3 critical cases and 11 with moderate to severe injuries, including Lieutenant Paris and Captain Janeway." Her gaze went to the sleeping woman. "The Aurora is reporting only 1 critical and 5 serious cases of injury. Most of the others are bumps and bruises ranging up to simple fractures."

Chakotay hesitated. "What about casualties?"

"A total of 9 confirmed deaths, and 10 people are still missing. They are presumed to have been in the section of the saucer that was hardest hit." Montes paused before continuing. "I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you, but Commander Tuvok didn't make it. His injuries were too severe and he died while they operating on him on the Aurora."

Chakotay blinked back the hot tears that rose to his eyes. He and Tuvok had never become as good of friends as he'd hoped would someday happen, but he had an enormous amount of respect for the Vulcan. And Kathryn... she was going to be heartbroken when she found out.

His attention returned to Captain Montes as he realized she was still speaking to him. "I'm sorry, Captain. I'm afraid I wasn't listening."

"That's understandable, Chakotay." She reached over and squeezed his shoulder gently as a sign of compassion. "I was just saying that we will be arriving at the Kelley in 10 minutes. We'll beam the most severe cases over first, and then Janeway and Paris. You and Lieutenant Torres will be going with them."

"Thank you, ma'am. I appreciate it." Chakotay swallowed past the lump in his throat. "I didn't want Kath... Captain Janeway to awaken without a friend around."

Montes' sharp ears had caught his slip. "I think that's a good idea. I imagine she's going to need a lot of support while she recuperates. I've already made arrangements with Starfleet Command for you to take a leave of absence." The corner of her mouth quirked upwards. "You are an excellent First Officer, Chakotay. If you find yourself in need of a posting, I'd be more than happy to get you back."

He smiled sadly. "No offense, Captain, but I hope that doesn't become a necessity."

"None taken, Commander, none taken." Montes straightened, absently tugging at her uniform. "Now, you had better get ready to take Captain Janeway home. Don't worry, I'll have your belongings transferred over to the Kelley before we return to DS9. It's been a pleasure, Chakotay." She held out her hand, which he shook firmly.

"Thank you, Captain." He watched her stride out of sickbay before he returned to Janeway's side. He smoothed her hair back from her face, hoping that she could hear him. "Kathryn, I love you. Please come back to me."

Pain. She struggled to open her heavy eyelids. No success. She moaned softly and succumbed to darkness again. Try again. She could feel the muscles in her face, pulling gently. And then she heard a voice.

"She's waking up."

The voice pierced the fog in her mind, giving her added momentum, until she finally succeeded. Tears formed as the bright light assaulted her eyes. She could vaguely make out 4 people clustered around her. She squinted carefully, until she could make out their individual features. Two she recognized, her mother and Mark. The other two she didn't know.

"Kathryn? How are you feeling?" Gretchen Janeway's voice was shaking slightly, emotion evident.

"I... my head hurts. What happened?" Janeway stared in confusion at her mother and her lover.

"You were attacked by the Dominion. Voyager sustained heavy damage." Mark replied, looking slightly puzzled by her question. She frowned slightly, trying to figure out what was wrong with him. He seemed nervous, almost frightened. Of what? Then his words sunk in.

"Attacked? Voyager? I don't understand. She's still being built and she's not mine officially yet."

One of the unknown men stepped closer to her. "Captain Janeway, I'm Doctor Julian Bashir. Do you know what date this is?" He was young and spoke with a slight accent.

"Stardate ------, I think." [Note-approximately 6 months before the events in "Caretaker".] Puzzled, Janeway's eyes darted from person to person. She still didn't understand what was happening, and who the other, silent man was.

He was tall, with dark hair and a tattoo arching over his left brow. Janeway searched her memory, trying to recall who he was. He exuded warmth and friendship, and she instinctively knew he was a friend, but she couldn't remember who he was. At her last words, she saw shock enter his expressive eyes, and then sadness. She then noticed that the others were exchanging worried glances.

"What's wrong?" A sense of foreboding entered her, and her mother's answer caught her like a blow.

"Kathryn, that was over three years ago. Don't you remember being lost in the Delta Quadrant?"

Confusion and fear filled her. "No, I don't know what you are talking about." She turned to the man. "And who are you?"

"I'm Commander Chakotay. I was on Voyager with you as your First Officer." He spoke, sadness resonating with each soft word.

Janeway stared at him, willing herself to remember. She didn't know why it was so important, but she couldn't shake the feeling that he was more than a subordinate to her. She winced as a twinge of pain shot through her head.

"All right, I think that's enough for now. Captain Janeway needs to get some rest." Doctor Bashir nodded at her, then motioned the others towards the door.

"I love you, sweetheart. Phoebe sends her love also." Gretchen leaned down and kissed her daughter gently on the cheek. "I'll be back tomorrow."

Janeway managed a wan smile for her mother, then watched as all but the doctor left. She couldn't understand Mark's behavior, and Chakotay looked like the weight of the world was pressing down on him as he left, his shoulders slumped. He stopped briefly at the door to look back at her, despair evident in his brown eyes, before he masked it with an inscrutable expression.

"Captain?" Bashir's voice brought her out of her reverie, and she turned her attention back to him. "The pain should disappear with a day or two, as your neural pathways return to normal. Hopefully, your memories will return as well when that happens. You've undergone a lot of trauma, and you just need a chance to heal."

She nodded, then closed her eyes again as weariness overtook her. She heard him leave as she slipped once again into dreamless sleep.

********

Chakotay leaned heavily against the wall outside Janeway's room. He listened as her mother and Mark quietly spoke, then Mark left, sparing a quick glance at him. He watched as Mark walked away, not noticing that Gretchen had approached and was standing next to him.

"Commander, she'll be all right." Her words startled him and he jumped slightly. "I'm sorry that she doesn't remember you, but she needs time to heal." Her next statement surprised him even more. "She loves you, and I know you love her."

"How...?" Chakotay's voice cracked and he tried again. "How did you know?"

The wisdom in her gaze bespoke her years. "I know my daughter and she hasn't been the same person since returning. I saw how she suffered when you were being held, and her excitement the day you were released." Her eyes dimmed slightly. "And I saw her unhappiness the next day. I don't profess to know what happened that night, but I have heard rumors. What Mark did was wrong, and he knows it too. I only hope that both you and Kathryn will forgive him."

"This is all my fault. If I hadn't pushed her away that night, none of this would have happened." Chakotay berated himself. "I love her, and yet I hurt her again."

Gretchen glared at him. "You just stop right there, Commander. This is not your fault. Even if you two hadn't quarreled, this still would have happened, Voyager would still have been sent to aid DS9, and the Dominion would still have attacked. The only difference is that you could have been hurt as well, or killed. Self-pity isn't going to change what happened, and it isn't going to bring back Kathryn's memory. Only time, and love will do that."

Chakotay stared at Gretchen, then embraced her as she started to cry. He only hoped that she was right, and that someday Kathryn would remember him. And when she did, he hoped she could find it within herself to forgive him. If she didn't, he didn't know if he could bear it.

Chakotay knocked gently on the door of Tom and B'Elanna's apartment. Ever since Tom had been released from the hospital, they had been inseparable. Both had faced their mortality, and come through it with their relationship even stronger than it had been before. Their marriage was set to take place in 5 days, and they had asked him over, ostensible to finalize last minute details.

"Chakotay!" B'Elanna opened the door and hugged him. "I'm glad to see you. Thank you for coming by." She stepped back, and he entered the spacious apartment. It was a hodgepodge of styles, as eclectic as the two inhabitants, but it suited them. He followed her out onto the balcony, where Tom was resting.

"Tom, how are you doing?" Chakotay walked over to Tom and sat on the chair next to him.

"I'm doing okay." Tom scratched at a patch of new skin on his forehead, then grunted when B'Elanna poked a finger in his ribs. "I know, but it itches!"

"That means it's healing, leave it alone." She pushed him over on the chair, then squeezed herself in beside him. "The doctors said it would disappear in a few days. Until then, you have to leave it alone or the grafts won't heal properly."

Tom turned his sad puppy dog gaze on her, but to no effect. "C'mon B'El. Please let me scratch it." Then he smirked. "If you scratch my grafts, I'll scratch your-" He was cut off by a not-so-gentle smack. "Ow!"

"Pig! Now behave, we have company!" B'Elanna returned her attention to Chakotay, who had been sitting quietly, watching them with a sad smile on his face. "How is Captain Janeway doing?"

"She's doing better, her injuries have fully healed." Chakotay stared off into the distance. "She hasn't been able to regain her memories, though she does occasionally get flashes, images really. Nothing concrete, just a quick glimpse, rather like a photograph. I was hoping that reading her logs from those years would help, but so far nothing."

Tom nodded his eyes thoughtful. "Does she know about Tuvok yet?"

"Yes, her mother and I thought it best that she hear it from us. She didn't take it very well, I thought they would have to sedate her." He stood and began to pace. "Tuvok was really the only link on the ship to her past, and Kathryn had hoped he would have been able to help her remember."

"Chakotay, she's going to be okay." B'Elanna reached out and captured his right hand, forcing him to stop and face them. "Isn't there anything that can be done to help her?"

He shook his head, sighing. "No, not really. Dr. Bashir fixed the neural damage, but he thinks that there is an underlying emotional factor that is causing her amnesia." He laughed humorlessly. "An intense emotional trauma that her subconscious doesn't want to face."

"You're blaming yourself again, aren't you?" B'Elanna's blunt question hit him in the chest like a ton of bricks.

"Don't you see? My leaving her is the cause!" He walked over to the railing and leaned on it, his head hanging as he sought control. "I may not have been able to stop her getting injured, but it's because of me that she is blocking out over 3 years of her life. She's paying the price for my stubbornness."

Tom shakily rose to his feet and made his way over to stand next to Chakotay. He reached out and placed his hand on the older man's shoulder. "She loves you, Chakotay. And deep down, she knows that you love her too. She just needs time to heal."

Stricken, Chakotay could only shake his head as sobs wracked his body. Tom enfolded him in his embrace as B'Elanna joined them. The younger two supported him as he cried tears of frustration and fear.

"Kathryn? How are you feeling today?" Phoebe poked her head into her sister's room. She was afraid that she would find Kathryn lost in despair and hopelessness, as she had so many years before.

Instead, she was astonished to find Kathryn in her uniform, putting the last touches on her hair.

"I feel good, Phoebe, really good." Kathryn turned to face her younger sister, a tiny smile on her face. "I'm returning to duty today."

"I can see that." Phoebe walked over to the bed and sat down. "But isn't it too soon, shouldn't you take a few more days off?" She watched as Kathryn strode about, collecting data padds. "Didn't Dr. Bashir say you needed a full 2 weeks to recuperate?"

"He did, but I spoke to him yesterday, and he said he would allow me to return to active duty if I felt like it, and I do." Kathryn looked at her sister, then walked over to sit next to her. "I may not have a ship to return to, but there is plenty I can do until Voyager has been repaired and is spaceworthy again. I guess I have 3 years of history to catch up on, both in my life and in the Federation."

"You haven't changed, have you?" Phoebe ruefully shook her head, then changed the subject. "What about Mark, and Commander Chakotay?"

Kathryn shrugged. "What about them? Mark and I are no longer involved evidently, he explained what happened."

"And Chakotay?" Phoebe prompted, raising one eyebrow. The sight brought a quick smile to Kathryn's face, which faded quickly.

Dear Tuvok. He hadn't deserved what happened, to have come so far to return to T'Pel and their children, only to be snatched from them by the cruel tricks of fate. There hadn't even been a chance to transfer his katra into someone else before he had died. Kathryn missed him intensely, though she had once heard someone whispering to her, "It is illogical to mourn. The needs of the many outweighed the needs of the one." It hadn't made sense until she had found out that in the end, Tuvok had refused treatment so that others with a better chance of survival could receive the needed care.

One of those others had been Harry Kim. Even though she couldn't really remember him, after reading her logs she had gained a sense of her maternal pride in him. His back had been broken during the attack, his spinal cord severed above the fifth vertebra. But because of Tuvok's final sacrifice, the doctors on the Aurora had been able to stabilize Harry. The doctors on the Kelley had repaired the damage and regenerated his spinal cord, and he was able to walk a week later.

"Kathryn?" Phoebe asked, her voice concerned. "You still here?"

"Yes, I'm sorry. I was thinking about Tuvok." Kathryn refocused her attention on her sister's previous question. "Oh, about Chakotay..." Her voice trailed off as she thought of him. "I don't know how I feel about him. I feel a connection to him that surpasses any of a command variety, but I just have this feeling that something is wrong with the relationship."

Phoebe cocked her head, considering. "Mark has told you what happened that night, at least up to the point where you left him to go after Chakotay. I don't quite know what happened then, but I do know that he spent every minute with you after you were injured. Dr. Bashir finally threatened to sedate him if he didn't leave you to get some rest." Her next statement was simple. "He loves you, Kathryn. I've seen it, as has Mom. And you may not remember, but you love him too."

Tears welled up in Kathryn's eyes. "I don't know what to do!" She sniffled. "I'm not supposed to act like this, damn it, I'm a Captain in Starfleet! We don't cry."

Phoebe started to laugh, falling back onto the bed with the force of her mirth. Kathryn gawked at her for a long moment, then began to laugh as well, her tears forgotten.

"Hello Kathryn." Chakotay walked up the steps to the porch, smiling shyly as he handed her a rose. "How are you feeling?"

Kathryn inhaled the delicate scent wafting from the rose. "Chakotay, thank you. It's beautiful." She moved over on the porch swing and indicated for him to sit. "I'm feeling much better, I even returned to duty yesterday."

"I know, I heard. What do they have you doing?" Chakotay sat down, causing the swing to sway gently. He looked over at Kathryn, then returned his gaze to the setting sun. When the message had arrived for him to come to dinner, he had been hesitant at first because her mother had sent the message, and he wasn't sure whether Kathryn even knew. But it appeared that she didn't seem to mind, if she hadn't known.

"Nothing terribly ambitious, but I've been analyzing information on the Dominion and the Jem'Hadar. Starfleet Command feels that whatever tactical skills I may have retained from the Delta Quadrant could be useful." She groaned. "Though from what I've read, I doubt that the Kazon were quite as formidable an opponent."

Chakotay laughed. "Well, maybe they aren't on the same offensive level, but one never knows what information could help." He hesitated momentarily. "Have any of your memories returned?"

Kathryn turned to face him fully, pulling her knee up to rest on the swing. "I remember the Caretaker, and our arrival in the Delta Quadrant. Mostly images of people and places that I can't quite place. Many of the crewmembers I've been able to identify from my logs and Starfleet records. And a few things that I just don't understand. I've tried to look them up, but I can't find them mentioned in my logs." She looked at him speculatively. "Perhaps, you could help me?"

He smiled broadly. "Anything I can do, Kathryn, please don't hesitate to ask." He reached over and gently picked up her hand. "Is there something in particular that's bothering you?"

"Well, actually yes. There is one item that I keep seeing." Embarrassed, she looked away from him. "I keep seeing a bathtub, in the forest." His bark of laughter caught her by surprise. "Chakotay?"

He was laughing so hard he couldn't answer her. "I'm... sorry." Finally, he quieted, though he was noticeably amused. "I built the bathtub for you, when we were stranded on New Earth. You had been telling me how much baths relaxed you, and I thought you would enjoy it."

Kathryn grinned at him. "You have no idea how much it was bothering me. It just seemed so out of place with the rest of what I've remembered."

"It was hard on you, having to remain behind while Voyager continued towards home." Chakotay sobered, staring intently at her. "You didn't want to give up hope that they would come back for us. You were trying so desperately to find a cure, until the storm destroyed most of the equipment."

She nodded. "That was the feeling I was getting from my logs. I just wish I could remember everything." She turned away from him, observing the lightning bugs that had become visible with dusk. "There's so much, so many people."

"Speaking of which, Tom and B'Elanna's wedding is this weekend." Nervously, Chakotay looked at his hands. "I, um, was wondering if you would like to go with me. I know it would mean a lot to them if you came."

Kathryn smiled sadly at him. "I feel so badly that I can't perform the ceremony for them, but at least Admiral Paris has consented to. It wouldn't be right for me to do so, since I can't recall much about them or their relationship." She paused a moment before continuing. "But yes, I would like to go with you."

Chakotay released a pent-up breath in relief. He had been so sure that she would say no. "They understand completely, Kathryn, and I know they were hoping you would still come." He was about to continue, when her mother came out onto the porch.

"Ah, there you are." Gretchen walked over and embraced him as he stood. "I was beginning to think you were going to stand us up. I've been cooking all afternoon."

Chakotay's eyes lit up. "I wouldn't miss it, I've heard so much about your cooking from Kathryn." He looked hopefully at Gretchen. "She used to go on about your caramel brownies."

Both women laughed. "They are Mom's masterpiece. And I'm pretty sure I smelled some baking a while ago." Kathryn stretched, then rose to her feet. "I'm hungry, let's eat!"

********

"I can't eat another bite." Chakotay groaned dramatically, pushing his chair away from the table. "Gretchen, that was wonderful."

"Thank you, Chakotay, I'm glad you enjoyed it." Gretchen stood and began to collect the plates, waving off his attempts to help. "No, why don't you two take a walk while I clean up." Innocently, she smiled at them.

Kathryn rolled her eyes. She knew what her mother was trying to do. "I don't know, it's getting late."

"Come on, Kathryn." Chakotay decided to apply a little pressure. "You need to work off the 3 brownies you just consumed!"

She laughed and tried to hit him. "You're one to talk. I think you ate three servings of everything."

"Ah, but it was so good." He pulled her gently towards the door. "We'll be back in a few minutes, Gretchen."

Smirking to herself, Gretchen called out. "Don't hurry back on my account." She continued to clear the table, humming softly under her breath. "Take your time."

********

Kathryn led Chakotay down the hill, towards a stream that she remembered from her childhood. She didn't protest when he took her hand, and they walked contentedly in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. When they reached the stream, Kathryn sat on the edge, dangling her feet in the cool water. Chakotay sat next to her, then leaned back and stared at the night sky.

"It's so peaceful here. I had forgotten how quiet the night can be on Earth." He looked over at her. "Thank you for tonight."

Confused, she returned his gaze. "Thank you for what?"

"For letting me come to dinner, and for agreeing to come with me to the wedding." Chakotay sat up, and brushed his hand against her cheek. "I know it's been hard on you these past two weeks. I also know you aren't entirely comfortable around me."

"It's not that I'm not comfortable being around you, but that I don't know what to do or say." Kathryn replied. "I don't remember what happened, but I know that our last parting wasn't amicable. I don't want to hurt you, but I'm trying, I really am."

Chakotay drew her gently to him. "I understand, Kathryn, and I don't want to rush you into anything." He pulled back slightly, looking at her directly. "I'm as much as or even more responsible for our last fight than you, and I want you to know how sorry I am for my actions. I also want you to know that I told you once I'd wait for you, and I mean it. I love you, Kathryn."

She drew in her breath sharply. "Oh, Chakotay. I can't...."

"Shh." He pressed his finger against her lips. "I know and I don't expect you to be able to say the same to me now. I just hope that in time you can love me, and that you'll forgive me for hurting you as I did." He stood and pulled her to her feet. "Now, let's go back to the house, before your mother thinks we got lost again."

Kathryn grinned at him. "At least we are in the correct quadrant this time." Their laughter blended together as they began the trek back.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. Tom, you may kiss your bride." Admiral Paris' face was wreathed with a broad smile, as he watched his son tenderly kiss B'Elanna.

Cheers resounded from the onlookers, led by Neelix. The sturdy little Talaxian was waving his hands in the air, as if directing an orchestra of voices. While Tom and B'Elanna had decided against having him prepare the food, they had allowed him to help plan the wedding. Of course, after listening to him expound upon the many uses of leola roots in decorating, not just in cooking, they had almost changed their minds.

Chakotay smiled as he watched the glowing couple. B'Elanna had finally gone with a traditional white wedding gown, albeit a simple shift without any frills. Tom had tried to talk her into something fancier, but had given up when she threatened to castrate him on their wedding night if he didn't let her choose her own dress.

For all her boasting though, B'Elanna had been a bundle of nerves while waiting with Chakotay for the ceremony to begin. For a moment, Chakotay had been tempted to have the EMH to sedate her so he could carry her down the aisle. Luckily, she had calmed down sufficiently so that wasn't a necessity. He chuckled to himself at the thought.

"What's so funny?" Kathryn whispered.

"I was just thinking of how nervous our little half-Klingon was a little while ago." Chakotay looked down at the woman standing by him. Kathryn was wearing a green dress, made of a light, gauzy material. Her hair was pulled back on the sides with combs, so that it fell in glistening waves down her back. He thought she had never looked more beautiful.

She smiled back at him. "She definitely doesn't strike me as the nervous type." She stopped, her smile fading as her eyes took on a far-off expression.

Chakotay frowned slightly. "Kathryn, are you okay?"

She didn't answer for a moment. "Y... yes. I'm fine. I think I just remembered something." She focused her attention on him again. "I remember B'Elanna being captured by the Vidiians."

He nodded solemnly. "Yes, they were running experiments on her because her Klingon genes were not susceptible to the phage."

Kathryn shuddered. "It couldn't have been a very pleasant experience for her." She nudged him as the newlyweds walked up to them. "Tom, B'Elanna. It was a beautiful ceremony."

B'Elanna shyly smiled. "Thank you, Kathryn. It means a great deal to both Tom and I that you came." She hesitated, then hugged her former Captain. Kathryn returned the embrace, feeling a little like the mother of the bride.

Tom rolled his eyes at Chakotay. "B'El, you're not going to get all emotional are you now?" He sniggered, the fading scars on his face barely visible. "What is it with women and weddings?"

B'Elanna stomped on his foot without turning to look at him. "You're still a pig, Paris."

"And you're Mrs. Pig now!" Tom shot back, shaking his foot slightly as if it stung. "Come on, we have to get to the reception before Neelix tries to sabotage the appetizers." He grinned as he pulled his wife up for another kiss before they turned and made their way to the tent set up on the other side of the park.

Chakotay and Kathryn followed them at a leisurely pace. Chakotay had his arm firmly wrapped around her waist, and Kathryn's head rested gently against his shoulder. When they arrived at their destination, the party was already in full swing. Neelix already had the music blaring, and was dancing by himself. He came waltzing up to them as soon as he saw them.

"Captain, Commander. Are you having a good time?" He grinned irrepressibly. "Don't they make a most handsome couple? Of course, you two are pretty fabulous also!" Then he danced off, not even waiting for an answer to his question.

Chakotay snickered. "I wonder what he's been drinking. Someone must have spiked his punch."

"Probably Tom, he was always doing that at the parties on Voyager." Kathryn returned his smile. "I found ample records of that, what with all the minor disciplinary actions on him." She turned her head as she caught someone waving at them from the corner of her eye. "Let's go talk to Harry and Kes." They made their way over to the buffet table, where the other two were standing.

Harry was loading a plate with assorted delicacies, and sampling quite a few at the same time. He had recovered almost completely, and no longer had to wear the compression brace that had been necessary to keep his spine in alignment until it had healed. He grinned at the older couple. "Neelix seems to be having a good time."

Kes shook her head, laughing. "He's always liked a good party."

Chakotay handed Kathryn a plate, before beginning to fill his own. "And this is turning out to be quite a party. Just remind me not to touch that punch."

Kathryn watched in amusement as the pile of food on Chakotay's plate rose. "I hate to break it to you, Chakotay, but there are other people that want to eat too."

He looked at her innocently. "But Kathryn, I'm the 'father' of the bride. I deserve to eat all this. After all, I had to escort her down that long aisle." A look of deviltry passed over his face. "But you can share it with me, if you'd like."

She shook her head in mock exasperation at him, before returning her plate to the stack. "That's a very good idea, Commander." She grabbed the plate out of his hand, then made her way over to an empty table. Chakotay followed her, grabbing 2 glasses of champagne from a low table set against the wall.

Once they sat down, Chakotay grabbed a mushroom puff off of the plate and bit into it. "Mmmm, this tastes heavenly." He gently pushed it at her. "Here, try some."

Kathryn raised an eyebrow, then delicately bit into it. Her teeth grazed his finger gently and he jumped, startled. She smirked at him. "You're right, it tastes wonderful." Leaning forward, she whispered playfully. "And so do you."

Stunned, Chakotay could only stare at her. He wasn't sure if his ears were deceiving him or not. He cast about, trying desperately to think of something to say. Finally, he opened his mouth and an undignified croak escaped.

That was all that was necessary to send Kathryn into peals of laughter. Her eyes were watering when she finally regained control. "I'm sorry, but you had it coming."

Chakotay quietly considered his options before deciding to leave well enough alone, at least for the moment. Changing the topic, he nodded at the dance floor. "Would you care to dance, Kathryn?"

She nodded, excitement shining from her eyes. He stood, pulling her to her feet. They walked over to the dance floor, then he turned her to face him and tugged her gently into his arms. The song's haunting melody wrapped around them, and their world narrowed to only the two of them.

Chakotay murmured, his lips moving gently by her ear. "This song seems oddly appropriate, at least for you."

Kathryn smiled sadly. "'I dance with a stranger'..." She tilted her head back to look at him. "You are not really a stranger to me, Chakotay. I may not remember everything about you, or about us, but I do know you." She focused her attention on a speck of lint on his dress uniform. Brushing it off, she spoke softly. "I came to a realization these past few days, and I was trying to decide how to tell you..."

"Tell me what?" Chakotay halted in mid-glide, his stomach knotting. He wasn't sure if he was ready to hear what she was going to tell him.

Kathryn hesitated, then looked at him directly. "I love you, Chakotay."

His heart seemed to stop beating momentarily as he felt a silly grin fill his face. "I had hoped I would hear those words from you for a very long time. I love you too, Kathryn." His face lowered, and he kissed her for only the second time ever.

The clapping of the onlookers jolted them out of their shared passion. Blushing, Kathryn saw that everyone had stopped dancing and was watching them. She buried her face into Chakotay's chest, her shoulders quivering with laughter. Chakotay grinned and waved at them, but then his smile faded as he heard Tom exclaim.

"All right! Who had the wager on the reception?" He looked at Harry who was holding a padd in his hand.

Harry pressed a few keys, then glanced over to his left. "Kes did!" He smiled broadly at his date. "Though replicator rations don't mean much here."

Kes serenely returned his gaze, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "Well, maybe not, but I'll think of something you can do for my prize." She moved over to Harry and nestled up against him. "We can discuss it later."

Kathryn finally emerged from Chakotay's embrace. "I am so embarrassed." She sighed, then wryly shook her head. "I can't believe that they had bets on us."

Chakotay pursed his lips, then muttered. "I don't think I want to know what else they've been betting on about us." But then he brightened. "I can't say as I mind the circumstances in the slightest." He leaned forward and kissed her again, then they left the dance floor and returned to their table.

The rest of the evening passed quickly, and they soon forgot their discomfort in the face of the fun they were having. They spent most of their evening talking to Harry, Kes and Neelix before Tom walked over and pulled Kathryn and Kes to their feet.

"Come on you two. B'El's getting ready to toss the bouquet."

Kes looked at Kathryn. "Toss the bouquet?" She queried in confusion.

"It's an ancient Earth custom." Kathryn smiled. "The bride throws the bouquet into a group of single women, and legend has it that the woman that catches it will be the next to get married."

Kes brightened. "I like that idea."

They joined the small group of women that were waiting outside the tent. B'Elanna walked a short distance away from them, and then looked over her shoulder.

"Are you all ready?" Not waiting for an answer, she hurled the flowers back over her head. The younger women in the group started to scramble for them, but the bouquet landed squarely in Kathryn's hands. She started to blush again, as Tom and Harry pushed Chakotay over to her.

"Nice catch, Kathryn." Chakotay grinned at her. "You know what this means don't you?"

She nodded. "I guess so." She bit her lip, trying to decide if he was just teasing her or whether he really meant it.

He took the decision out of her hands as he bent down on one knee. "Kathryn Janeway, will you marry me?"

Kathryn gasped, her hand flying to her throat. Unbidden tears rose to her eyes as she stared at Chakotay. His handsome face was uplifted, the earnestness in his expression tugged at her heart. She cast about desperately, knowing that everyone in the vicinity was staring at them. Moments passed, and she saw the unease in his eyes. At that moment, she knew what her only answer could be.

"Yes, Chakotay. I will marry you." Kathryn found herself being whirled in the air, as he squeezed her tightly in his arms. He drew her head down to his, and they kissed passionately, oblivious to their surroundings.

Their former crewmates had gathered together, and were watching Kathryn and Chakotay avidly. B'Elanna wiped the tears from her face, and rested her head on her new husband's shoulder.

"It's about time." Harry spoke softly.

Tom nodded, then grinned wickedly. "Guess we'll need to start a pool for a baby!"