Chapter Eleven
Monday Morning/Closed Session

He had been watching her for sometime now. Unable to sleep he held her close and listened to her steady breathing. He was exhausted by sleep alluded him. He had already waken her once as his body cried out to be with her one more time. But it was more than just a physical longing this morning. He needed to be joined with her - fully. Only when he was with her did he feel complete and the day ahead was going to be a difficult one.

For the first time in weeks she would be out of his grasp. Today he would have to face his judges alone; she would have to stand by and wait. He knew how she hated waiting; he hated that she would have to go through this with him. They could do whatever they wanted to him but he hated that it would affect her so.

For the first time he thought perhaps she would have been better off if she had not reached out to him. For the first time he wished that they could be separate; that his pain wouldn't affect her. But he needed her. He needed her more than he needed anything in his entire life - for she was his life.

Daybreak was still a good hour away. He tried not to stir too much lest he accidentally wake her. She was wrapped around him so tightly he was afraid even too deep a breath might disturb her seemingly peaceful slumber. The beautiful face of an angel rested against his side. But her hand was clenched into a fist as it rested on his chest; she clung to him as if she were afraid something might take him away in her dreams.

She had done her best to distract him. And it was deliciously distracting; they enjoyed each other immensely. Then after falling into an exhausted slumber the dreams came to taunt him. He lay awake for a long time watching her sleep; a contented smile on her face. His breathing slowed but his need to be with her again grew with each passing heartbeat.

He caressed her tenderly until her eyes opened half way. She reached for him but in her dream state she was only half conscious of her actions. It didn't matter, dreams and reality mixed together so thoroughly when they were together. God how he needed her.

She pulled him closer and closer enveloping him in her warmth, her soul. She knew he needed her; needed to have some control so that he could face the morrow. She gladly gave into his need, his control, and let herself enjoy the dream. Sated once again, he fell back and held her close.

They slept but the nightmare came back to haunt him again. And so he waited in the darkness; trying to match the stillness of the night. Sleep no longer an option.

She knew. She must have known. For why else would she wake and pull him to be with her. He moved over her and quickly started to enter her. She gasped. She wasn't quite awake and his sudden motion startled her to full awareness. He stopped abruptly and instinctively pulled back but she placed a hand on his chest to stay him. "Just give me a minute to catch up," she whispered.

He cursed himself for being so anxious. But her tender kisses began to distract him. She pulled his head to her chest so that he could kiss her breasts. Slowly, she began moving her hips taking him in, a little further with each circle. When she covered him completely he gasped at the realization that they were one again. Now he began to take control again. She was ready to yield to him for she trusted him completely.

He was gentle but powerful - only when he knew she was ready did he allow the urgency to take over. Wrapping her legs around his waist she let him guide her into the morning. He was close several times but unable to bring himself over the brink. She stayed him again and this time she led him to his much needed release.

Their bodies blended into the muted colors of the room; shades of gray, moving and touching, shadows without light. She loved this light; the promise it held. But today she wished she could just hide from it; hide with him in the shadows of the morning.

She wiped his brow tenderly as he collapsed into the pillow over her shoulder. "Thank you," he murmured.

A pleased smile came to her lips as she replied, "Thank you." Then as the tips of her fingers ran across his back, "You have the most exquisite way of saying good morning."

He laughed into the pillow, "Is it morning already?" Turning his head toward the window he caught the first glimmer of light as it crossed into the room. "Damn, I guess it is."

She knew it was only half a joke and she kissed him on the cheek. "Did you get any sleep at all last night?"

Of course she knew. "Enough," he said raising himself to look at her. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you."

She smiled at him warmly, her eyebrows rising in contentment, "Do I look disturbed?"

He smiled back, "No, you look absolutely beautiful."

She laughed, "Now, I know you didn't get enough sleep - you're hallucinating. Why don't you stay here while I fix breakfast. We have a good two hours before we need to be anywhere."

He just shook his head, "It wouldn't do any good, I'm not sleepy. Come on join me in the shower." She raised her eyebrows suspiciously. "Just for a shower," he reassured her.

"Jean-Luc," she began seriously but she wasn't quite sure what to say next.

He could see the worry in her eyes. He whispered as he bent to touch his lips to hers, "I love you, Beverly."

She smiled back, "I love you too, Jean-Luc."

This morning even their standard coffee and croissants seemed difficult to digest. Each swallow took an increasing effort. They gave up and headed back upstairs to change into their uniforms.

He slipped into his pants enjoying the familiar touch of the fabric. Then sitting on the edge of the bed he followed his standard routine as he put on his socks and boots; right foot, left foot, repeat. So far, so good, he thought.

She emerged from the closet carrying two jackets. His neck automatically began to itch at the sight of the dress uniform. He sighed as she handed him the burgundy one then resignedly stood and put it on. She laughed as he kept pulling at the collar while inspecting himself in the mirror.

"Stop that," she said removing his hand. "You look wonderful."

He turned to repay the compliment, "So do you, Doctor." Gathering her into his arms he kissed her on the forehead. His hand automatically went to his collar again as soon as he leaned forward . She pulled it away shooting him a cross look. "I can't help it," he explained, "it itches. I don't see how you can stand it."

Shaking her head she laughed lightly, "I'll let you in on a little secret - if you promise not to tell anyone." He cocked his head and nodded.

"Look here," she offered pulling her own collar down.

"What?" he asked inspecting the inside lining. "I don't see anything."

"Exactly. I took out the original stays and replaced them with a softer, less irritating fabric."

"It's against regulations to alter the uniform. The clothing replicators won't let you do that," he said running his finger over the material.

"I know I had to do them by hand but believe me it's worth it. I've been doing it for years and obviously you never knew," she said with a pleased smile.

"I never had the opportunity to inspect your uniform so closely before," he replied with a sly grin. "Any other alterations you'd like to share?"

"Guess you'll just have to keep a closer eye on my uniform."

"I'll do that," he said inspecting her anew with his eyes.

Reaching for his communicator off the dresser she placed it on his jacket with a practiced eye. He smiled and reciprocated - although it was difficult to keep his hands from touching anything else.

"Beverly, do you think you can show me how to fix my collars?" he asked meekly.

"I'll do them for you this evening."

"You don't have to do that. If you'll just show me how-"

"Jean-Luc, as much as I would enjoy the sight of you sewing I think you better leave the surgery to the Doctor. It'll be much faster. Trust me." She took his hands and inspected them. "These aren't the hands of a tailor," she said using his hand to caress her cheek.

"What type of hands are they then?" he asked.

"Many things, the hands of an explorer, of an honest and hard-working man, the hands that hold my heart, my soul . . ."

He shook his head and said quietly, "You're going to spoil me, Beverly. I don't deserve-"

But she stopped his words with a kiss, "You deserve so much more." Then after a deeper kiss, "And I have every intention of spoiling you."

He smiled and kissed her forehead tenderly, "I hope I can do an equal job of spoiling you then."

She smiled, "You already have - you already have."

They went downstairs to wait; he had already made the transport arrangements. "Ready?" he asked as she stared at her feet. She nodded and smiled bravely. "Beverly," he began again, "everything's going to be fine."

"I know. I just wish this wasn't a closed session."

"That's just because of the classified nature of the information. It doesn't mean anything other than that. And you don't have to go. You can wait here."

"And get all dressed up for nothing?" she said offering a smile. He leaned toward her just letting their lips meet briefly.

As he tapped his communicator the electronic chirp sounded strangely out of place in the antique surroundings, "Captain Picard to Starfleet transport, two to beam over."

"Acknowledged," came the crisp reply, "on your signal, Sir."

They stood up straight as he called, "Energize."

The familiar blue beam of light deposited them into the main transporter room at Starfleet Academy. The sight had been chosen for in deference to the Captain and First Officer who were both from Earth. Will Riker stepped forward to greet them. "Good morning, all."

"Number One, are you the official escort this morning?" Picard asked.

"Purely unofficial," he said as the doors to the room swished open to reveal Admiral Thomas Henry, Chief of Starfleet Security.

The Admiral smiled soberly and offered his hand to Picard, "Jean-Luc, I wish the circumstances were different."

Picard smiled back genuinely, "Thomas, it's the nature of our jobs. We both understand that."

"Doctor," Henry said taking Beverly's hand. "You look wonderful - as always.

"Thomas, how have you been?" she asked as they entered the hallway.

"Busy as always but as you can see I'm still enjoying Ticia's cooking way too much," he said patting his ample waistline. They laughed as they made their way down the hall. The slightly forced small talk continued until they reached the door of the courtroom.

Worf, Geordi, Deanna and Data waited outside the entrance. They all rose to greet the Captain and Beverly. Picard smiled as he shook each one's hand and repeated, "Thank you for coming."

Jean-Luc held Beverly's eyes for a moment. She wanted to hold him but she knew it probably wasn't appropriate. It's going to be all right Beverly, he told her silently. He wanted to say so much more but they were waiting. He squeezed her hand gently, nodding to her before turning to enter the courtroom.

"Jean-Luc," called Admiral Connaught Rossa from across the room. Picard smiled, glad to see the familiar face. The slight, silver-haired lady came to meet him with a warm smile on her face. "It's good to see you, Captain."

"Admiral, I didn't realize you were going to be on the panel."

"I asked to be assigned to this case even though Bernard will be acting as your counsel. I hope you won't protest that."

"No, not at all. I'm just surprised your husband didn't mention it when I spoke with him."

"Knowing Bernard, he probably didn't think it relevant. This isn't the first time we've served on these panels together."

The other panel members present also looked familiar to him. He followed Admiral C. Rossa to the front of the room. Two conference tables had been set facing each other. One had 3 chairs behind it while the other only had two. An auxiliary table with one chair stood between the tables - Admiral Henry would sit there, the official observer.

The other members came forth as Admiral Henry introduced them to Jean-Luc. "Captain Jean-Luc Picard I would like you to meet, Vice-Admiral Stopek and Admiral Mark Rivers. He shook hands with each of them as they nodded in return. He knew them by reputation but had hoped to meet under different circumstances.

Stopek was a Vulcan whose research was directed toward the phenomena of time paradoxes. Picard knew instantly why he had been chosen or more likely asked to be included on this panel.

Admiral Rivers was an expert in tactical operations. Rivers was the youngest of the panel but his reputation had been earned both in theory and practice. His slightly graying brown hair and green eyes hinted at his own intensity.

From the rear of the room came another familiar voice as Bernard Rossa entered and began making his apologies. "Sorry I'm late, he called, data padd in his hand. Although it was more of a ceremonial role he was to ensure that proper protocols were to be followed and that Picard had all the resources necessary if a defense became necessary. "Has everybody been introduced?"

"Yes, we've already attended to the pleasantries, Admiral," the other Admiral Rossa answered. "I'm glad you decided to join us after all," she added as the panel took its seats.

"What and let you have all the fun," he called to her as he led Picard to their chairs. "Now then let's get this over with," he said settling into his seat. Picard was grateful for his casual manner but he wished he could share his non-chalance about the proceedings. Then Bernard Rossa had never been in Picard's position.

Admiral Henry's deep voice sounded into the air, "Computer begin recording. . . "

In the hallway Beverly walked toward the window at the end of the corridor. She had already found the shortest path between the window and the bench outside the hearing room. Worf and Will stood across from the hearing room doors looking as though they were ready to bound in at any moment should their Captain call for help. Geordi and Deanna sat on the bench both leaning forward with their hands clasped together in front of them.

Data found the reactions of his colleagues very intriguing; he kept adjusting his posture to imitate each person while he tried to find the one that he felt most comfortable with. In the end it was a mixture of his own heartfelt emotional response and those he saw around him. A sullen look combined with his standard pacing and the steepling of his fingers. The last an imitation of Captain Picard; he had often seen this gesture as the Captain considered various options in his ready room. Perhaps he should attempt to speak with Dr. Crusher. It was obvious she was more concerned than anyone.

Data's internal query began, I am surprised Counselor Troi has not attempted to make everyone feel more at ease? Usually she has some suggestion as to how to deal with such situations. It has been 14 minutes, 37 seconds since the Captain entered the room, surely the Counselor can sense that the silence is increasing the tension. Surely she will offer-

"Beverly, why don't we go get something to drink. The cafeteria's right around the corner," Deanna said as she walked to Beverly's position at the window.

Beverly smiled, "No, I don't want anything. Thank you. You go ahead."

Deanna knew she had little chance of getting Beverly to leave the hallway. "Would you like me to bring you something?" Deanna offered.

"No, I'm fine really. I'm just enjoying the view. It's remarkably clear for January. You'd think there would be more fog?" Beverly crossed her arms across her chest and continued to stare out the window. Deanna smiled and went back to her place on the bench.

The First Officer rubbed his neck as if he were weary already. He hated waiting; hated it more than anything. Next to him he could feel Worf shift uncomfortably as the silence hung in the quiet corridor. He had to diffuse it somehow. "Geordi, any idea when they might release the rest of our belongings?" asked Will.

"Sorry Commander, it looks as though not until after the hearing. I understand they found your trombone," LaForge offered with a small smile.

"That's what the manifest said. I hope it's still playable I sure could use the practice right now."

"You could always use the practice," joked Deanna.

Will smiled at her wryly. It was so comforting just to have her near. Last night she reminded how special their relationship was; how it would always be special. But she wasn't ready to change that relationship. Or at least that's what she had said aloud but he could feel her indecision. As they talked into the night he they held each other close but no passion flared, no tension either, just comfort. The embrace of friends, destiny still uncertain.

A young lieutenant approached the group, "Commander Riker?" he asked of the bearded man.

"Yes, I'm Commander Will Riker."

The young man smiled and offered him a data padd, "Sir, Admiral Moore, asked that I give you this." Riker smiled and looked over the information as he took a seat on the bench.

"Just more duty assignments," he said studying the information. "Still shuffling people around the galaxy. Lieutenant Ward and Ensign Martens have been assigned to the Voyager. She'll be leaving in a few days."

"She's a beautiful ship," Geordi said, "not quiet the same lines as the Enterprise but she has some nice features."

"I understand they will be assigned to investigate Maquis activity along the neutral zone," offered Worf. "It should be an honorable assignment. They are fortunate."

"Who's the Captain?" asked Beverly as she came down to join them.

"Captain Kathryn Janeway," answered Will.

"I don't think I've heard of her," said Deanna.

"I have," said Beverly. "I only know her by reputation but she's supposed to be tough but fair. And very good."

Data was glad for a topic he could join in on. He gladly began to go through the ship's specs and crew compliment. The others actually seemed interested in even the most banal details like the number of public bathroom facilities and the new technological innovations like the holo-novel and the emergency medical hologram program. Time passed a little quicker now that they had something to keep them occupied other than worrying.

As lunch time approached their attention shifted back to the doors of the courtroom. Beverly was back at the window but her gaze was fixed on the doors. Three Cadets, each carrying a tray approached the doors and slipped inside. They nodded as they passed the officers on the bench.

"Looks like they'll be working through lunch," observed Will. He sighed uneasily.

"Why don't we all go find something to eat ourselves? Beverly, please?" called Deanna.

"Go ahead, all of you. I'll wait a while longer," Beverly said. Deanna and Will exchanged a glance.

Data attempted to predict the probable success they would have in convincing the Doctor to leave the area. For some reason the phrase, Not by the hair on my chiney chin chin, popped into his head quickly followed by the odds for the survival rate of coagulated frozen water molecules or snowballs in hell. The phrasing used to express certain emotions was still troubling to him.

The Cadets emerged. One of them asked for Dr. Crusher and handed her a message. She smiled and looked relieved as she leaned against the window. Holding the note up a bit she said, "Seems I'm under Captain's orders to go have lunch."

Will brightened as he stood, "Well then, as First Officer, it's my duty to see that those orders are carried out. Worf, bring her along will you?"

Worf pulled himself up to his full height and smiled slyly and said, "With pleasure Sir." He turned and looked at Beverly sizing her up for a moment; his eyes narrowing. Beverly crossed her arms over her chest enjoying the game, a defiant look spread across her face. The others watched the showdown in amusement. Once again Data's odds making subroutine flashed into his head yielding the same results.

Worf took a step as Beverly steadied herself. Despite his first instincts the Klingon quickly recalled the only person who ever had any success in making the redhead do something she really didn't want to - the man whose orders she was now under. He smiled and decided on trying to duplicate that man's diplomatic style, "Surely you would not disobey a direct order from your future husband?"

"If you think I'm going to take orders from my husband-" Beverly began, her hands settling on her hips.

"I meant your Captain. You do still follow orders from superior officers?" Worf tried again.

Beverly's eyebrows shot up, she wanted to say, Superior? What the heck do you mean by superior? but she held it in.

Finally Worf gave her a half-smile and offered a clenched, "Please?"

Beverly opened her mouth to reply but dropped it into a smile. "Why Mr. Worf," she said walking toward him, "since you put is so sweetly, I'd love to join you for lunch." She took his arm and headed down the hall.

The others fell into step behind them. Another phrase about flies and honey passed through the Android's brain, he nodded and followed.

The afternoon passed slowly. They had been shown a waiting lounge just across the hall form the hearing room and they propped the door open to maintain their vigil. Geordi nodded off once and was glad that the visor kept him from being discovered. Will and Worf took turns pacing while Data worked up the nerve to inquire more about the Captain and Doctor's upcoming nuptials.

Having served as Father of the Bride at the wedding of his friend Keiko Ishikawa to Miles O'Brien he found the experience pleasant but he had far more questions concerning the whole marriage issue. He approached the Doctor a few times but turned away as if pacing as he lost his nerve.

"Data, is everything all right?" Beverly asked as she watched him turn away suddenly for the fourth time in as many minutes.

He turned to face her; furrowing his brow, "Doctor, I . . . I never mind." He started to turn again but Beverly caught his arm and led him to one of the sofas by the window.

"Out with it, Data. I could use the distraction right now," she said forcing him to sit.

He opened his mouth a few times before finally starting, "Doctor, I am curious about a few facts regarding your upcoming nuptials."

"Well, we haven't set a date yet or decided on a location but other than that what can I help you with?" She pulled her legs under her as she readied herself for Data's inquiry.

"In my quest to become more human and now that I am capable of emotions I find myself with certain - needs." Beverly's eyebrows lifted slightly at the last word. Data quickly amended, "Perhaps that is not the correct term - desires, longings, yearnings-" he tried out each word and watched her reaction carefully. Her eyes widening just a little more with each one as a smile began to tug at her lips.

"Data," she interrupted, "I'm not quite sure I understand what you're looking for. I thought this was about the wedding?"

He cocked his head and pursed his lips as if in deep thought, "How did you know?"

"Know what, Data?"

"I have heard others describe a moment when they knew that this was the person they were going to marry. Did you experience a similar moment?"

Beverly looked at her friend; he was desperately looking for some revelation - one she really hadn't thought about. It had all happened rather quickly - well as quickly as things could have happened in 25 years. "Data, the situation with Jean-Luc and I was a little more complicated; we've been friends for sometime and," she paused to take a deep breath, "and it suddenly seemed like the most natural step we could take."

From the expression on his face she could tell this was not the answer he was looking for but it was the only she had for now. "So there was no moment of epiphany that you just knew."

She smiled at him, "Data is was the sum of every moment and I'm sure Jean-Luc will give you a much different answer." Things were beginning to become a little clearer. "And I have a feeling your experience of falling in love will be much different."

The golden eyes looked up and then fell down again. "But I will not be able to marry."

"What makes you say that?"

"Most marriage vows include the promise, Until death do us part. I have an infinite life span so how could I take part in such a tradition when I know I will no doubt outlive my wife?"

A warm smile covered the Doctor's face, "Oh Data. It's not the length of time that matters. And you've had more than your share of close calls - we could have lost you several times." She took his hand in hers, "Oh, Data, you're going to make someone very happy. Very happy indeed."

At that moment Jean-Luc appeared in the doorway. She looked up trying to detect any hint of how the proceedings had gone. As usual he hid any traces of distress but his eyes seemed to brighten as he spied her on the sofa.

"Are you ready to leave, Doctor?" he asked without fully entering the room.

She stood and nodded, "Yes, of course."

"Captain?" asked Will quickly closing the distance from across the room.

"I'm sorry Number One. I can't discuss the proceedings at this point," Picard told him.

The First Officer nodded in response, "I understand but am I correct in assuming there will be another day of questioning tomorrow or have they adjourned to make a decision already?"

Picard shifted uneasily and sighed in a breath, "Same time tomorrow morning, more questions but they should have a decision by the end of the day." Jean-Luc took Beverly's arm and added, "If you'll excuse us," before leading her away. He wanted to speak with them all; tell them how much he appreciated their support. But all he could concentrate on was getting home with Beverly, being able to hold her in his arms.

Will nodded again but they had already turned. Turning back to the others he looked straight at Deanna and asked a silent question. She concentrated for a moment as the others turned to watch her.

"He doesn't seem overly concerned but he could just be internalizing everything for Beverly's sake. Once he saw her everything else became secondary." Deanna shook her head.

"Well, at least he has her now," Will added without looking at anyone this time. "Let's get out of here. Why don't we all go see if one of my favorite places is still just around the corner?"

"That's not the place where the wait staff suddenly breaks into Klingon opera?" asked Geordi. Worf and Deanna looked to Will for confirmation.

Riker smoothed his beard and smiled, "The very place. And I'll bet I can convince our own Mr. Worf to join me in a duet."

Data's odds making sub-routine kicked into gear once again.

She was doing her best to maintain the silence. They changed and went into the library before dinner. Neither were really hungry so he tried to concentrate on his book while she fixed the collar on his uniform.

Maybe I should tell him about Data's questions? Or about the Voyager? I wonder if he knows Captain Janeway? "Ow," she called as she accidentally pricked her finger with the needle.

He looked up from the book he wasn't really reading. "Are you all right?"

"Yes," she said somewhat embarrassed. "I just became distracted for a minute - it won't happen again." He smiled at his own words from the previous evening. He remembered her reaction.

"Are you almost done?" he asked.

"Yes. Why don't you try it on? Let me know what you think?"

He stood and crossed to her side. Examining the collar for a minute he waited for her to react.

"What? is something wrong?" she asked standing to see what he was looking at so intently.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close, "Aren't you going to help me with my shirt?" A sly smile crossed his face as he leaned forward to nuzzle her neck. He could feel her fingers working on the buttons of his shirt. He dropped the uniform into the chair behind her and gripped her tighter.

God, it felt so good to have her in his arms. Everything was going to be all right.

They were safe here - or so he thought.