Chapter Three
LaBarre - Winter Homecoming

They arrived late the next afternoon. Even with the wintery background, the estate was beautiful. Yet, for all its simple elegance, the house looked disturbingly desolate. Gone was the green canopy of leaves lining the walk, the once full bushes surrounding the entrance now almost barren. As he surveyed the grounds for signs of activity Picard wondered if even the cats had abandoned his home.

Beverly had watched the shadows slowly creep into his features throughout the day. Now he appeared openly concerned when no reply came to the door chime. She was just about to ask if they were in the right place when a voice called out from the side of the house.

Coming around to greet to them a lovely auburn-haired woman appeared followed by a young, dark-haired boy. He smiled at them brightly and for just a moment Picard thought . . .

"Jean-Luc, I'm sorry we were in the back garden," she began. "I wish your visit was under better circumstances.

Kissing her on the cheek he hugged her tightly, greatly relieved to find her home. He whispered hoarsely, "How are you, Marie?"

"I am still in shock but we are all doing what me must," she said looking at the boy. "Jean-Luc Picard, this is my nephew, Andre. My sister Tereasa's boy."

"Hello," Picard said, extending his hand to the young man with the familiar dark eyes.

"And you must be Beverly." Marie smiled genuinely taking Beverly's hands into her own. "It's so nice to finally meet you." The Doctor exchanged a quick look with her Captain over Marie's shoulder. Beverly couldn't help but wonder what he had told his sister-in-law about their relationship. She also couldn't help but notice that the Picard boys seemed to share a penchant for redheaded women.

Marie continued with the introductions, "Andre insisted on coming with me to meet the famous, Dr. Crusher."

The boy stepped forward and shyly offered his hand to the Doctor.

"You seem to have quite a following among young men all across the galaxy." Jean-Luc watched the boy look at Beverly with awe. I'm familiar with that feeling, he thought.

"Hello, Andre, I'm honored. But why would you want to meet me?" Beverly said taking his hand.

"Because, I'm going to be a Doctor on a starship just like you," he began brightly. "I've read everything I could find and I help at the local hospital - when they let me but I was hoping - that is if you have some time later, you can tell me what it's really like out there?" His eyes sparkling in anticipation.

"I'd be happy to answer all your questions," she said sparkling back at him.

"Andre, let's give her a chance to get settled before you make any plans," Marie told him firmly.

"You said you were going to invite them over for dinner didn't you?" he asked picking up Beverly's luggage.

"Why don't you let me get that, Andre?" called Jean-Luc.

"No, it's all right, I'm quite strong for my age," he said struggling on the way into the house. "Come on Doctor I'll show you to your room." Beverly followed him up the stairs smiling at his effort.

"Why don't I get some tea started," offered Marie.

Jean-Luc set his bags by the stairs and turned back to his sister-in-law. "Marie, I'm a little confused."

"I know, Jean-Luc, why don't you come help me with the tea." She took his arm and led him to the kitchen.

She explained being overwhelmed by the empty house. The unbearable silence broken only by the sound of the clock ticking into the night, guarding the door like some sort of time soldier.

Shortly after the funeral she had gone to stay with her sister and her family. Tereasa and her husband Edgar, in addition to Andre were the parents of 3 daughters with another child expected any day now. The pregnancy had been especially difficult for Tereasa and Marie felt needed there. The children let her know that she was still an important part of their family and she gathered strength from them.

At first it was difficult to look at Andre and not see her own son reflected in those dark eyes. She could feel a part of Rene still very much alive in Andre. She realized that perhaps through this boy both their dreams were still possible.

"I'm not sure when I might come back to the house," she said softly. "Maybe in the Spring. Everything is so beautiful then - so new."

"I understand." And he did but it also reminded him that in some ways he was truly alone.

"I sent the animals to Tereasa's. You can come get them if you like."

"Perhaps we'll visit the horses in a few days but they're better off there for now."

"There's really no place for them here anymore," she said thinking about the barren spot where the barn once stood. "Jacob - he's the vintner who helped Robert - comes by once a week to check the casks but everything is pretty well shut down until Spring." Then turning back to him, "How long will you and Beverly be staying?" Anything to keep from thinking about the fire.

"I don't know. I hadn't thought much past getting here. I'm waiting to hear from Starfleet regarding the hearing on the loss of the Enterprise."

"Oh, I'm sorry Jean-Luc, we heard about the accident. I was very relieved when you contacted me but I guess I've been distracted."

"That's certainly understandable."

"A hearing, you mean a court-martial?" she asked with a new concern.

"Yes, it's standard procedure whenever a ship is lost." He tried to state it as matter-of-factly as possible but there was a slight edge to his voice.

"Surely they can't hold you responsible for what happened?"

"I wasn't on the ship at the time. And that's probably the first thing they'll be looking into . . . but I know my crew did everything they could under the circumstances and I am confident the hearing will bear that out." He saw the concern on her face and he tried to reassure her - to reassure himself. "Don't be concerned Marie, everything will work out."

"Was Beverly on the ship?"

"Yes, she was," he answered slowly.

"You must have been very relieved when you found out she was all right?"

He had managed to push that image out of his mind. He had been so caught up in her efforts to treat the injured crew members that only now was he able to think about how easily she could have been one of the injured . . . one of the seventeen.

He studied his tea silently. Perhaps the rising steam would bring an answer to him.

"She's very important to you, isn't she?" Marie said to him finally. It wasn't really a question but something she wanted him to hear out loud. He turned his eyes toward her but was still silent. Through the years she had become rather adept at reading between the lines of his letters; Beverly was the only person he even mentioned by their first name. It was obvious just how important she really was to him. But there was something more, a pain in his eyes, that made her wonder why it was that he was still just friends with the Doctor.

She knew he wasn't ready to face this yet. Trying to make him feel more comfortable she said, "The two of you will come to Tereasa and Edgar's for dinner tomorrow night. Andre will never forgive me if you don't and Edgar would love to meet you."

"We don't want you to go to any trouble on our account. It sounds as if there's quite a full house there already."

"A house can never be too full. Besides, I feel guilty not being here to help take care of you two."

"I'll manage and Beverly is free to leave if she wants to."

"You shouldn't be so willing to let her go," Marie said over the brim of her cup.

He looked at her uncomfortably again. "I have no hold on her, she came here as a friend. I certainly can't expect her to wait around while I-"

"No, she doesn't sound like the type woman you should keep waiting around," Marie said cutting him off.

"Marie, I think you have the wrong impression about the nature of our relationship."

"I know you have never brought anyone to this house, not even when you were a child."

Damn him. Didn't he realize how little time there was to spend with those you loved. After everything he'd been through; everything she had been through. How could she let him sit there and continue to ignore those feelings?

"I suppose you're going to try and tell me you're not in love with her?" He opened his mouth to speak but she cut him off again, this time by standing up suddenly.

"You Picard's are so stubborn and full of pride that you would rather carry all your feelings inside rather than admit to a vulnerability. You think you are protecting those you love by hiding those feelings rather than by sharing them. I knew that about Robert before I married him but I also found out how wonderful it was when he finally did open up to me. It was an honor, not a burden to share that with him." She took a deep breath and held it trying to hold in her tears as well.

Jean-Luc watched her. His own emotions were tearing at him. Robert, Rene, being here without them and now Marie forcing him to confront his feelings about Beverly.

After several minutes of silence he said quietly, "I'm afraid she may not feel the same way." He looked up at the sound of her laughter.

"And you wonder why we don't confide in anyone? The first time we do, you laugh at us."

"I'm sorry Jean-Luc, it's just that I was thinking back to the night realized I was going to have to take matters, in hand, so to speak, with your brother. I knew he cared about me and despite his reputation, I could tell the thought of rejection just paralyzed him. Of course once I seduced him, everything was much easier."

He was more than a bit uneasy with this turn in the conversation; if he could just make her understand. "Marie, it's more complicated with Beverly. She was married to one of my best friends and I'm her commanding officer, just to start with."

"And where is this friend now?"

"He was killed - under my command."

"I see . . . How long ago?"

"Twenty years."

She looked at him as if she were about to scold a child but went on evenly. "And where is your ship now?"

"Marie, this isn't the appropriate time be thinking about this."

"Yes, it sounds like you're going to be too busy hiding in all that guilt to do anything about the situation. When will it be the right time, Jean-Luc? In another twenty years? You have new responsibilities now," she sighed lightly. "I just hope when she does find the courage to take the next step you're not foolish enough to stop her. And she will, you know."

He stared at her incredulously. He had been home under an hour and already he considered leaving. He wasn't sure how Beverly would react to them being alone in the house but with Marie's accusations maybe it was better if she wasn't around filling Beverly's head with who knows what kind of ideas. Then again . . .

She was right. He was so afraid of Beverly rejecting him that he would rather hide in the comfort of their friendship rather than risk isolating her. He had been waiting for some kind of sign from her - anything that would release him from that responsibility, from that fear.

"Marie you don't know her, she would never - be so bold."

"So, she is not a bold woman?"

"No, that's not what I meant."

"Then tell me, what kind of woman is she?"

As he settled into his chair he couldn't help the wistful smile that came to his face as he thought about how to answer. He began with the obvious. "She's very dedicated, a fine officer and a brilliant doctor."

"Jean-Luc, tell me about her?"

He paused and simply said, "She takes my breath away." He let his words hang in the air as he recalled how she looked last night.

Marie didn't need to prompt him now as he began, "She's bold and intelligent. She has an interest in acting and is a marvelous dancer. She doesn't force me to reveal my feelings but is always available to listen. And stubborn . . . she can be rather - difficult at times." He furrowed his brow as he said it. From her expression he had a feeling of what Marie was thinking about his own stubbornness; she didn't need to say it aloud.

He lowered his eyes again to examine the now empty cup. "She's all that and a thousands other things I can't even begin to find the words for."

"I can't wait to get to know her better," Marie said after a moment. "I'm so glad the two of you are here, safe." She turned and stared out the window, looking past the small garden, across the vineyards, she could just see the tree where Robert lay. Rene wasn't far from him but away from the shadows cast by the tree limbs. She wanted him to be under the stars since he could never be among them.

"You should go in the afternoon." She told him still gazing out the window. He followed her eyes to the tree. He knew where they would be, with all the others, beyond the fields, keeping watch from the other side; they waited. "It's warmer then, if the sun is out."

The sound of Beverly and Andre coming down the stairs brought her back inside. She smiled as the boy came bounding into the kitchen.

Beverly had fielded Andre's questions hoping to give Marie and Jean-Luc some time alone. His enthusiasm was refreshing and she found herself thinking back to the days after Jack's funeral. How she struggled to answer Wesley's questions but mostly how she held onto him and took her only comfort from his presence.

Andre told her that Marie had been staying with his family to help his mother prepare for the new baby. She understood why Marie had chosen to be with her sister's family right now but she wondered how it would affect Jean-Luc. To her it only helped to emphasize that he had no other family. She was all to familiar with that feeling herself.

Andre began excitedly as he pulled on Marie's arm, "She said they would come for dinner. Wait 'til I tell Anna and Mama - I promise I'll help with everything."

"Yes, Andre. I just hope you haven't scared her off with all your questions."

"Of course not, I always have time for my fans," Beverly replied with a warm smile.

"We should be going soon. I don't want to leave your mother for too long," Marie said to the boy. Then turning to Beverly, "I'm sorry we haven't had a chance to talk yet. I have some questions of my own to ask you." Jean-Luc shifted uncomfortably behind his best friend as the two women walked past him arm in arm.

"I understand, Marie. Andre told me about his mother. If you'd like, I'd be happy to look in on her?"

"Would you?" asked Andre, his eyes brightening.

"Andre, Beverly is a guest," said Marie firmly.

"The Doctor has been through quiet an ordeal herself recently," Jean-Luc said looking at her sternly. "She's still catching up on her rest."

"I'm fine Captain," she responded tersely. Then turning to Andre she bent toward him and said, "I'll see her tomorrow night."

With a small, relief-filled smile he whispered, "Thank you, Doctor."

"I've already prepared several meals for the two of you. You just have to heat them up. Jean-Luc, you warned her there wasn't a replicator didn't you?" He looked at Beverly but couldn't recall if she knew about this detail.

Marie continued before he could answer, "I tried to stock the pantry but if you need anything just let me know. Oh, I almost forgot, Jean-Luc, we're scheduled to meet with the solicitor day after tomorrow. I've been putting him off but now that you're here."

She hugged Beverly giving Picard a knowing smile over the Doctor's shoulder. As she embraced Jean-Luc again she whispered in his ear, "I'm sorry if I was out of line. I just want to see you happy."

"I know Marie. Please be careful on your way."

Jean-Luc watched them disappear down the walk. Taking a deep breath he hoped to fill his lungs with the familiar scent of the vineyards but today the wind only carried the sterile chill of winter. Bending to gather a handful of soil he watched it slip through his fingers, enjoying the coarse texture on his hand.

He turned to find Beverly standing in the doorway smiling at him. Maybe it was the memory of her in those other doorways that took his breath this time. But this wasn't like those evenings, this was home and she was waiting for him to join her. For a brief moment he let himself imagine what it would be like to come home to her every night.

He tried to return the smile but for some reason felt he owed her an apology. "I'm sorry," he said as he reached the entrance way.

"For what?" she said looking at him slightly confused.

"I wasn't sure what to expect when we got here. I didn't know Marie had left."

"You don't have to apologize. I understand all too well why she needs to be there right now."

"Do you think she's going to be all right?"

"Yes, I think she's going to be fine. In time, I think we're all going to be fine." This time he returned her smile fully as she took his hand and led him into the house.